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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be able to get this news story out of my head ***trigger warning***

61 replies

ethelfleda · 21/11/2019 19:49

I didn’t even hear about it at the time, only on radio 4 the other day after the accused was sentenced to prison for manslaughter. There was no warning before the new story and I fell to pieces when I heard it.
I just stupidly googled the story because I can’t stop thinking about it and I feel sick and and incredibly emotional.

It was the man that killed Alfie Lamb by crushing him to death with his electric car seat.

Does this happen to you?? I feel overwhelmingly like I need to do something about it in a weird way, but what??

What is wrong with people Sad

OP posts:
Gangrenethatmightwork · 21/11/2019 21:45

He cried out for his Mum while it was happening, that's what upset me. As if you could just sit there (he was in the footwell of her seat) and let it happen.

ethelfleda · 21/11/2019 21:47

When I read the last news story, the part where they said he was holding on to his mum’s little finger when he died, just absolutely shattered me.
The poor little boy, reaching out for the one human that was supposed to protect him.
I hope they both burn in hell. I’m quite overwhelmed by the amount of hatred I feel for them both.

OP posts:
cannycat20 · 21/11/2019 21:50

I don't have my own kids but I am an aunt (great aunt now!) and I have found as I've got older I get much more upset by these stories than in my 20s or 30s.

I think the sentence is disgustingly short. I hope both the mother and the boyfriend suffer for the rest of their hopefully utterly miserable lives.

tensmum1964 · 21/11/2019 21:57

I often read or hear about a news story involving child abuse and struggle to get it out of my mind. I was driving home from work the other day and heard about the parents that killed two of their children in Sheffield. The sadness and horror of it is still playing on my mind.

Phrowzunn · 21/11/2019 22:04

I totally agree, these things plague me, especially now I have children. It’s a feeling almost like desperate regret that you couldn’t help them, if you had been there you could and would have stopped it.
One that has been torturing me recently is the case of Rui Pedro as highlighted in the Netflix documentary about Maddy. I won’t detail in case you don’t want to know (I wish I didn’t) but I don’t know how his mum carries on, knowing about those pictures. Could there be anything worse than seeing evidence that something absolutely horrific happened to your child but having no way to comfort them, not knowing what happened next, if they are alive or dead. I just can’t stop thinking about it, it pervades my thoughts and you can’t help but apply it to your own children.

Oysterbabe · 21/11/2019 22:13

One that has been torturing me recently is the case of Rui Pedro as highlighted in the Netflix documentary about Maddy.

Yes me too. I looked up the case and read about it after watching the Maddie documentary and it's just so awful.

Clearnightsky · 21/11/2019 22:14

I know I felt like I could see it happen before my eyes, it’s just awful. I do feel like I want to reach out and stop these nasty horrific things happening in the world, and I feel almost like I can feel the boys fear and it makes me absolutely rage.

I know it makes me quite ‘on it’ parental wise - I am the one who posts on boards saying don’t leave your kids on their own when you go to the shops, don’t be a lax parent who lets the low level stuff go on, because that is how it starts and the higher level stuff can creep in.

Sorry rant over. Awful. Sad

KittenLedWeaning · 21/11/2019 22:17

I don't have children (by choice) but I was haunted by Alfie Lamb's story after first reading it. It made me feel angry that someone could have such disregard for a young life.

readysteadylook · 21/11/2019 22:17

*When I read the last news story, the part where they said he was holding on to his mum’s little finger when he died, just absolutely shattered me.
*
This is too painful to read.

BeverlyGoldbergsHairAndJumpers · 21/11/2019 22:18

www.gov.uk/ask-crown-court-sentence-review
This is a link someone put on another thread about this.

worriedmumtoteen · 21/11/2019 22:24

They were both disgusting, evil people and deserved a lot more years in jail. Vile.

BertieBotts · 21/11/2019 22:27

This has upset me, and the chip shop murder trial as well (does not involve a child, just a nasty event)

Reading about child abuse in any way always floors me because I see my kids, and I see the light in their eyes and the way they laugh and smile while being kissed or hugged or played with, which is just so normal for them, and I just think - what a different life my kids have and how lucky they are. And I am so so grateful that they do not live a life in fear.

cannycat20 · 21/11/2019 22:27

@BeverlyGoldbergsHairAndJumpers Thank you for that link, it's incredibly useful.

I never knew until now only one person needs to ask for a sentence to be reviewed. It might not change the sentence, and he'll probably still get out early for toeing the line and being a good boy (when people are watching anyway) but it's worth a try.

MaxNormal · 21/11/2019 22:28

Seven years?? How can that be right? So out in what, three or four years, for deliberately and maliciously crushing a tiny, terrified child to death?

joystir59 · 21/11/2019 22:36

Beyond awful. I cannot read the details again.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 21/11/2019 22:40

I'm a school,governor. I'm also childless. I'm the safeguarding lead for the governing body because the parents "couldn't face it because it was too upsetting".

I had no words.

NightsOfCabiria · 21/11/2019 22:41

I knew this would be about Alfie Lamb.

I dont have children but it still affects me, much in the same way that elder-abuse and animal cruelty does. I read about a dog cruelty case yesterday that left me speechless in the cold, calculated way that the ‘dispatch’ was carried out.

I just find it baffling that a) anyone would do that so casually and b) why do these people always seem to have loving families?

Angela9 · 21/11/2019 22:47

That is just so devastating. I can't even. I'm going to go hug my kids now.

CaptainNelson · 21/11/2019 23:12

Isn't the man/murderer's father an ex-MP? Could that have something to do with his short sentence?
The other story that made me shake the other day was the couple, who are also half-siblings, who tried to poison their 6 kids; when that failed, they strangled the 2 eldest and tried to drown the others. The reason? They were afraid the children were going to be taken into care.
Words fail me.

SuckingDieselFella · 21/11/2019 23:14

He isn't an MP's son. The MP adopted him and now they are estranged. So that would have nothing to do with it.

Child killers don't have a good time in prison. The sentence is far too short but let's hope it will be miserable.

VenusTiger · 21/11/2019 23:26

Anything to do with cruelty to animals or children and I’m beside myself until I can force myself into thinking about something else OP.
Since, I’ve become a headline reader so I can pick and choose what I read. Call me ignorant but like you I’m incredibly sensitive. I always wonder if there’s something I can do - then hurt turns to disgust. It’s why I love my family and animals the most.

LightsInOtherPeoplesHouses · 21/11/2019 23:26

It would always have upset me, but since having children it is different because I see either my child or myself in that situation. And I don't get how people can do this or allow it because my child being hurt causes me pain, and it does almost seem like genuine physical pain. And he looks at me with so much trust...

I don't understand it and it breaks my heart.

SimpleAndPlanned · 21/11/2019 23:35

Yes that story made me feel physically sick.

When i think of the hours of research and cash I've put in to buying car seats and she sat and let her little boy be crushed to death. It makes you feel so helpless. That poor little one.

Dongdingdong · 21/11/2019 23:42

It’s horrendous and makes me so, so angry. Both of the scumbag adults should be locked up for life.

sallyfox · 21/11/2019 23:57

Some inmates may do everything they can to try to kill or maim Stephen Waterson and Adrian Hoare, even though they are, doubtless, in segregation, in their respective prisons. When they come out of prison, they may have to change their identities and move a VERY long way away. Some people will NEVER forget what they did.