To wonder if anybody else is in this position?

[fadedafternoons]

I have an adult child with special needs. His needs are not such that he qualifies for (or would accept) additional help, but they are severe enough to completely cut him off from the world, if that isn’t too paradoxical.

I have no idea what he’s going to do and I am desperately worried.

I wondered if anyone else was in the same boat with their adult or near adult son/daughter.

Faded - I understand what you mean. My ds18 doesn't like to accept any help either. The promised overnight independent living help hasn't materialized because the charity that would have provided it have closed that service. There is now a minimal offering that may be helpful or it could be a hindrance.

If it doesn't work out as a beneficial experience then I will just say thank you but no thank you.

He's currently in his 2nd year at College - his first year was a complete failure, so he's doing a different course now.

You are not being negative, it's all very well people with 'positive' experiences stating you are, or those that come from a well-meaning working perspective saying you are but you're not; this is the life your ds and you are leading, and you are just realistically describing it.

My son sounds a little bit like your son
When he was at school he has extra help due to his dyslexia and dyspraxia and he had a scribe for his exams
He worked at MacDonald’s part time from 15 till he left college at 20 which I think really helped him build his confidence and work ethic

He then got a job working in casual security starting off doing marshalling for a few big clubs and he did his door safe badge which took him three attempts and then worked in nightclubs and at lots of the big festivals like Reading and Glastonbury

He’s now worked for the same company now for 4 years and is an extremely trusted member of staff to the point that his boss trust him with the weekend takings of thousands of pounds ;
( I wouldn’t be that trusting but obviously his boss thinks highly of him 😂)
When his boss gets a new contract my son is often sent in to suss it out and see if it’s what they want or if they get new staff my son works with them to ensure they are doing the work properly .

But when he was younger I honestly didn’t think he would ever get a job due to his mild learning disability and being severely dyslexic and also being a bit vulnerable in that he would believe what anyone told him.

He is 25 now and although I can’t really see him
leaving home any time soon he has passed his driving test ( took him 3 times ) has a new car works full time and has a pretty good social life

Far far more than what I ever thought he would have when he was a teenager . I really couldn’t imagine him doing much.
So don’t give up my son definitely couldn’t work in an office or somewhere that would require him to do lots of paperwork and admin or work on a phone in a call centre but he loves security work and last summer spent six weeks in Spain as his boss had a contract for a club and wanted someone he could trust to work in the club

Similar position, complete lacking in social skills or any understanding of the nuances of conversation, although not autistic. I have to accept that he may never be financially fully independent, and focus on the fact that he is a decent human being and there are some parts of his life that he does enjoy.

Google your council and ‘local offer’ you should find that any clubs etc which might be appropriate for him might be listed there.

In our local area there is an autism charity and they run social events for adults with autism and parents of autistic children/adults too. Sometimes in the pub, sometimes elsewhere but socialising with people who find it equally difficult and also understand.