To ask how long it took for your dh / DP to recover if you ended the relationship

[Somethingsjustcomeundone]

For various reasons I am seriously considering ending my 17 year marriage.
What’s stopping me is guilt. Dh will be devestated. I want him to be ok. I know not at first but eventually. I don’t want to ruin his life.

Does it ruin lives forever? I don’t know. I feel so trapped.

Bluntly that's irrelevant. Put yourself first for a change.

If you have a good enough reason then you have to do what's right for yourself. I'm just over a year in to separation. Still not feeling any better but getting there. Do what you feel will make you happy. Good luck

Nearly 3 three years since I ended things with mine and he's still miserable and horrible towards me about it.
But then his dad still hasn't forgiven his mum for doing the same and that was nearly 30 years ago.

I agree with pp you really can't worry about that, if it is for the best then that has to be your main priority.

He was out and about meeting women within 3 months.
Don't waste your one and only life staying with him out of guilt.

They usually move on to a new pair of knickers pretty quick, as far as i have seen.

Just do it. I was paralysed by fear and guilt and spun things out for 3 years longer than I should have. He was dating within the month and married girl number 4 or 5 and they've been together for about 7 years now.

My ex met someone online within 4 months.

Apparently all his issues disappeared then cos he met the right person.

12 months on they are now split and he still has all his issues!

I have pointed out to him maybe he should actually sort himself out rather than jumping into another relationship!

There’s plenty wrong with our relationship. Not least the fact we’ve had sex twice in the last five years.
But I don’t want dh to be ruined. I want him to be happy. Just not with me. I feel horrible about it, we’ve two children. I question if I should just wait it out because of them.

Put yourself first, you deserve to be happy.