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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex entering my house at own will

9 replies

MaryPoppin5 · 24/11/2019 16:17

My ex and I have been separated for a year. I live in the house we both had a mortgage on. But he keep entering the property at his own free will. Sometimes he will do it when I’m in the house, just walk in and start taking stuff. Sometimes when I’m not there he comes in and takes things.
I know that legal he has a right to enter the property, but I have asked him to let me know prior, or if there is stuff he needs I’m happy to take them to take them round.
I’m starting to really get anxious Over it now, and feel like he is interfering with my life moving on. Can anyone offer some advice ?

OP posts:
justanotherlemontree · 24/11/2019 16:20

Ugh my ex never knocks, he just walks in. Drives me mad. I’ve asked him a number of times and he says he forgets. A bit different for us as we’re on good terms and I’m happy for him to let himself in when I’m not here, but it’s so rude! You don’t just barge in to someone’s house!

justanotherlemontree · 24/11/2019 16:20

No advice there but I empathise!

BlodwynBludd · 24/11/2019 16:21

Could you put a chain across when you're in and leave a key in the door when you go out and go in and out via the back door?

Clangus00 · 24/11/2019 16:22

If he’s still on the mortgage, all you can do is appeal to his better nature.
If you’re in the house, keep your keys in the locks and let him knock. You can’t even deadbolt the doors without telling him.
Sorry.

MitziK · 24/11/2019 16:22

'Lose' your key and change the lock.

Mislay the keys repeatedly, or get a keysafe that unfortunately malfunctions and keeps changing the code each time you leave the house.

Get some wifi cameras.

Get a very large boyfriend who reacts to an intruder rather strongly.

Moondancer73 · 24/11/2019 16:31

Is there another way you can go out and leave the door he comes in through locked from inside? My ex used to do this so I took to locking the front door from inside, leaving the key in and going out via the garage, which he had no key for. We still do that now in fact, it's become a habit.

monkeymonkey2010 · 24/11/2019 17:54

You've been separated a year, he no longer has rights to enter your home 'at will' even if his name is still on the deeds/mortgage.

Change the locks and report him to the police if he harasses you.

Whatsername7 · 24/11/2019 18:11

Honestly? I'd make arrangements to sell and move on. No, he shouldn't just walk in. However, im not sure its illegal if his name is on the mortgage? Getting your own place would be a chance to start afresh.

ChaoticKate · 24/11/2019 18:12

My good friend separated from her abusive husband and was told by the police that as he was no longer resident in the property she was within her rights to change the locks. He was joint owner but the police had no problems with her changing the locks. They also advised that she fit a bolt and chain. Her solicitor also advised that she change the locks, solicitor said that his solicitor might send a letter saying you shouldn’t have done that and you must let him have a key but that she could just ignore it.

Yes, technically he has the right to access the property but actually you can just change the locks or at the very least put a bolt on the door and there’s not an awful lot he can do (except be a dick obviously).
Just say you lost your keys and had to change the locks.

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