In law money issue

[Tara214]

My in laws are paying for accommodation abroad for my DH and me, and DH siblings and their families. The accommodation has already been paid for for a week. However, it’s looking like travel is going to cost us around £200.
They wanted us to fly with other family members which would involve us travelling 400 miles return to that airport. Whether we do that or fly local, it’s going to cost £200.

Our financial situation is not currently great, we have debts and I’m feeling stressed out about booking these flights. I feel like the in-laws have me over a barrel because they have paid for the accommodation. I’m conscious it’s going to be an expensive trip with meals out that will be difficult to not partake in.
I don’t know what I am asking I am just trying to make sense of this stress I’m feeling. DH doesn’t share my feelings and doesn’t seem to have much grasp of our financial situation or priorities. Do I suck this all up?

Well forget the flying from a far-away airport for a start, that's just daft. £200 isn't a lot for flights really, but it is if you are broke. Do the in-laws know how bad your financial situation really is? What does your dh actually say when you say "we can't afford meals out etc while we are on holiday, how do you see this working out?"
Are you worried about the actual holiday? It could be a memorable time for everyone, hopefully for nice reasons!

I would be honest and say unfortunately your financial circumstances have changed and you can no longer go. How much would your share of the accommodation be? Could someone else take your place?

Yes. It’s booked. You should have said something before hand.

They booked it without any discussion. My SIL is having to pull her kids out of school for a week as it’s been booked during term time so she’s going to incur charges for that.

They didn’t ask you if you were available or could afford it? That was silly of them. And more fool SIL.

No they did not.

They didn't ask you so any lost funds on their part is their stupid tax.

Don't put yourself in financial hardship over this. Say thank you but no me don't engage.

Just say sorry but we cannot afford the time off or the money to go

Well, you probably should, as a couple, tell them you’re really grateful for the gesture but you can’t afford to spend more than £200+X (spending money) so if the plans are to eat out and do expensive activities then you won’t be able to afford it.

This is your issue, though:

DH doesn’t share my feelings and doesn’t seem to have much grasp of our financial situation or priorities.

How does he ‘not have much grasp’ if you discuss it together?

Is what you mean ‘he wants to prioritise this over ...’ [insert your more sensible priority here- debt repayment, Christmas presents, whatever]?

How entitled of you time and money.

Dont let them guilt you into going just because they paid for accommodation.
Btw, are you sure they are really paid for? Or they claim they paid?
Did you ask you which kind of accommodations work the best for you and your family?

Even if they paid for plane tickets, meals, etc - do you really want to be treated like kids by your ILs? You are adults and your presence is not commanded as they wish

Your dh must say his family is not going.
Next time they would like to vacation with you, you, dh and ils should talk together and agree on what works for everybody

I think you need to answer a few things here.
If money wasn’t an issue would you want to do this trip? If yes then you and your DH should work together to see how it could work. You say you have debts but are you just feeling bad about spending more money rather than paying them off or are you literally falling short each month?