In as quick a post as possible I have posted something similar in the past but I’m still in a pickle as of what to do and looking for advice from an outsider perspective... I’ve changed some aspects of the info as I know I have friends etc on her and he has family members that love this site.
-Met DH 5 years ago agreed I’d have a child with him (I’ve got a 12 and a 7 year old from previous marriage and have a great relationship with their dad. All very amicable)
-DH can be selfish although he fails to see this unless it’s pointed out. He worked on an oil rig for years so I’m his first serious relationship. An only child so always had things his own way.
- Try’s to control money and tries to ‘advise’ me that we shouldn’t be spending too much as it’s eg...Christmas (just for info we have about £25,000 in our savings so I don’t feel he should tell me what’s acceptable to spend money on- it’s not as if we haven’t got anything to pay the mortgage with this month.... ‘advises’ me to go to the cheapest supermarket etc as he’s a total tight arse.
- He is over the top when it comes to cleaning and I sometimes feel like I’m in an army barracks and the head soldier is coming in to check everything is in order!
- I do love him and he has good qualities but he’s hard work and again I think it cones down to him being selfish and it’s his way all the time.
- I’m happy to have a baby with him but I feel for it to work well we would need to move to Newcastle. We currently live in Hexham and I commute each day to take my children to school about 40 mins away. He’s from Hexham and wants to stay here.
- I’m not prepared to move my DC schools. I feel if we moved closer to Newcastle it would be easier for me as I wouldn’t have to commute. I’ve tried bringing it up but I’ve been shot down twice and he says “You said at the beginning that you’d move here. I don’t want to move, I’m done with living away.”
I feel like he’s holding me to ransom. He’s hard work to live with and having a baby as much as it’s wonderful, any cracks in a relationship will end up crators. When I said yes at the beginning I didn’t know how selfish he is.
- We have no support here at all. We wouldn’t need support in N’castle as I’d be close to DC school etc...
I’m not necessarily asking what I should do. I’m asking whether I’m being the one being unreasonable or is it him? He makes it sound like he’s in the army and it’s my issue but he’s not in the army. He just doesn’t want to move....
He’s wanting to try now and I just think you selfish man....