How do you define "success"?

[PenguinBollard]

OH spent the day yesterday with a group of new friends having a games day.
He reflected afterwards that he was the "least successful person in the room".
The three others were a Business Consultant (with a PhD in Mathematics), a Forensic Scientist and an entrepreneur whose IT business currently employs about 40 odd people.
OH works part-time, for me, in one of my small businesses - its a Jack-of-all-trades role, but is predominantly admin.

We had a whole conversation about it (mainly focused on making sure OH wasn't feeling inferior) but it started me wondering - success is clearly subjective, and I'm not sure I fully know how I'd personally define it.

So...how do you define success?

Is the Doctor of Mathematics more successful than the part-time administrator?

ps. I know there's no clear AIBU sorry

I used to define it as position and money.

Now I define it as happiness and security.

I had a few stressful years working bonkers hours under the most amazing amount of pressure and I Realised I was incredibly jealous of my friends who were granted a few funds down the career ladder but were clearly much happier than I was. They were winning I was not😊.

Success is more than a job title. For us it’s about having a happy, balanced life, rich in love and support, striving to work to get what we want.
Both went to Uni, both ended up in careers that allowed regular promotion, if the work was put in, and if you were lucky. So a career, not a job. One in Fire Service, worked way up ranks, retired at 55. One swopped from teaching to Leisure services, rose up to Area Manager/ Principal Officer, finished work at 45. Bought a house together at 24, big four bedroom with huge garden. Stayed married, worked hard, saved for what we wanted, avoided credit. No children. Just dogs , horses and cats. Lots of holidays, classic cars, Motorhome, caring for parents and enjoying their love and generosity. Lots of hobbies, decent pensions until we get State pensions. We don’t owe anything, we love each other, and both think we have had a fantastic life.

For me, I feel successful when I am enjoying work most of the time, achieving good results, and I earn enough to support the life I have. Not being stressed or anxious about money or work is really important to me; too.

I think the word "success", on its own, does tend to imply career success to me. Not necessarily mega bucks, but something that is challenging or requires a lot of hard work or intelligence.

Of course, your OH could be the kindest, happiest, most mentally healthy and well balanced of the four of them. Which are much more important characteristics.

Happiness and satisfaction, far, far outweigh money and status. They're just ego.

Success to me is happiness, feeling loved, giving love, having a purpose in life, roof over my head, enough money to live a nice life and have a happy child.

You can be the most educated, richest person in the work but miserable as anything. I wouldn't call that success!

I think Dollymixture22 had it right. Happiness and security. To me this means good interpersonal relationships, good self esteem and, enough money to never rely on anyone whether that is individual or government.

I think you could be a Doctor, Scientist, CEO of a multi national company but be unsuccessful, how?
You may have no work/life balance, be very stressed and unhappy, lonely, hate your job, get no job satisfaction.

Success is all relative, People can have very little in life but be very happy, fulfilled, with plenty going on in your life, good health so I would see this as just as successful as someone happy in a high flying career.

Happiness, fulfilment, contentedness, financially secure, loved, all without having hurt anyone or anything in doing so.

Having enough money not to have to sweat the small stuff. Not to worry if there's enough in the account to pay for the groceries, the mortgage, surprise repairs on the car, or a vet's bill. I don't want posh holidays, cruises, expensive restaurant meals. I just don't want to worry - and I DONT!

Whether you are comfortable in your own skin and happy. It's the only measure that matters.

I don't think "success" is a good measure of one's life. It implies having "won" on some level - either in money, status or contentment and stability. And therefore necessitates comparison.

I agree that success is about career and riches.

Happiness is a much nicer measure and that is a much broader field

Success is living your best life

Success is living your best life - what does that mean?

I agree that success is about career and riches. Happiness is a much nicer measure - I'm trying to change my mind set that success is linked to happiness, or that even happiness IS success. But right now, yes, I'd agree on those definitions.

Success is living your best life yes, what DOES that mean??

Having suffered mental ill health due to work related stress and anxiety (I probably LOOKED successful due to the salary I was paid and the fact that I drove a very nice company car) I feel more successful in that I re evaluated my priorities, pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got a job which pays a much much lower salary but gives me a far better work/life balance.

For me, it's recognising the difference between APPEARING successful and FEELING content with life.

For me, success comes from being happy and content and engaged in whatever venture I'm doing. It would also mean feeling financially comfortable so not struggling paycheck to paycheck

I'm not bothered about earning mega bucks. I'm not bothered about having the MN 6 month salary in savings. I'm not bothered about flash holidays or a fancy car or a career title.

But I want a job or role I feel challenged in, a good work-life balance, happy relationships and time for my hobbies and interests.

lolasmiles my sentiments exactly

Having made good decisions.

Good relationships with the people in your life, enough money to be comfortable in your chosen lifestyle, work that you enjoy, hobbies, social life. Love and stability for your kids if you have any.

Obviously there are different types of success (personal, professional etc) but in the example given, OPs OH was clearly talking in career terms.

In that respect, I would say that yes, the Doctor of Mathematics is objectively more successful than the part-time administrator

Of course there are lots of qualifying factors, eg SN, upbringing, educational opportunity etc that can make such comparisons
unbalanced

Oh and also a viable plan for the future. If you're comfortably off now, but your lifestyle drops off a cliff edge once you're too old to work and you're ignoring that, then I don't think you're successful in the long term.

Tough in this climate, though.

Success is falling asleep together excited for tomorrow and all the days to come.

Today success is blowing off work to snuggle on the sofa with my daughter whose sick.
Previous success has been giving my time to community projects, being able to have a job I could relocate so my husband was closer to his work.
Its taken a while to get my mindset this way. Previously I'd look at how much is in the bank, how big the house is, job titles etc ironically when I stopped focussing on these they happened...minus the bank balance. Can't have it all!

Success is achieving or be in the way to achieve the goals you've set for yourself. It can status related, financial, family related, health related etc... Or a mixture of the above.

Sucess is not defined by comparing yourself to others.