Manager complaining about pregnancy

[Yummymummy2020]

This is more than a rant because I feel there is nothing I can do about it since it wasn’t said directly to me. It may also be hormones taking over as I am feeling a bit grumpy at the moment, but a close colleague at my place of work has said my manager has been complaining to staff about my pregnancy and how it’s unfortunate and I could have waited as they are short staffed.I am signed off early for per eclampsia and was very ill originally, now approaching my due date and doing a bit better so more in a position to care(possibly unreasonably) about this. Said manager has numerous children herself so feel her comments to other staff members(at my level not other management) are bad form. Just to add, I have been in the job years and it’s always been short staffed and ran quite poorly at the best of times. Am I being over Sensitive to be annoyed at this? I think if it was to other management I wouldn’t care as much but these are for want of a better word normal colleagues it is being said to. She also said she hopes I have no more children. I work in an office so it’s not saving lives!

Do you have an HR dept you could complain to? As you have only heard about it via a rumour I'm not sure there is much that you or HR could do about it, but YANBU for being annoyed. Could you encourage the staff member who this was said to, to report it? She could report it on grounds of it being unprofessional and potentially discriminatory. It can't be exactly encouraging for other female staff members to listen to that kind of comment, knowing that if they found themselves in a similar position they would face the same disrespect. They should all be complaining and defending you.

YANBU but I'd try and let it go. Your manager is being a bit of a cow but as long as she's not depriving you of your rights or being obstructive about you coming back to work once your mat leave is done, she is not doing anything you could reasonably complain about. Everyone has a moan now and again. Take is as a sign that you are an important member of the team to her and she is disappointed you are going!

You have GOT to be kidding @Renegade!

This is a manager! There are higher expectations, training etc and yes, this could quite easily be construed as workplace bullying!

OP. DO report this to HR, if only to have it on record, just in case she escalates when you return to work... or does the same to some other woman.

I dont know there is much you can do about it. It's a he said / she said situation and she can just deny it, also I dont think your colleagues may be pissed off with you as if HR go on record they will have to formally give a statement against her and she will probably find out.

Keep a note and speak to her if you feel you can, if you know her well just say I hear you're not very happy about my pregnancy and see what she says.

If the office is already very short staffed and she is struggling to juggle everything it may just be a case of 'next year is going to be even harder than I thought now, ahhh, what terrible timing for the business' and Chinese whispers, rather than her actually thinking she diesnt want you to have a baby or being annoyed at you. It is her job to worry about the impact on the business

I am absolutely not kidding.

This hasn't been said to the OP directly, or even from the sounds of it while she is in the office! It is therefore a rumour and I don't think raising a formal complaint about it while on mat leave is a good idea. OP might want to return to work and a complaint while she is away could breed resentment that the OP has no way of mitigating as she is away. If the manager is doing something genuinely discriminatory by all mean go to HR without hesitation. But raising a complaint while you are away from the office about what could have just been a throw away remark on a bad day is an overreaction, in my view, and a bad idea.

I Totally accept there could be more to the story than what the OP said and it might change my point of view, and as I said, I don't think I she is unreasonable to be annoyed, but at the moment based I stand by my post and do her best to let it go.

Thanks guys! It is a very annoying thing to hear being said but I do agree without it being said to me directly there isn’t much I can do about it! I suppose I just didn’t appreciate someone effectively saying I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant when i feel I’m entitled to get pregnant as I please (within reason of course) and shouldn’t have to put my life on hold for staffing issues that never seem to be resolved anyway! It is quite a small section in the office part of a larger business so I would need to be sure if I was to contact hr, but I do agree it is a Chinese whisper from their point of view! For a small office we have numerous managers so I feel it was unprofessional to say to a colleague, who was disgusted about it and a good friend so I guess that’s how I got told about it then. I think because it’s been a bit of a worrying pregnancy I’m very sensitive at the moment and a bit on edge and so made me more annoyed about it! I just don’t think she should be saying she hopes I don’t have any more kids and it was unfortunate as though it’s a bad thing when really this pregnancy came at a time that brought a lot of happiness to us and the extended family after having a hard few years with illness in the family ect! That probably has me more annoyed even though I understand it’s irrelevant to her!