not to donate

[DDiva]

Hi

I'm lucky that we get on very well with the other parents of children in dd's class. Most of us are quite involved in pick ups/ drop offs, pta and the mums will often meet up for dinner/drinks.

Recently one of the dads with a dd in my dd class has done a charity boxing match. Despite it being a great charity and being friends with the mum and dad I couldn't bring myself to donate. I really dislike boxing.

Boxers are athletes, it takes skill and tactics and a great level of fitness. But I cannot understand or endorse a sport which its main aim is to hurt the opponent enough to stop them being able to stand.

This dislike of boxing has also been compounded with the glitz and glamour at these events. Having seen pictures of all the mums done up in evening dresses to watch men hit each other, it feels very them and us.

I am really surprised so many of the Mums thought this was a great night out.

So am I unreasonable to not donate to the charity because I dont agree with boxing.

Also interested in your view of boxing as a sport.

I would also not be donating. You don’t need to justify it.

You’re within your rights to donate to whatever you choose and vice versa no need to explain yourself to anyone

You don't have to donate to anything ever if you don't want to...it's totally your choice.

I'm not a fan of boxing and would be devastated if my ds ended up doing it. However, two grown men willingly doing it doesn't bother me, their choice.

It wouldn't bother me as it's their own (stupid) choice but I give to the charities I want to and wouldn't be explaining why to anyone.

Charity giving is personal, not everyone will donate and most have a few preferred charities.

I dislike boxing, upto those that choose to do it but I wouldn’t go and watch it ever even if pressured.

I hate boxing (to be fair I don't like any sport ) so I wouldn't sponsor that event either.

However your donation is to the charity not to boxing. If you are otherwise happy to support the charity then donate directly. If anyone asks, you can explain.

I dislike boxing and would never go and watch a match, I also pick and choose which charities I support so I’d have issues not donating.

By not donating the charity will lose out. the boxing match will still go ahead regardless.

I'm not keen on boxing but supporting the charity would be more important than my dislike of the 'sport'.

I don’t think your dislike of boxing should get in the way of you donating if you think it’s a good cause , which is what is sounds like happened . Would you have donated if he’d been running a 10k for the same charity ? .

I'm with PPs; you've a complete right to donate (or not) to whatever you wish - no explanation needed, though you could say you already have "chosen charities" if you want to soften it

I'm absolutely with you on the reason, though; normally I take the view "each to their own if it's legal", but this glorification of violence is a very rare exception

Donate directly to the charity. That way you're not endorsing boxing...which to my mind is legalised thuggery....but still helping a worthy cause.

Yes @floralnomsd think I would which is what promoted me to post. I think I will make a donation directly instead.

I also see my dislike of boxing isnt that unusual. From the responses of the other parents/mums I seemed to be the only one with any issue.

Of course we can all donate or not to whatever charity we want.

I dont think anyone will wonder why I haven't donated or ask why thankfully. I have managed to avoid much conversation about it.

I don’t explain my principles to anyone OP. You don’t need to explain yours. We’re all different. Don’t worry about it.

You are not being unreasonable at all. It's your money and you're not required to make any kind of donation.

YANBU at all. As others have said, charity giving is a personal thing.

I don't mind being asked at work etc. when people are fundraising for various things... within reason, if you don't ask, you don't get. But I rarely donate, to be honest. My issue is usually with the charities themselves (i.e. ones I wouldn't choose to support/prioritise myself) and not what they are doing to raise money, but I think it boils down to the same thing.

In my case, I can then just go and donate something similar to one of the charities I support, if I so wish. And in your case as you've said, you can negate the boxing issue by donating directly to their chosen charity as you wish.

YABU because it's a non-event, no one has an issue with you not donating.

You do sound a bit judgemental about the others. I'm not into boxing but if a sport can produce a man like Muhammad Ali, then it can't be all bad. (Although of course it did impact his health).

Yanbu.
I wouldn't "sponser" someone to do it.

I assume, since it is a great charity, you have sent them a donation by other means. If it’s only the boxing thing that is putting you off.

Yanbu not to donate. I understand why you dont like boxing. However it doesnt bother me because its adults who sign up for it knowing what's involved. They chose to do it (I never would and dont understand why they do but each to their own). Horse racing and dog racing bother me much more. The horses dont have a choice and the jumps are so high and they hit them to make them run faster. Dont understand how watching that is fun or sport.

I’m really on the fence with boxing. There is a fair amount of boxing in my background, and I know it was sport and an impressive one at that. But you’re right, they’re just beating the crap out of each other

I’m also uncomfortable with the set up around boxing. It’s often young black (or other minority) men and women getting the crap beaten out of them, risking future brain injury or current serious injury, and in the background there are always middle aged white men getting rich off their risks and health.

I don't feel particularly for or against boxing but would appreciate its not for everyone and I think you're right to stand by your opinions & values.

I've had similar issues with outings being organized to greyhound racing.I explain why I don't attend to those who ask.

YANBU, you can donate or not for any reason you like, it's a personal choice.

I absolutely love boxing as a sport.

YANBU, you can donate or not for any reason you like, it's a personal choice.

I absolutely love boxing as a sport.

This is exactly my take on the issue too.