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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else find their name weird?

42 replies

MissMarpletheMurderer · 21/11/2019 20:47

I have an unusual name but I don't think that IS IT. When people use my name,especially in writing I feel disconnected from the word and me, like we are not the same. Have I lost it or do others feel the same?

OP posts:
Reallybadidea · 21/11/2019 21:56

I feel the same way, it just doesn't seem like my name. I once had a summer job where there were already 2 people working there with my name, so I chose a different one (the one my mum said she had intended to use for me) and for the first time in my life, it felt 'right'.

I also don't feel right about my married name and I'm actually planning on going back to my unmarried name in the new year after 20 years of marriage!

draughtycatflap · 21/11/2019 22:00

”I have a very run of the mill, 80s name that many girls also had at my school. It just feels so blah, always has done. Paired with a truly dreadful, tease-worthy maiden name I think I’ve always had a real disconnect from it”

The 1880s? Fanny Gripcock, is that you?

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/11/2019 22:07

I'm not keen on my first name and never have been. It's not hugely common but neither is it unusual or 'out there'.

I don't really know why I don't like it but I never have. Even in school, I didn't like hearing it out loud Hmm

I would actually prefer to use my middle name but I think my parents would be upset.

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 21/11/2019 22:17

I’ve always loved my first name but don’t think it goes with my surname. It sounds too short and sharp. It doesn’t sound right when I say it to somebody over the phone and I feel disconnected in that way.

Thankfully my fiancé’s surname is longer and suits it much better. But I’m sure using a different surname will feel alien for a long long time when we finally get married!

Maverick66 · 21/11/2019 22:30

I hate saying my own name.
My name has 10 letters and most people with my name go by the shortened version of it with 6 letters. I hate the shortened version and NEVER call my self by it but most people assume this is the version I use 🤷‍♀️

FreedomfromPE · 21/11/2019 22:30

I actually struggle to remember someone's name if it is my name. Because that name is kind of odd to me. I am not sure I am the same person. When I was young obviously it was said a lot. Right now I am a sahm so I very rarely hear my name and I feel disconnected from the child me, when I heard my name lots. My name is very normal. I notice a lot more if someone has my maiden name than my current surname or my meaningless first name.

littlealexhorne · 21/11/2019 22:30

Wow I'm so glad this isn't just me! My name is fairly popular so it isn't an unusualness thing, and I actually have the same problem with my surname too. I hate seeing my full name unless my middle name is included, and I hate anyone addressing me by name whether face to face or over text, it really makes my feel uncomfortable but I've no idea why. It isn't really a name I can shorten/nickname either annoyingly.

SadForNoReason · 21/11/2019 23:03

Yeeees! Totally! I do love my name, but it doesn't suit me at all! When people use it, it does feel a bit weird! And yes, I feel.diaconnected from it! I wouldn't change it though! I'm quite fond of it!!

overwork · 21/11/2019 23:16

I have a fairly common name and share it with my partners sister. For the first year we were together he struggled to call me by my name as it felt odd to him, and now he's got over it, when I hear him call me by name it does sound weird. I don't think I feel like that when other people say it though!

LilacTreeShades · 21/11/2019 23:45

I absolutely detest my name and hate it when I have to say it out loud. My middle name is slightly worse so I can't use that instead.
It is hideously fogey and old fashioned and I have never met anybody else my age or younger called that. When I was at high school in the 1980's there was a tv presenter called the same name and a lot of people thought it was hilarious to call me by her full name.
My dm knows I hate and she says she always liked it. Even her name is better than mine. It was the name of a cousin of hers, who was the same age as her.

MrsToothyBitch · 22/11/2019 01:04

I think my name is quite ugly. It's got a 3 letter word in it & once seen you can't unsee it (like 'man' in 'SaMANtha' but not that). It's just not pretty.

Wherecanwegetoff123 · 22/11/2019 01:12

Hate mine. Hate the spelling too. DH hardly uses my name. Always darling etc. So when he does it takes me back a bit and I end up not hearing what he is saying. I hate to hear it. However I know many others with the same name and don't feel weird calling them by it. I have one friend who says my name a lot when she's talking and that doesn't bother me. Maybe I'm just used to her saying it...?

PapayaCoconut · 22/11/2019 01:16

I don't dislike my name, but I absolutely cannot stand it when my DH uses it. It just sounds wrong. I don't like to call him by his name either, even though I think it's a really nice name.

Butterflycookie · 22/11/2019 01:31

Yes definitely. My name is pronounced differently at home. But outside home when my name gets said in an “English” way it just feels so weird. I don’t even like saying my name Blush

Elle7rose · 22/11/2019 01:41

I really like my name but it sounds like it's not me, in the same way you describe OP but then I don't think another name would be 'me' either. It's like your essence isn't reduced to a name!

I have a long name that can be shortened to various nicknames (think Elizabeth- Lizzy, Beth) but the one which I am referred to most often has different spellings (Lizzy, Lizzie, Lizi) and I think the fact that I haven't chosen one spelling to stick to also makes a difference- like my name can be the long version or various shortened versions rather than just one name? Very confusing! but then I also don't really think the version of me I see in the mirror looks like me either!

dontgobaconmyheart · 22/11/2019 01:54

Yes OP, absolutely. I would go so far as to say I find it a little emotionally uncomfortable to have to say my own name or hear it read out (doctors waiting room etc). As though I know it's mine and respond to it but fairly regrettably with a slight resentment if I thought about it more deeply. The name isn't unusual or embarrassing, i just don't feel a resonance with it and don't feel it fits me, it feels restrictive.

In all honesty I have wondered before if it boils down to a difficult childhood and an overbearing DM. That I associate it as something she chose for me, that it and it's a hold over me. Obviously intellectually I know that is false but emotionally, I don't know- I can't think what else it might be.

Nonetheless I plan to change it!

anxioussue · 22/11/2019 01:55

I don't relate to my name at all, in my head I'm a different name.

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