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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

It's a parking one.........

61 replies

LissJas · 21/11/2019 15:41

We live in a very small village. We have a village square where there are parking spaces, some short term (30 mins) and some with no time restrictions. There is also parking available on each side of the roads leading off the main square. There are terraced houses opening directly onto the pavement on each side too. Most village households have two cars and parking is an absolutely bloody nightmare. Normally every space crammed at every point, you have to drive round and round until someone leaves like a bloody busy car park.

My dd's car has been parked on the road outside a terraced house for a few weeks (driven around every so often by me and DP as she isn't home at the moment). There are cars in front and behind her taking all the available space up, same on the other side of the road.

I went to move it today, drove it to the shops and back and then when I returned the space I'd driven out of was still free! So I re-parked. A woman then approached my car, I opened the window and she basically had a go at me for parking there. She said the neighbours are furious, they've had the police out, the council out, they thought it was an abandoned car (it's been driven regularly!). She said it's taxed, insured and MOT'd (like I hadn't known?!) BUT to be aware that they had run these checks, like it was a threat. Like the car is now on their wavelength so I should be aware. She then said that I was parked in front of someone's house and depriving them of their parking space. There are no allocated spaces within the square at all, it's a first come, first served situation. She was very accusatory, rude and patronising. I have no idea why she was getting involved, she isn't one of the neighbours. She was quite aggressive, kept going on about how upset they were as if I should just say "Oh, sorry, I'll move immediately." There was nowhere to move to!

I was quite shocked but I pointed out that I was parked perfectly legally, with a legally roadworthy car and that no-one has an allocated space outside their house. My house is in the village and I can't park outside it!! That's just the way things are, it's a pain but the fact is that anyone can park anywhere. She muttered something about only telling me then said "I think you should be more gracious," before storming off.

So AIBU or was she??

OP posts:

bloodynamechange · 21/11/2019 15:47

I don't understand why people are so weird about parking.

She should mind her own bloody business!

BusterTheBulldog · 21/11/2019 15:55

Hmm, I live on a road similar to what you describe, it would annoy me if someone’s car was randomly abandoned for months at a time (though perfectly legal) outside my house. We had an extra car for a few weeks and parked it a few streets away where there were no houses to annoy (and moved it regularly). Could you do that maybe?

AryaStarkWolf · 21/11/2019 15:58

You should be gracious for what? What an idiot

babybrain77 · 21/11/2019 15:59

Hmmm tough one, but on balance I think YABU. If parking is that difficult, it's quite obnoxious to leave a car there for weeks at a time when it's clearly not being used (presumably your DD is away at university or similar). I would be annoyed if I was your neighbour - you should move the car a little way away where you are not depriving someone who is actually there of a space.

churchandstate · 21/11/2019 15:59

You can park there if you like, OP. It is annoying (people park outside mine all the time) but she has no right to have a go at you about it.

BigFatLiar · 21/11/2019 16:04

If its legally parked and its the only available space, no problem. You should have been gracious though and thanked her for keeping an eye on it for you :)

Lweji · 21/11/2019 16:08

I voted YANBU, but could you park it elsewhere? If you only use it occasionally, can you find a parking space a bit further away?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/11/2019 16:15

Why the hell should you park somewhere else. Legal car, legal parking end of. Tell the nosy cow to get a drive way with her next home

Original poster

LissJas · 21/11/2019 16:16

There's no parking that isn't outside someone's house! The area outside the village is heavily residential and there's restricted parking elsewhere. It truly is a nightmare.

If I moved it I'd be parking outside someone else's house 🤷‍♀️ If you live in that type of property then I think you need to be ok with the car situation. We are! Because we need to be. We'd like to have our own spaces outside but I certainly wouldn't go out all guns blazing to accost the other car owner.

I should add that there quite a few other cars parked semi-permanently around the village.

I wish I'd asked what it's got to do with her!

OP posts:

LannieDuck · 21/11/2019 16:17

It's unreasonable of you to leave a car for weeks in an area that's known to be difficult for parking. Can't you leave it somewhere a bit further away? It's not like you have to walk to and from it every day.

DryHeaving · 21/11/2019 16:17

I would find it irritating too. I think if you only use the car occasionally you should park it somewhere else for a while just to keep the peace
You live in a village I'm sure everyone knows everyone's business

Lweji · 21/11/2019 16:22

Where would the house owners have parked then?

RedSheep73 · 21/11/2019 16:23

It's lose-lose I think. There's nothing illegal about parking there, but if it was someone long-term parking right outside your house and you couldn't park you'd be pissed off. I don't think it's unreasonable to check out a car that appears to have been abandoned, though, it does happen. I suppose the best thing to do in the long run is to have fewer cars? It's bad enough where I live where everyone has a drive, the road is still full up some nights cos everyone has 2-3-even 4 cars.

Bloomburger · 21/11/2019 16:24

Can you not park it outside your own house?

AryaStarkWolf · 21/11/2019 16:27

No it isn't. She can park it there if she can find a space, which she did....if she can find a space presumably those complaining can too

angelaEhen · 21/11/2019 16:30

I live on a similar street and it would annoy me if it was left outside my house for a long period of time, you need to move it around at the very least. But the best solution would be to park it outside your own house when the space is free

AryaStarkWolf · 21/11/2019 16:34

Just because it would annoy you, doesn't make the Op unreasonable, annoyed or not the road outside your house isn't owned by you, it's a public space

BusterTheBulldog · 21/11/2019 16:35

I’m perfectly ok with people parking outside my house and me not being able to, but I would be a bit miffed if had an abandoned car there (or anywhere on my street) for weeks on end and would also have checked all was legal with it. As I’ve said, it’s perfectly legal, just not very neighbourly.

brummiesue · 21/11/2019 16:36

I actually think yabu, why dont you do what people have suggested and wait until there is a space outside your own home and park it there, then it's not bothering anyone else when it's there for weeks unused.

angelaEhen · 21/11/2019 16:37

Well people are annoyed and it's nice to be considerate of your neighbours

PurpleWithABitOfPink · 21/11/2019 16:37

I lived in an area as you describe, and a primary school opposite! During school hours the place was rammed (school didn’t have car park). If you were home and moved car, within minutes your space was taken. However, one evening DH and I came back, found a space further up the road and whilst we were parking, man from the house directly in front opened his window to tell us not to park there and move on! It was late, we couldn’t be bothered to question him and drove off to park elsewhere. Some people are really funny about parking spaces outside their houses, even though legally anyone can park there.
After we moved I came across the same attitude, a man asked me to move my car because that was ‘his space’, and his daughter was the same, I guess they think they own that part of the road alongside the house 🤷‍♀️
In guessing the neighbours have been constantly complaining about your car, and this lady decided it was time to let you know when she saw you.

Directingtraffic · 21/11/2019 16:38

I don't think it's unreasonable but maybe it's a tad inconsiderate? It would be better if you could try to change where you park it sometimes ( I know you mention nowhere else was available on this occasion)

As someone who lives on a similarly busy road with limited parking I can only say that it IS frustrating when someone parks outside your home for prolonged periods. As previous posters have pointed out we have no right to a space outside our home but it is very convenient to be able to park outside your own home so I can kind of see why the home owners are fed up.
The woman who approached you is just a nosy neighbour though and broached the situation with you from the wrong angle. No need for the aggression when ultimately you are parked legally.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/11/2019 16:40

I dont really see the difference in leaving a car there and taking it out and driving back every night to park there. A space is a space, a taken space is a taken space. What people really mean is dont park there at all....but its legal so f off.

In fact my response would have been
"im sure the police have nothing better to do than check a legal car, legally parked. I suggest darling you get a drive way and a hobby!"

bellabasset · 21/11/2019 16:47

I understand that you are parking legally, but is it the case that your dd doesn't live with you but has left her unused car with you. Do you have 3 cars. Is that why people are a bit upset. Perhaps the owners want to Hoover their car or clean it?

Dontdisturbmenow · 21/11/2019 16:49

You're not doing anything wrong but you are being extremely inconsiderate. If you DD is away and isn't using the car, why not park it somewhere less desperate for parking? It seems odd that if drive it regularly, you are fortunate 4nough to always have the space back if as you say, it's a case of driving around and getting a space that has just been left.

I'm in exactly the same situation with DS at Uni and it was clear when he left that he would park a few streets away where there are spaces on the streets. It's just simple courtesy.

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