To think this is not on?

[passthetea]

Exdp and I separated in August it's very amicable and was a joint decision to split.
We have an arrangement that he has our DD's every other weekend Friday- Sunday except he's never had them fri-sun yet because somethings always come up, he moved out and got his own place in September and I gave him some time to get his flat in order plus he had a holiday (was booked a year before so I knew it was happening) when all was sorted and he was home he had them sat-sun and every time it's been his weekend he has texted to say he's working the Saturday he's got them so can't have them until he's home which is anything between 2-3pm. By the time he's showered and got over here it's around 4pm then he brings them home about 3/4 on the Sunday.

This week Has been a nightmare what with my boiler breaking and my youngest being poorly I've had no sleep and I'm quite exhausted from the constant demands from 2 young kids and 3 teenagers.

Ex texted me Wednesday to say he has to work on Saturday (today) and can have the kids after work til Sunday, this has really pissed me off not only because I'm exhausted stressed and fed up but because his parents are having them Sunday so he will only have them for such a short time while I'm here do the brunt of the parenting. I noticed he paid me a little extra last night in Maintenance and he's probably done it so I have less to moan about. Aibu to feel like this? I called him yesterday to talk about a different issue and we got on the conversation about him having the kids and I told him how unfair he's being especially as I have 3 teenagers and I'd like to be able to plan something with them and take them out but how can I when he's so unreliable. I've told him to work the Saturdays that he doesn't have the kids but he says he needs the money, which I get but he didn't work that many Saturdays when we were living together and struggling

So He has been home since 12. I texted him at 1 asking when he was getting the kids and he said 3pm because he needs to do a few things pissed is an understatement.

Thing is he works this hard to provide for us all, we are doing Xmas presents together rather than separately and he will put more money in than me . He's not greedy with money and will help me out if I need it. It's just that I need a break, I'm mummed out, touched out, and talked out, I'm done with the demands of small children. I NEED A BREAK!!!

It sounds like you have a reasonable rapport with him so a conversation seems feasible. Its one thing for him to be working all the time 'for you' when you're together but now you're not so things have to change. As he's self employed its perfectly straightforward to arrange his time to fit in with childcare and if a one off comrs up then he sorts childcare that isnt you. I work ft as a single parent. Childcare is arranged by me and extra occasions when i have to work weekends, my parents cover, as it sounds like his would. You are entitled to a life 4 days out of 30 and those 4 days nred to be set in stone. Too many NRPs get into a habit of only seeing the kids when everything else is done. It becomes the case that the kids have to fit round their life rather than life fitting round the kids which is what most RPs do.