to not choose my own Christmas presents?

[ChristmasBaubles]

Totally first world problems... I'm just ranting.
Every year at Christmas (and birthday) I'm asked what I want for presents. If I don't come up with ideas I'm asked over and over until I do. This means that I always know what I'm getting, there is never a surprise.
AIBU to want to open a present, even just one, and not already know what's in it?

Who is asking? If you got a surprise would it be a crap one?

Same here.

People want lists.

I never ask for lists. I use my little brain-box. Also, wouldn't want to put the same pressure on other people that I feel when I'm asked for lists.

Even my secret santa at work asked what I wanted.

Gah!

No one in particular, same from everyone.
I always choose gifts for other people that I think they will like, which to me is the spirit of gift-giving.

This is why I/we quit giving and receiving Christmas gifts.

The kids get gifts, usually cash but adults.. Nothing.

I'd prefer to make it about spending time with each other rasher than money on each other.

Still do birthday gifts as that's just one person at a time to think about.

Yep, my DP's family are like this and I think it's bizarre. They all tell each other exactly what they want and the others just buy it for them.

I just don't see the point - we are all adults and we have jobs, if I want something I will usually buy it for myself. Unless of course it's mega expensive, in which case no one would buy me it as a gift anyway!

Just takes all the spirit out of it for me, when no one has put any thought in.

Yabu and YANBU...

YANBU because it's nice to be surprised and to have someone thinking about you

Yabu as it's nice to get something you actually want rather than an off the wall surprise which isn't what you wanted.

I'm feeling a bit guilty this year as DHs presents he's buying himself and I'm wrapping. But it's all technical stuff that needs to fit (like a new motorbike helmet) or hobby stuff that he understands his exact requirements better than I do. Trying to think of some little bits for surprises.

One year because neither of us knew what to get the other but knew what we wanted OH and I each bought and wrapped our own present for the other to give. The surprise was in what we gave not what we received, we both bought something that the other would never have thought of.

Yanbu if you are happy to receive something you may not want, might think more like tat or something depending on the givers opinion, for the surprise joy then that's pretty fun.

My gran loves a surprise regardless so it's nice to shop for her.

When you have people who won't give ideas but are never happy with the surprise it's a ballache. Though now those people just get what they are given.

For me, if people need to ask what to give, you really need to ask yourselves why you are exchanging gifts. Can you not exchange cards instead and buy yourselves a treat?

If you are determined to continue the exchange, have a mooch on Amazon and make yourself a wishlist of all the random things you never buy for yourself. People can look at the list and either pick something from it or be inspired to get something.

Part of the problem is having to come up with something on the spot. This way, you only have to think about it once.

Exactly cracker. If you have to tell people to buy X item from Y shop, it's not a gift and you might as well not bother and just buy your own stuff as and when you want/need it or see it at a good price.

But if you like to exchange gifts or have insistent family, I think that the least painful way is to just think of something consumable that you like, where they would still have to do some thinking and there is still an element of surprise with little risk that you wouldn't like what they've chosen and just tell them that is what you want.

Mine is gin or fizzy wine, I've never come across any of either I do not like so if someone asks me what I want, I say 'gin or fizzy wine, any type' and that allows them to spend anything from a fiver upwards on something that they know I will enjoy.

Just do what I do and agree with everyone not to buy each other presents. Instead just insist that you make time to meet up over Christmas for a drink or something. Trust me, you'll have a lot less stress, less expense, less stuff you didn't want cluttering up the house and you'll have a much nicer, more social Christmas.

The only exceptions are my stepdaughter and wife (who we agree a modest limit).

Done it for a few years now and it makes Christmas so much more enjoyable, less stress and you ensure you make plans to see people you love.

I never asks for lists the whole point of gift giving for me is the surprise. I like to think I know people well enough to get them something they like. I'd rather people get me a surprise too tbh.

My husband's family do this as well, I think it takes all the fun out of it

Oh this is a tough one! Perhaps tell them you'd be happy with a surprise but if they are really struggling, to come back to you?

I agree that there's nothing like a thoughtful surprise gift of something you love, but didn't realise before you wanted. But let's face it, a surprise is more likely to be something or don't want or don't need (at least that's my experience). From an environmental standpoint it's much better to only buy things we need or at least want, so I think on average YABU...

It is difficult. I agree, OP, the best presents are ones where someone who really knows you has thought hard and come up with something that you love, but perhaps didn't even know existed. But in my family, actual presents tend to be things where people who don't know me as well as they think have panic bought something I don't really like and would never have chosen. Charity shops tend to do very well from my Christmas present haul. Which is fine, but if I were to be asked, I could give better suggestions that would at least point people in the right direction. As it is, it all seems like a huge waste of time and money to buy me things I don't want or need.

Agree stopping gifts for adults would be even better but DH would not agree with that!!

Stop presents

Yabu, surprises are pointless and usually disappointing. People want to know because they want to but you something you want or need.