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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newborn helpppp

20 replies

Thetirednessisreal · 21/11/2019 21:24

Hey just posting for traffic

I have just had twins they are amazing and ten days old

They have their days and nights mixed up so I am exhausted. When I bring them to bed at night they grunt constantly it doesn’t stop what can I do? Also how do I sort out these days and nights

OP posts:
ClairParavel · 21/11/2019 22:16

Congratulations on the birth of your twins!

It takes a while for babies to learn the difference between day and night, at least 2-3 months. You can encourage this by making it dark and quiet in the room overnight etc but tbh at 10 days old there’s just no point I think- they’re so so little still, they’re just doing what is instinctive to them, and they need to feed every couple of hours or so. Do you have help? Partner or family?

It’s also surprising how noisy they can be when the do sleep. From memory this also gets better around the 8-12 week mark. I’m not sure what you can do about this- they’re noisy little things.

You just need to roll with this time and survive it. Get all the help you can so you can rest whenever possible.

It’s a hard time but also a wonderful one. Hope

OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 21/11/2019 22:21

My little boy is 12 days old. He sleeps very well during the day but really likes to be awake at night especially if in the next to me/moses basket. Maybe you could settle them on you and your partner first the put them down. We do this and it works. But he has to be in a really deep sleep first otherwise he just wakes up again.

However like PP says it is normal for them to not have a sleep pattern. I'm right there with you.

Sayhellotothethings · 21/11/2019 22:25

It took my baby a couple of months to work out her day and night. Patience is key I'm afraid. In the mean time, feed them when needed through the night and enjoy your bubbas! :)

Pilotage1302 · 21/11/2019 22:31

We put all or ours in their own rooms from the beginning. Yes, it might have been traumatic as they would have been used to being rocked around inside you, but we never stopped the "noise" of daily life, of which they all would have been aware in utero.
Other than that, very different behaviour regarding feeding during the day and during the night.
Maybe we were lucky, but all started sleeping through from 6 weeks and are good sleepers (anytime, any place, anywhere) ;-)

bumpysleighridejack · 21/11/2019 22:32

Hi there, just to say I'm up with my 3 week old who just wants to be on me at the moment. This is my 2nd DC so I know this stage passes and I'm afraid you do just have to ride it out, they're still adjusting to not being inside you. Have you got a partner to help? Make sure you're using white noise and keep things quiet and dark at night, then during the day lights on and noisy and go out (even a walk round the block.) good luck and as hard as it is enjoy cos they grow so fast!

Boobiliboobiliboo · 21/11/2019 22:34

Fourth trimester. They should still be inside you.

And definitely not in their own rooms. Hmm

PlutoAjder · 21/11/2019 22:37

NHS sudden infant death syndrome advice is to keep them in your room while sleeping for the first six months.

Posters should NOT be suggesting you break with well regarded safety advice without heavy duty caveats, that's really fucking irresponsible and just because your baby is fine, it's not a helpful or particularly good suggestion here.

AlmostAlwyn · 21/11/2019 22:40

Ah the grunting! My baby was so noisy after he was born! My mum said, "oh that's normal. It'll just last 18 months or so" Shock But don't worry! It didn't! He quietened down after a few weeks.

The night/day will settle too. You've got this! You are doing an amazing job! Flowers

PathOfLeastResitance · 21/11/2019 22:41

The guidance about them being in with you is quite clear and evidence based.

They’re so noisy - grunts and squeaks and the freaky no noise breathing thing, which is worse.
The day-night confusion works it self out over time. From my hazy memory my little boy took about 6 weeks.

Original poster
Thetirednessisreal · 21/11/2019 22:42

I couldn’t put them in their own room I’d never settle

It’s the constant noise I have a 5 year old so I can’t do the you sleep when they do school run still needs Done lol

Partner is v supportive but back to work next week which is shift work so he won’t be here some nights when they are v tough going

OP posts:
imnotarunnerivetried · 21/11/2019 22:59

We're your twins premature? Mine were a few weeks early and I was told the grunting happens with prem babies. My midwife says it stops 4 weeks past term. I read up about it and someone said one day you will just realise they have stopped doing it - and it's true!

crystal1717 · 21/11/2019 23:12

You're doing wonderfully OP. Congratulations on your babies and well done.
My advice would be, dont panic about patrner going back to work, a week away is a long time. Babies will be over 2 weeks by then. Also partner will be home in evening / shifts? and you'll soon settle into it, after school run you'll have all day and it can be very peaceful routine. See friends / go to groups if you like but don't if it's too much. Enjoy your babies, dont put too much pressure on yourself, dont do too much housework (see dust poem), rest or sleep in school day when baby sleeps. Watch jeremy vine :) It'll be fine! I quite miss that time of my life.

happymrsc · 21/11/2019 23:21

Congratulations! Sorry you're finding it tough though. No advice to help I'm afraid but wanted to say (so you don't think you're doing something wrong or that it's for no reason) that the fact they wake up so regularly and don't sleep deeply is a massive protective factor for SIDS so even though it's incredibly tough it does make your babies safer. That said, I hope they settle a bit more for you soon but realistically it will be a good while before they sleep through - everyone has different definitions of that mind! Take care.

Original poster
Thetirednessisreal · 22/11/2019 01:35

So we just got two hours of sleep in bed before they woke for a feed I am now settling one on my chest before I will set her down. It’s lovely

But that two hours was bliss Grin

OP posts:
ActualHornist · 22/11/2019 01:42

Oh boy. My twins are nearly 11, newborn days are a very hazy memory!

My advice would genuinely be to take it easy. Try and sleep when you can. Become a bit nocturnal yourself if necessary!

Congrats. I miss little babies!

DankGraveGhouls · 22/11/2019 05:24

Massive respect to mums of twins, that has got to be so intense. What I'd suggest is your partner doing 'night shift" Friday and Saturday nights so you can bank a decent night's sleep, assuming you're not breastfeeding. If you are breastfeeding then perhaps you can do the feed and he can take care of any resettling/burping/changing?

Maybe if it's possible walk to school- fresh air will help them sleep, if they're still asleep when you get home keep them in their buggy and crash out on the sofa?

You'll find your groove x

Tobebythesea · 22/11/2019 05:41

Congratulations Flowers

I have a 14 week old who was so so noisy but like others have said, this doesn’t last forever and one day you realise it’s stopped.

Where they prem? Sometimes grunting is a sign of reflux.

Allyo19 · 22/11/2019 06:44

I don't have twins. I can't imagine!
But my advice is doing the minimum at home for a few weeks, drop your standards, take help from anyone who offers it when they visit, and get the food shop delivered.
If you aren't breastfeeding, i also recommend taking shifts with your partner. I go to bed early, my husband covers til midnight, then i do wake ups until morning.

Mijnje · 22/11/2019 07:00

The best way to teach them the difference between day and night is to keep all lights off during the night (even during feeds) and to keep all lights on during the day (even during naps).

Cornettoninja · 22/11/2019 07:27

It helps to set their body clocks straight if you expose them to daylight - easier said than done this time of year (I had a December baby) and with twins. Even just bundling them up and sitting in your garden for half an hour will help if you can manage it and all curtains open all day, don’t be tempted to try and make the room dark when they’re asleep.during the day.

The grunting is normal and I learned to find it reassuring eventually but it does calm down.

Congratulations on your babies Flowers

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