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AIBU?

AIBU to want to be on my own sometimes!?

4 replies

brentwoodbaby · 24/11/2019 10:52

DH and I have had a blazing row this morning and I need some perspective!

We have two kids -12 and 3 and both work full time. If it matters I'm the breadwinner and work about 60 hours a week (Mon-Fri); he works about 40 hours a week (Mon-Fri and every other Saturday). He gets home around 4.45pm and the house is empty until around 6.30pm when I get home with the kids (eldest DD often at clubs or walks to my mums as closer to school).

His last three weekends off he's either been away for the weekend at a hobby show or last weekend he went over to a mates all day on the Sunday to fix a problem with his car. I haven't had an hour on my own (not even my commute- I take 3 year old to nursery near my work!) for 7 weeks.

Yesterday when he got home from work I asked him if he could give me a break. I've been incredibly stressed at work for the past couple of weeks and can feel myself being short tempered with the kids. He agreed then Fannied around on his phone for an hour until the toddler decided she was hungry and didn't want to go out so they never made it out of the front door.

Last night I told him how disappointed I was that he doesn't listen to what I say and that he must know how feeling as he regularly takes weekends 'off' to decompress from family life - I just want an hour or two on my own in my own house.

This morning he got up with the toddler then sent her up with a slice of toast at 7am which led to her bringing her toys in bed with me to play lovely normally; not today. About an hour ago I absolutely lost it at him. I told him I was going to leave if it was the only way I'd get a break every now and then. He's stormed off (in my car) with both the kids with not even so much as a goodbye which has now left me feeling like shit waiting for an argument when he gets home rather than spending a couple of hours winding down.

I know I probably am being unread and there are single parents who live with this for longer than 7 weeks but I actually hate him at the moment Sad

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 24/11/2019 10:57

It's easier as a single parent because you can be organised and you don't have a man's mess to clear up, pressure to perform in bed and sulking. I loved being a single mum.
He sounds like a selfish shit. he needs telling again and again until he gets it. It's not ok to only think about yourself like this.
You either pull together as a family or bugger off and live like a single man in my opinion.

suziedoozy · 24/11/2019 10:58

I don’t think you are being the slightest bit unreasonable, everyone needs breathing space at times. I think sometimes it’s hard for some men to realize that we are always ‘on’. I don’t really have any advice as I am new to parenting but I know how you feel. Flowers

LittleLongDog · 24/11/2019 11:01

I completely get where you’re coming from.

You don’t need to compare yourself to being a single parent because you’re not: you have a 50/50 partner who you live with and you should be able to rely on each other and lift each other up when you/they need it.

Have a conversation when you’re both feeling calm.

StreetwiseHercules · 24/11/2019 11:06

I’m a dad and he is being and absolute complete and utter prick. Beyond selfish. Show him I said this if it helps.

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