To think that town/ city life is often healthier than rural life?

[BoogleMcGroogle]

I've just been speaking on the phone to a good friend who has just made the surprising move of leaving their big, beautiful 'forever home' in the rolling countryside and moving into an unremarkable bungalow on the edge of a large commuter town. They are so much happier and she was describing how their quality of life has improved. They are healthier as its now safe to walk wherever they like ( their dogs are fitter than ever), they have more time because of a shorter commute and less maintainence, they know and like their neighbours and have joined a local political campaign group, have more money ( only one car now), eat better because of the improved shopping options and their kids are finally able to learn independence now they can use buses and pavements. I am so pleased for them, as they weren't certain about this choice.

Similarly, when I visit London, I'm always struck by the older people, students and kids enjoying the cultural and sporting opportunities ( and cheap transport).

I'm not ignorant of the issues in urban environments, especially for some people. I worked for years in children's services in an inner London borough, although I'm not convinced the issues were less in the large shire county, where social isolation can be devastating.

AIBU to think that for many, if not most people, and especially older people age families the chances of enjoying a good quality of life are better in urban/ semi rural communities, rather than trying to live the rural dream?

laquila you see, where I'm from, Norfolk ( although I grew up in Norwich), what you are describing isn't really rural living. In fact, what you are describing is pretty much the large commuter village we live in now, and it's a nice way of life, but not the typical dream rural lifestyle. It's especially nice if you have a bit of money can get about easily and work in London. I imagine it's much less appealing if that's not the case. There is a lot of hidden poverty and associated shame, I think. It does feel claustrophobic at times though, and we get bored if we don't visit London/ Cambridge quite often. That's very different to rural living in much of the UK.

Our friends find walking safer now because their old house had no pavements and street lighting. There was nowhere to walk to, so unless you fancy walking around the same three fields, it was a case of getting in the car to a country park.

I heard on the radio the other day that people who live in the countryside watch more TV than those in the town. I remember staying with my best friend as a kid, who had an amazing big house in the countryside ( pool, tennis court) and at 7pm the tv would go on, and stay in until 10. I was always a bit bemused by this, as it was very different to how after school/ work was at home. My friend became a vet but works in the centre of an Australian town, and would never live rurally with her own family.

I too am always baffled when people post something like, for example, should they take their toddler to the GP tomorrow because they have a rash . To me it’s a no brainer, of course you’d pop to the GP. But the poster says actually they’re in the middle of no where, skint and can’t drive, their husband is at work 7am-7pm due to commute and the GP surgery is a 20 minute walk to a bus stop down a road with no pavement, then a 30 minute bus ride and they have a baby and toddler to lug there and back.

Or their 13 yr old keeps missing school because they have to be out the house at 6.50am to walk to the bus stop down a lane in the snow then get an hour and a half school bus round the houses. Why would you do that to a kid ?!
What the fk do you do when you run out of milk ?!

I agree with you OP. I live in a village in the arse end of nowhere. There's a limited weekday bus service and no service at weekends. The nearest "town" which is just a larger village really but has shops, is 8 miles away (bus doesn't go there though...no-one knows why) and the nearest "proper" town is 10 miles so a car is needed as the bus takes 45 minutes to get there and costs £7 one way!! We stay with friends in Manchester and the ease with which people get about and the cost of getting anywhere from the city amazes us. The thought of still being is the village when I'm elderly depresses me as I know it will lead to isolation I really don't understand why people would want to retire to somewhere like here.

It's all about money ... you need it in the countryside, and you need it in suburbia.
It's also about preference, what is on offer in the countryside or suburbia is very different all cost money.

I absolutely loved living in the city for all the reasons you mentioned when I was younger. BUT I grew up in the country and know rural life and how to make the best of it. I'm a country girl through and through and so there is just no comparison. In fact, whenever I visit the city now I get so stressed and my anxiety levels shoot up. Too much noise, too much dirt, too many people. I love getting back to the peace and beauty of my country cottage.

Car dependency is a big minus of living in the country. With poor public transport if you became unable to drive for health reasons, you’d be fucked.

They are healthier as its now safe to walk wherever they like

@BoogleMcGroogle what do you mean, it’s “now safe”? What was unsafe about where they lived before?

I live in a commuter town with frequent trains into London. Its surrounded by countryside but the town centre is less than a mile away from where we are.DH is always planning a move further into the country whereas I like being able to walk places and know that my tween/teen can easily walk to town/school/friends houses. I know I would end up being a constant taxi if we moved out further.

dan why do you choose to live where you do? I'm not being goady. I'm genuinely interested in why people end up stuck in the countryside. I guess if you marry a farmer or have caring responsibilities that's an issue, but surely opportunities are better in the city?

It does depend on where. I used to live in the countryside in the SE - surrounded by farmland with no public footpaths.

For the last 30 years I've been in a small town on the fringes of a northern city. From our doorstep we can walk across the park opposite, or along a greenway to a nature reserve, or down a cobbled path to a huge area of wooded valley. Our children walked to school, their friends were all local, so they became independent quite young. In later teenage years they realised the advantages of getting a job so they could share a taxi home from the city centre instead of relying on the bus. Our city has a good cultural life, as do some of the neighbouring large towns.

But equally we could compare a village we know, with doctor, primary school, shops, restaurant, thriving community life; and living on the outskirts of the same city in one of the vast 1920s highly sought after residential areas, no public transport, no shops of other facilities, and a mile's walk before getting to anything remotely natural.

@BoogleMcGrooglewhat do you mean, it’s “now safe”? What was unsafe about where they lived before?

Maybe rurally there were no pavements or street lights so more limiting to go out at dusk for example, or more unsafe for children to go out alone?

I agree. We currently live 2 miles outside our local market town in the middle of a field. It's shit. I actually drive into town to walk the dog as there are better, more interesting walks there. I spend all weekend ferrying the kids about. We're selling up soon and I can't bloody wait to be in town.

Tbh having experienced plenty of both, my opinion is that it depends 100% of the area of countryside.

We moved city - > country, but I was adamant it would be:

A) Next to a school
B) No more than 5 mins in a car to a small country town with a small supermarket and a chemist.
C) No more than 30 mins commute to work for me.

So logistically it's worked out well for us.

However halfway up a mountain? FUCK THAT.

So if you plan well it can be a beneficial move - there is no antisocial behaviour around here and the kids seem to grow up slower. The teens are all still pretty unspoilt and outdoorsy.

In the city centre it was great in terms of amenities but half the time we had to get in the car anyway cos of all the junctions we had to cross. The traffic and people were bananas. We also had a v small garden and all we had within walking instance was a municipal playground which was a bit dispiriting. So the kids weren't that motivated to be outside that much.

Now we have 0.75 acres with loads of trees and they have lots of imaginative play. It has made a tangible difference and did so quite quicklywe noticed.

dongdingdong there were no pavements or streetlights and cars travelled along their road at the national speed limit. They couldn't safely walk straight out if their home and down the road, especially with kids/ dogs.

I think Rural poverty must be in a way much more soul destroying. At least in a block of flats the cold wouldn’t be as crushing, you’d have a wider variety of shops like poundland or home bargains if you need cheap nappies and wipes etc, you wouldn’t need to spend as much money on clothes and boots and waterproofs. I don’t know maybe I’m wrong but it seems that way to me

There's rural and there's 'rural' though.

My friend lives in what she considers to be a 'village'. It's got shops, a train station and it's within ten minutes drive of a major city.

I live in a village that houses 100 souls. no amenities, no transport, thirty minute drive to the nearest city.

So, yes. I love where I live, she loves where she lives, each to their own.

But equally we could compare a village we know, with doctor, primary school, shops, restaurant, thriving community life; and living on the outskirts of the same city in one of the vast 1920s highly sought after residential areas, no public transport, no shops of other facilities, and a mile's walk before getting to anything remotely natural.

I live in a small city, 1930s semi. Easy walking distance of two parks, one a big woodland park, as well as shops, Doctor, optician, hospital. Good public transport into the centre too.

I'm genuinely interested in why people end up stuck in the countryside. ... surely opportunities are better in the city? My countryside friends are there because it's far easier to indulge their passion for an activity that can only be done in the country, and they have all of them become involved in natural history and nature conservation activities. Although everyone needs a car to get around, there's a wide network of people who know each other, and all sorts of activities happening - not just conservation or activity based, but music, archaeology as well. They're getting more social contact than they would in a city, and certainly no shortage of things to do. The more you know about the countryside and natural world, the more you find there is to learn, and the more fascinating it becomes.

I think Bristol or Bath are the perfect cities with regards to city life and country life.

Loads of countryside around the cities and surrounding villages and towns. NT properties, woods, historical landscape with Roman forts ect. The cities both have lots going on, Bath has some lovely countryside pubs, Bristol has music, museums ect.

The only downside to these are the schools and transport. Its dire!

*Loads of countryside around the cities and surrounding villages and towns. NT properties, woods, historical landscape with Roman forts ect. The cities both have lots going on, Bath has some lovely countryside pubs, Bristol has music, museums

This is also true of Cardiff.

I'm genuinely interested in why people end up stuck in the countryside

Because they don’t feel they’re “stuck”? Because it’s where the want to be?

OP why do you say 'stuck' in the countryside? It can be, and is for me, a wonderful way of life and I would never in a billion years move back to the city. Or even a town. I am finally recovering from mental health problems now I can enjoy peace, nature and my close neighbours who look out for me and my family. The view from my windows just entrances me and I never get bored of it. I love hearing birds sing and seeing stars at night. People DO choose to live rurally for all kinds of reasons and it works out so tremendously for them. It can be hard yes, but so can life in a city.

Cardiff is similar to Bristol. It's a lovely city. I don't know if I would like living on the outskirts of it though. Wales has more poverty and less job opportunities. My village is between Bristol and Bath, plenty of farmers fields and country pubs, but close enough to both to not feel isolated with lots of job opportunities in my field of work.

I think there is a big continuum here - an isolated bothy miles from the nearest neighbour, to being right in the centre of a deprived City without a tree in sight, are both extreme.
OP has a point, particularly about how impractical it actually is to walk anywhere from a rural home. In a larger town / City, you will have a lot of what you need within a mile - mile and a half , so it is much easier to fit walking into your day. I remember when my friend's dc were little in the Countryside she was completely isolated - the roads didn't have pavements so to walk anywhere meant walking on the road, and then there wasn't anywhere within 6 miles to walk to. The village shop had closed, there were no activities in the Church hall - she was stuck in the house all day until they could afford a 2nd car for her to get out. That isn't healthy, and doesn't change as the little ones grow.
Beautiful view from her window, but very isolating.

I totally agree with @kalinkafoxtrot45 about not feeling the love for "retiring to the Countryside". Can't understand the reasoning in moving away from Doctors, hospitals, clinics, and public transport at a time when you are statistically most likely to be needing them the most.

dan why do you choose to live where you do?

it's the village my parents still live in and, as they are elderly, I feel it would be unfair to leave them. My Dad still drives but only during daylight hours so the thought of them being left isolated, especially this time of year doesn't sit well with me..that's the only reason I stay.