Me again. Calling on all survivers of mental cruelty...

[OhioOhioOhio]

Please give me tips on how to quickly move on in my mindset from the abuse I get in the weekly contact I have to have.

Anyone?

It's like I just break free and he pushes me back down. Its endless and exhausting.

Why do you have to have contact? For the DC?

Following! I am coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship with my narcissistic exP. I find no contact is best. We have a young DS together so I talk to him about that via text. I blocked him from messaging me on all other forms of social media and messaging apps as it was easier for him to bombard me and get inside my head - the breaking point was a panic attack at work - and this seems to be working for me. If he messages about DS I reply, if it's about anything I ignore, do not respond. I also used to allow contact at my house due to various reasons, now he comes and collects and drops off here, taking DS out for the day. Much more practical and healthier for all involved.

You don't have to be friends just be civil and communicate when necessary.

We don't even do that. He writes his abuse down and hands it to me littered with fictional information about the kids.

Have you tried CBT? It works by changing the way you think about things, and so affects the way you react to them. It's helped me a lot, but I did put a lot of effort into it.

If he's abusing you via written stuff, you could ask a trusted friend to read it and give you any useful information out of it. Keep his written comments, though, as they might come in handy later.

I second having someone proof read whatever he writes to you

I think I’d report the malicious letters as harassment to the police, you have the evidence written down.

Is this in a contact book?

Then stop that. He’s using it as a weapon so remove the weapon from him. Let him work things out for himself