"Poshest" roles in a typical nativity play

[SympatheticSwan]

Lighthearted obviously.

It's this time of the year again and, as a foreign parent, I am again amazed by the level of intrigue around the casting decisions for the school's nativity play.

AIBU to ask you to help me understand what is the "hierarchy" of roles in a typical nativity play? I deduced myself that Mary is the lead role (but it does not seem that Joseph commands the same level of respect for boys), and livestock ranks below all, but what about the rest? Shepherd? Three wise men? Townsfolk? Innkeeper? Talking penguins?

My DD2 never got a good (or even medium) part in anything until her y6 leavers production (despite me being PTA secretary for years ). At which point lots of teachers(&parents) came up to me saying how good she was in a surprised tone of voice. Yes well, she had been doing extra curricular drama for 5 years, you just thought as she was quiet and had poorish clarity of speech she couldn't act.

It's soooo true that Mary was always the blondest child in the class.

I feel these nativities are somewhat lacking in historical/geographical accuracy

When I was 8 years old, our teacher asked if anyone had a dolly they could lend as the Baby Jesus. I put up my hand; so did another girl.

The teacher, in order to be fair, decided that my dolly would be Jesus on one night and the other dolly would play the part the next night. It wasn't difficult; all they had to do was be wrapped in swaddling clothes and lie still in the manger. I watched my dolly carefully in all the rehearsals: she did it perfectly and she looked the part - the other dolly had blonde curls, looked ridiculous!

In the event, the other little girl forgot her dolly on the second night, so mine was used again. I was so proud, and so pleased!

Just to prove that parental competitiveness starts from a young age

Narrator is a top role and usually only goes to those who can read well.

Boys: Joseph and Kings and innkeeper
Girls: Angels. (Mary seen as a role for those who can't read well because she just follows Joseph around looking pregnant.)

This makes me laugh every year at our school, who's Mary who's Mary..... in the nativitys that I have seen my kids be in Mary literally says nothing she just sits on the stage. Both of mine were mice one year hahaha.

Ex-Reception teacher here...

"Lead roles" = anything that involves a speaking part or a fair bit of moving around, tends to go to the kids that are fairly confident, well-behaved and biddable. And if there's lines to learn, we also pick kids whose parents we know will practise with them...

Animal, or other non-human parts, like trees, tend to go the shyer, less reliable, less confident, less able kids.

Sorry, but if your kid can't speak clearly, listen to instructions or sit quietly, they're never going to get a main speaking part.

Typically in our primary, the nativity is a modern written version for primary performance. Either a roughly a take on the nativity (is there one about Scratchy Hay?!) or a different story entirely. In these modern texts, they’re carefully written to have many equal speaking parts. Last year, there were 8 parts with “lots” of lines, and about 12 with “quite a lot”.

Even in the nativity story days, I have never heard anyone in real life show false modesty or false irritation over casting, or been annoyed genuinely.

Only comment I’ve ever heard was great excitement from lots of kids in Y3 when Mary & Joseph were real life girl & boyfriend

I’ve never heard competitive nonsense over it.

Prickly Hay? Ds has to dress like a cowboy?

Narrator in all things at our school is split into a thousand bloody lines, with each said by a different child. It’s easy for them to learn and great for including all. But it’s really hard to follow! Fortunately, the words are all pretty dull anyway

Prickly Hay, not scratchy yes! That’s it!

One year King Herod had a harem of belly dancers. It was hilarious and the parents were

The Marys at DD's school have usually been blonde apart from when DD1 did it in nursery, who is dark haired with olive skin, and her Joseph also looked vaguely Middle Eastern.

They did both have a very good part that year too, lots of lines, and singing at the front of the stage. DD2 came to watch who was only ten months old, they saved us a seat at the front (then the nursery leavers got the main parts and parents were saved the front two rows). DD2 sat on my knee and was so good and quiet because she could see her big sister so well, and she sat with rapt attention throughout.

Ha I love those posting about their dc being a little so and so if they're low down in the hierarchy of nativity roles.
In my old school it was on looks. I was pretty ugly so always a cow/horse and blondy blue eyed sally always Bloody Mary until we left school. Was demoralising when you think about it. I knew full well despite Sally being pretty illiterate until about year 5 and me being top of class for reading, I had no hope of reading out Mary's lines ever

As I recall, the innkeepers had the best role because our music teacher had written a little song for them to sing when they were turning Mary and Joseph away. I can still remember it now:
Joseph: Rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat
Innkeeper: NO! NO! NO! We haven't any room, and you can't stay here. We haven't any room for strangers! The wind may be chill, and the night may be cold, and be full of nasty noises in the dark, and dangers. But we haven't any room, we haven't any room, we haven't any room for straa-aangers!

It was always the kid with the loudest voice who got that part, and they were judged on the volume of their NO.

@Pollaidh - would've LOVED to see the harem & Herod! A primary school I used to volunteer at, we had a very sweet, nicely behaved blonde, blue eyed little boy. Teacher had kind of banked on him being an angel... he asked to be - and duly was- Herod .

@TeenPlusTwenties sorry but "poorish clarity of tone" is a very valid reason for them not picking your Dd and I'd actually expect a child with some drama/acting experience to have been taught to project properly, by yr 2 or so upwards at least.

When my little sister was around 11, we lived in quite a jewish area and as she was the only blond haired, blue-eyed girl, she was chosen for Mary. After a couple of minutes on stage, she had terrible stage fright and burst into tears. Teacher then had to hold her hand and say her lines. My parents were mortified.

Just remembered another funny thing. When my daughter was the same age, she came home to tell me that she was going to Mrs Noah in Noah's Ark. Clearly I was that parent and told everyone. Cue hilarious laughter from everyone when the cast list came home and she was cast as a worm. i did make her a great costume, though.

At out church you get to choose your own part in the nativity, so there's usually a few Mary's, several Kings, an entire flock of sheep. DS was baby Jesus at 3.5 weeks old his first one, I was very proud.

But you try explaining to a nearly three year old that he can't be Spiderman, because, sadly, spiderman wasn't present at the birth of Jesus Christ. 🕷️👼

MrsToothy Nothing about projection actually. Just in everyday life she was behind in her speech compared with peers. But with learned words, when she knew to speak slower and clearly, she was absolutely fine.

My daughter got narrator and has the most dialogue, pages of it! She wanted Mary but the teacher said it was a waste Mary has just one line and as my DD can sight read and is very confident on stage (she’s been dancing since she was 2)... I’m not even going to lie I felt very proud! Especially as I’m the only single parent and often looked down on by other parents, unashamed smug face 😊

Our school always did a Christmas play with the Nativity as a part of it, eg the bossy angel, lonely star etc. I don't actually remember being in one myself. I remember my sister being in a bit about Christmas dinner - she was turkey, so got to wear a nice dress and walk on carrying a roast chicken on a plate.
DS is 2, can't wait until he starts being in nativities!

I was an angel once. Had to take my costume home to be ironed and managed to convince my mum that the teacher had also asked to put extra tinsel on it . I loved that angel costume, it had massive wings made out of someone's net curtain.

In my dc's school they always cast the children with behaviour problems as father christmas. They go on at the end of the play and shout "merry christmas everyone". It was lovely the first time they did it but now everyone dreads their child being given that part as it means they can't be trusted to behave themselves on stage for more than about 30 seconds.

It depends on the play. I've seen lead character everything from Shepherd boy through to a camel.
Mary in most of the plays I've seen has nothing to say and just sits there. It's never been the lead.
Narrator can be a big part, or can mean "oh heck what do we do when we've got a play with 6 parts and 150 bored children on stage. I know! Let's give 20 of them half a line each"... and then put them in random order so the microphone has to be passed up and down the line taking too long each time.

In ds' year 2 they let the children put their names forward for what they wanted to be and the hottest contest was for the donkey. Ds got drawn for that, and was very pleased. Otherwise I think he was asking if he could be a sheepdog.

three kings - rentier class
the innkeeper petite bourgeoisie
Joseph - freelance/ precariat class
donkey - working class
shepherd - peasant class
Mary - unmarried mother/clearly a benefit scrounger

My daughter's class seem to be doing a play about a school putting on a play. Her role is "pushy parent". She's previously been narrator, angel (one of about 50), child from the 80's plus others that I can't even remember. I think we've peaked now though. Anyone got any ideas for a Pushy Parent costume?