To not want mil to have DS alone

[Yellowsub555]

My mil is somewhat a difficult character.
There are many little things that have added up to me not wanting her to have him while we're at work...
DS is 1 year old.
She has no concern for my routine and the needs of DS, she does what she likes when she likes.
Ie... taking him out in the pram at 3.30pm, 2 hours later OH is texting me panicking that she still isn't back with him, it's dark, it's freezing, her phone is going straight to answerphone.
Or giving him while grapes... As long as they are peeled, that's OK...wtf.!?

I try to tell her and she just talks over me and doesn't listen to the way I'd like things done.

Tbh - is rather he went into nursery than mil to have him.
I know this is going to cause issues... My mum has him one day of the week, but of course if trust my mum 100% with him and she doenst so silly things putting him at risk.
So AIBU???

No. You know you can’t trust her. You’ll probably get replies saying well she managed to bring your partner up but that’s irrelevant.

It might be awkward but nursery will be better. Going awol with your baby was inexcusable and if it panicked your partner hopefully he’s on side.

He is on side, and agrees with me, but he also doesn't like to rock the boat! 😬
I could argue that there are some issues with her boys (I love him all the same, but ya know!)

Oh and the sarcastic comments about us as she talks to DS, drives me potty. Passive aggressive, just no need.
He doesn't understand now but he will one day.

The grapes would do it for me

How your very precious child is cared for and by whom is worth rocking the boat over more than anything else. You both know it wouldn’t work so it’s not worth trying. If she really cared for your baby she’d be as bothered about his mum and dad being happy. It’s horrible that she’s not but nothing you can do about it.

You need to tackle her shitty comments each and every time and don’t let her have him on her own. She sounds extremely unpleasant.

I don’t know how your relationship was before you had your son but it sadly often happens that dynamics change when the next generation appears. He’s YOUR child. If she can’t be respectful and decent she can’t be around him.