Mumsnet Logo
My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to be upset?

13 replies

FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 20/08/2007 18:35

I know what you're all going to say....MOVE OUT! I've got somewhere fabulous and far away to move in at the end of September so I've got to stay put with the first class w*nkers for just a little longer.

Here's what happened that made me justifiably or unjustifiably upset. You tell me if I'm overreacting.

My mothers husband does NOTHING around the house. He's hoovered once since he's been here in April and trims the hedges in our small front garden once every 2 months but apart from that...nothing!

Today, out of the blue my mum said to me "you know (INSERT HER HUSBANDS NAME) does more than you around the house. Tell me the last thing you did."

I was confused as I do more than my fair share of housework so I said "What, today?" as I have just got back from travelling this morning and I have a terrible pain in my hip. She said "I mean every day. {HUSBAND} is an absolute star. He does everything. You do nothing" I was shocked! I do housework EVERY DAY. More than half and more than my fair share. The house is never unclean by anyones standards. So I challenged her and said "So tell me the last thing [HUSBAND] did and when he did it". She just laughed a cruel laugh a la witch style and looked away. This man is an idiot and just sat there and didn't say a word while I was having this said to me.
This man does not work and has everything bought for him by my mum including a car and 2 return trips back his country. He demands my mum to make tea and basically wait on him hand and foot so I'm upset she said this. They also have very noisy sex so I can hear which would be strictly forbidden in his muslim household. Even affection that can be seen or heard in public in his muslim country is frowned upon and I hope for a little of the same respect while he's here but NO...I GET NONE!!!

Even though I was so against her marrying himlike the rest of our family, I was the only one who went to the wedding from our entire family and I was the one she cried on in the early days when he was refused his visa. Now he's here she and he are making my life hell. I just got back this afternoon from a fanstatic holiday too, wasn't depressed once and already I am crying!

aM i BEING UNREASONABLY upset regarding the comment she made? Sorrythis has turned into an essay!

OP posts:
Report

NomDePlumeIsAShoeWhore · 20/08/2007 18:39

I'm sorry.

GROW UP and roll on Sept. Living with your Mum appears to have made you regress back to your teenaged years, your posts on this subject read like those of a frustrated 16yo.

Your Mum is obv lost on planet DH. You are old enough to stand on your own two feet, if she is happy and he is happy and they are in their own home then there is nothing you can say or do to change things. Whether he is using her or not.

Report

hoolagirl · 20/08/2007 18:45

Ugh, poor you.
Just grin and bear it just now, at least there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Report

Chloe55 · 20/08/2007 18:46

I can understand your frustration but,as they say, love is blind. I think you should just leave it and look forward to moving out - anything you do say is not gonna change her attitude by the sounds of things.

Report

Carmenere · 20/08/2007 18:51

Fairy - just say 'yeh, sure, no problem'. They don't really want you in the middle of their revolting honeymoon period and you will be gone soon enough. Where are you going btw?

Report

FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 20/08/2007 20:58

Hello, thanks all for your replies. NomDePlume...I am standing on my own two feet and I do act like a woman of my age thanks very much but do you know how it is...NO. You aren't bullied by these 2 b*stards day in, day out. I don't want sympathy at all if that's how it's coming across but i'm just telling it how it is.

Carmenere, bless, you've been here for me since day one of this fiasco and I do appreciate it. I'm off to work for a British family in Antalya, Turkey as their nanny far far away from these. It's temporary but for 4 years til the little one starts local school there and hopefully by then i'll be known in the expat community and go on to another job and be able to stay away from mr and mrs bitch forever!!!

OP posts:
Report

Carmenere · 21/08/2007 10:53

The thing is Fairy, your mum is a bit of an old boot and doesn't want you around for two reasons. 1) she is having a revolting honeymoon period with a neanderthal and wants some space(she is perfectly entitled to this imo btw)
2) You are a constant reminder that she has probably made a huge mistake and will spend the rest of her life fetching and carrying for this lazy lump.

All you can do is look forward to your new job (good for you btw, it sounds great) and be there for her in a few years when it all goes pear shaped and she finds out that she is working to support an arsehole who spends all his time trying to shag other women. As we all have a fairly good idea that this bloke doesn't have much respect for women.

although there is the remote possibility that I may be wrong and that he might turn out to be bearable particularly if you only have to see him once or twice a year.
Either way, moving to Turkey is probably a good move.

Report

MerlinsBeard · 21/08/2007 10:57

how old are you fairy?
your posts on this are coming out like those of a child. great you are gettingyour own place but in the mean time your mother still has a right to be happy.

Report

gringottsgoblin · 21/08/2007 11:02

buy a tent. camping for a month sounds way better than your current situation

Report

IcingOnTheCake · 21/08/2007 11:13

Have you got any kids? I just assumed everyone on here were mums and the odd dad here and there?

Report

moljam · 21/08/2007 11:18

i agree with mumofmonsters-how old are you?whos house is it also?
i moved back home a few years ago between moves and it wasnt that great but it was my mums house and i respected that.

Report

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 21/08/2007 11:23

i moved back to my parents house for a while withy 2 kids, had to do things by their rules etc. was hard.

thank goodness you are moving out.

what is it you have against this man btw? why are the whole family against him?

Report

IcingOnTheCake · 21/08/2007 11:24

He sounds like Kieth Miller in Eastenders!

Report

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 21/08/2007 11:29

lol

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?