MIL battling my parenting

[mumsince2018]

We moved into DH's parents around 2 months ago, they are really welcoming and we have settled in well. Anyway his mum has a tendency to battle my parenting. For example I'll give my son a toy (he's 20 months) and she will take it away from him saying it's not safe or her husband will give him a toy and she will say the same to him and it will annoy me because I wouldn't of let him have the toy if it wasn't safe! She's also been bugging me to get my son potty trained. He's not ready at all and it something I fell strongly about because I know if your force a child into potty training when they're not ready it can put them off of it. Anyway so she came home from work last night with a potty she had brought and tried sitting my son on to it he wasn't interested so walked off. He started to poo and she went to my husband 'quick get him on the potty!' And he turned round and said 'no mum he's not ready' and she went off in a huff. I just feel really inferior around her and I can't disagree with what she says. To be honest she scares me a little! I'm just getting little fed up and the thought of staying here for the next year or two makes me anxious because of it. Am I being petty or would this annoy you aswell?

Just move out. You could get a job and rent would be more affordable.

Op she's reverting to treating your partner, her son, as a child because that's the dynamic she's always had. There's no magic switch which means she'll start treating you or him as functional independent adults because by being unable to stand on your own feet financially it sort of confirms that you're not a true family unit that can sustain itself without heavy duty outside help.

And that's before I even address the "parenting her grandchildren" thing.

The whole dynamic here isn't worth the £500 /mth you'll save over the next two years. Is £12k saved on rent really worth sacrificing your independence and formative toddler years on...?

You'd be better looking for a job and moving out.

Become an adult again.

Change the situation to one where you can truly say "thanks for the input but we're not doing that" and actually have the power to control the situation.

You don't have that control when you live with your or his parents.

Maybe you don't, but you certainly have the right to it.

Her house, and therefore her decisions about the house. But your child, and your decisions about him. The only instance I see for that not being true is if your child damages her things which she has bought eg furnishings and carpeting etc.

I think you both may be happier living elsewhere, however. I'm not going to make moralistic comments about your choice to parent, as I don't know anything about it.

Oh mumsince didn't you realise that you're single handedly responsible for everything that's wrong in the UK?!

Such power at only 21, imagine what havoc you can cause in a lifetime

Good luck with the MIL, I really seriously doubt anyone's DC was potty trained by 1

I had an Aunt like this. When dd was 1 she asked when i was going to potty train and i said 2 and she said "2!!!!!!!" as if it was shockingly late. Luckily i was able to laugh it off as i didnt have to live with her, and my other Aunt pointed out that her eldest got severe constipation as a toddler so her early potty training wasn't plain sailing!

I agree about showing her NHS guidelines

I think if you're annoyed by her after 2 months, it is not going to get any better. Is there really no where cheaper you can rent? Can you get a job when your DH is not working so you don't have to pay for childcare?