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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mixed feelings about returning to work after 3 years

8 replies

Usernamqwerty · 23/11/2019 18:13

I haven't worked since I went on maternity leave just over 3 years ago to have my son. I now have a 16mo daughter and am lucky enough to have found a local part-time job (24 hours over 4 days) and a lovely childminder.

However some days I am having kittens about the thought of leaving them (especially my youngest) to go out to work. Will they forget I'm their Mum? I love them so much, yet have really struggled with PND, exhaustion and loneliness as a SAHM. I feel really torn... I want to use my skills and find a bit of myself again and yet am worried about the effect on the kids 😩

Has anyone else felt like this? Did going back to work help? X

OP posts:
SlackerMum1 · 23/11/2019 20:30

Just think about it in terms of what’s the worst that can happen? You give it a go (a proper one as it will take 4-6 weeks for everything and everyone to settle into their new routine) and if it doesn’t work out you step back and try again in a few years. No harm done!

1Bobbinwinder · 23/11/2019 20:32

Agreed. Anecdotally lots of the mums I know who were dreading going back, actually enjoyed it the most!

Usernamqwerty · 23/11/2019 21:39

Thanks so much! X

OP posts:
Amara123 · 23/11/2019 21:47

Dreaded it terribly here. But I find it gives me back a piece of myself. Your children will still adore you, don't worry!

Neverender · 23/11/2019 21:51

I had to return to work when DD was 12 months and felt the same horrible anticipation. The first nursery taster session I walked home with her tiny coat and cried, but that's completely normal. Now she and I have a lovely relationship (she's 3 soon), and she has lots of friends and wonderful experiences. Reassure yourself that you're only thinking like this because you're a wonderful Mum, then go to work and have a cuppa and a poo on your own...it's really nice when you get used to it Flowers

Wynston · 23/11/2019 21:53

Just test the waters and see how it goes......give yourself a couple of months and then decide how its working out.
Well done on the new job!!

Usernamqwerty · 23/11/2019 22:09

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your stories xxx

OP posts:
runoutofideasnow · 23/11/2019 22:12

I went back to work 17.5 hours when ds was 2yr2mo - I was DC so torn about leaving him and by 3pm on the days I'm working I do really start to miss him.
It's been great though and hasn't affected our relationship at all. We're very close.

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