An old friend with whom I am no longer in touch decided to move out of the country leaving her three children here (2 girls and a boy) with their DF from whom she is separated. She moved away about 4 years ago.
Their DF is not a very nice individual and I am told is verbally abusive to his DC. There is always fights in the home. I was once close to the DC, they would come over to spend weekends with me but I had not seen the DC in a few years as they have grown older (Now 22 and 17) and tried to move on with their lives.
Recently the two girls have arrived at my doorstep separately.
The first was to arrive was the 17 year old who explained that there were too many arguments and fights at home she felt unsafe to live there anymore. I was concerned for her wellbeing and took her in, despite not having much room or capacity ( I have two DC of my own). I spoke to social services but they seemed unwilling to help asking instead if I could accommodate her. Social Services seemed almost deaf to the fact that this was causing stress on me and my family. I am a full time working single mother, the girl had some challenging behaviour and it wasn’t easy having her around. After 2 weeks she decided out of her own free will that she wanted to move back to the family home and convinced me that she felt safe. I spoke to her DF and he indicated to me that he loved his DD and wanted her back home. I informed Social services that she had moved back and they have been in communication with her.
About a month after the 17 year old moved back home. Her 22 year old older sister arrived at my door escorted by the police. I was asleep at the time but my DS let her in. She informed me that they had been arguments at home and her DF locked her out of the house, hence why she called the police but her DF would not let her back indoors even after the police arrived. The police advised her to contact the council and inform them she is homeless. She has a part time job at the moment and cannot afford to rent privately. She has been with me now for two weeks and has been allocated an appointment with the council for homelessness in two weeks time. I did write to and speak to the council informing them I needed her to move out immediately, I understand they have a shortage of housing but at the same time I am left in an impossible and inconvenient position of having to look after her. It is costly and disruptive to my home. We are a very quiet and close family and this situation is strange to me and my DC.
Out of concern and worry I accommodated / am accommodating them at additional cost to me. Admittedly the older sister is much better behaved and makes an ok house guest albeit still causing me additional work / cost from cooking, cleaning, additional bills etc.
I spoke to her DF who mentioned he doesn’t want her back home. I have not heard from their DM even though she is fully aware of the situation. I feel really angry towards the parents for bringing children into this world and think that it’s ok to shrug off their responsibilities. I do not want to be the one that picks up the pieces and would prefer not to be involved but feel like I have been left with no choice and I am being drugged into something I don’t want to be a part of. Their DM ended our friendship years ago without any explanation, she just cut off communication with me.
Neither parent has offered to assist financially or otherwise. Am I being unreasonable by not wanting to be involved? What would you do if you were in my position? Help please I feel completely frustrated!