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AIBU?

To find friendships really hard?

11 replies

SimpleSimonSaysU2 · 23/11/2019 14:50

In a group of 8, school mums.

I'm quiet, I find hosting difficult.

I find others meet up alot for drinks and evenings out. I see it on social media.

I find this quite difficult, I don't know why. I like it when I am out just find it hard organising things.

Am I weird to find it all overwhelming?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/11/2019 14:52

YANBU to find organising and hosting hard. Everyone does and that's why it's important to take turns doing it.

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BackforGood · 23/11/2019 15:00

What Not said.

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SimpleSimonSaysU2 · 23/11/2019 15:22

I know I should but I just can't. ☹️ I get so nervous and think no one will want to come or they will have a rubbish time. I feel like our invitations will dry up as we never return the offer. 😭

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NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/11/2019 15:25

Of course you can do it. You organise parties for your kids don't you? Well, this is the same principal.

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SimpleSimonSaysU2 · 23/11/2019 15:26

But they need childcare for nights out which costs or the kids come with them and my house is tiny / messy. I worry it won't meet their expectations.

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SimpleSimonSaysU2 · 23/11/2019 15:27

Or they will come because they feel obligated rather than actually want too.

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User3421090989098 · 23/11/2019 15:29

It’s not weird if it’s the way you feel, the only advice I have is to push yourself out of your comfort zone and ask one or two mums out for a drink

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reefedsail · 23/11/2019 15:30

8 sounds like too big of a group for you. Just find one or two friends, maybe based on who you are rather then just having kids at school together.

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NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/11/2019 15:34

But you don't have to host at home. You can host at a coffee shop or restaurant.

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Cinammoncake · 23/11/2019 15:37

YANBU. I think a lot of people feel like this, in fact I bet out of the 8 you're not the only one

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BackforGood · 23/11/2019 17:23

Bit confused about what is making this difficult.

Is it a worry they won't like your house?
Is it literally that your living room is only 3'6 x 8'?
Is it that you are totally disorganised and struggle to remember to book something ?

I don't know how often you all meet, but why not say - when you are all together - "I've not organised one yet. My house is a bit small for such a large group but while we are all here, lets get diaries out and I'll book a pub meal for us all one night" or whatever.
Or all agree you will always meet on the 3rd Wed in the month so you don't have dates to sort but everyone takes turns in booking something for you to do ??

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