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To feel like giving up

4 replies

Lellikelly26 · 22/11/2019 20:45

I’ve worked hard for years to qualify into a profession. I had an incredibly stressful time while training. I’m now newly qualified but am finding it so tough. I’m really suffering from imposter syndrome and social anxiety feeling like my colleagues feel I’m not up to it. When some of them are nice to me I worry it’s because others have been negative about me. If I joke around I’m worried I’m not serious and professional enough. On top of that I still feel a bit out of my depth with some tasks, lack confidence when on reflection I had the right answers and agonise over tricky tasks in fear of messing up.
I’m starting to think this career is not for me. WIBU to quit having invested years and lots of money in qualifying or should I give it a bit more time. Anyone else been through anything similar?

OP posts:

grandmainmypocket · 22/11/2019 21:05

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time.

I would say that it sounds like you're feeling low in confidence. Have you tried speaking to a friend to get perspective?
It's natural to feel imposter syndrome from time to time. I'm sure your colleagues are not thinking anything about you, but when it feels stressful our thinking can change.

In relation to your main question - its fine to change professions. I've had a couple of different professions due to circumastance. Don't feel caged in, but I would say don't rush. Take your time, get a break and work on your confidence.


damekindness · 22/11/2019 21:16

I'm quite senior and have been so for years in my profession and there's not a day that goes by when I don't feel like an imposter - I'm constantly waiting for a tap on the shoulder telling me I'm going to be sacked for incompetence. I lie awake at nights ruminating about how everyone at work either hates me or finds my obvious incompetence hilarious. My incredibly thin skin and overactive imagination conspires to give me occasional overwhelming anxiety

This is a really common but rarely acknowledged state of mind for many outwardly successful women. Persevere, talk to someone about the way you feel, find strategies to cope, it does get easier over time - but you have to weigh up whether you can live with those feelings and if the benefits of your profession are enough to compensate.

Be kind to yourself


Lellikelly26 · 22/11/2019 21:50

Thank you so much @grandmainmypocket and @damekindness I appreciate the kind words.
In a (maybe perverse) way it helps so much to know other people experience the same things. I suspect that a lot of industries are fairly cut throat which doesn’t help. @damekindness same as you with the thin skin and over active imagination my DH says I should write novels (he may be on to something)

OP posts:

DoubleHelix79 · 22/11/2019 21:57

Please don't give up your career. It's incredibly common and the best strategy (at least for me) is to just acknowledge it as background noise and carry on with doing the job.

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