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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Injured Child AIBU

36 replies

Flowers55 · 20/11/2019 20:51

I haven’t done a tread here before so please bear with me. Basically yesterday my Dd (7) had glasses thrown in a bush at school. From what I understand it was 3 other children encouraging 1 child to do so. She had taken them off and left them on a bench, they knew they were hers as one of the group is a family friend. In getting them back my daughter ended up with a splinter in her eye. 4 hours in a&e, £150 quid glasses ruined (although she gets glasses free she is partially sighted so I pay for thinning and weighting) 10 days of antibiotic eye drops and today the school say they aren’t going to do anything as it was her fault for taking them off? Surely someone other the dd should be called up for this? Advise on how to deal with it would be super.

OP posts:
Fleetheart · 20/11/2019 20:54

You definitely should pursue with the school And ensure that they take it up with those concerned. It is completely unacceptable. If I took my glasses off I wouldn’t expect someone to throw them in a bush! Children need to learn that- never mind the fact that there were serious repercussions and your poor daughter was injured. It’s not good enough to say it was her fault.

GreenEyeBlueEye · 20/11/2019 21:13

This is awful, it’s bullying. I can’t say I’m surprised the school aren’t taking this seriously. Definitely get the school to look further into this. Your poor daughter

anxioussue · 20/11/2019 21:16

If a teacher takes her watch off and a child takes it, would it be her fault? The school would come down on the child like a ton of bricks.

TriciaH87 · 20/11/2019 21:20

Write a letter. They have to show ofsted and will be quizzed on how they dealt with it. Tell them that whilst dd took them off the other children knowing they were hers stole them and threw them causing damage. If they were adults it would be considered theft even if by finding and criminal damage. They knew they belonged to her but rather than handing to a teacher to put in list property they chose to damage them. At the very least school should talk to them about doing the correct thing and handing them in. Something as important as glasses should not be ignored what if this had been a child's inhaler. The child could have died from an asthma attack.

Original poster
Flowers55 · 20/11/2019 22:01

Thank you for responses, I will write a letter. My dd had discouraged my involvement in honesty but my mind screamed bullying. If I write a letter the school will have to engage in it. Thank you again xx

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 20/11/2019 22:03

What are her glasses for OP? If they are just for reading or for the board then she’s obviously going to take them off.
DDs are mainly for reading/concentrating, but she doesn’t wear them fir sport/playing outside - so obviously takes them off!

GrumpyHoonMain · 20/11/2019 22:22

It doesn’t matter why she took them off, the other child threw them deliberately and broke them. Report the bullying. Keep escalating it if you must. You could also take the parents or the school to court and try and get the money back. In the case of the parents you could get a CCJ in their names if they won’t pay.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 20/11/2019 22:28

Could you mention claiming for medical costs and cost of new glasses on the school's insurance. It might focus their mind. And definitely do look into claiming the expenses on the school insurance.

DontCallMeShitley · 20/11/2019 22:42

Were the lenses broken? Rather than buy new complete glasses could you get new frames the same as the old ones?

And do pursue it.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 20/11/2019 22:43

Victim blaming much!
Definitely write a letter. I'm so sorry about your daughter, that is awful for her. And you. Bullying behavior and the school do need to address what happened. Like another poster said, if a teacher took off her watch and a child threw it, there is no way they would ignore that!

woogal · 20/11/2019 22:48

Don't write in. Email them so there is a paper trail.

testingtesting111 · 20/11/2019 22:50

Definitely complain. I was systematically bullied physically and racially over 4/5 years. My parents repeatedly complained. Unfortunately It was only when my parents took photos and threatened to involve the police that they miraculously found a backbone. By the way I begged my parents not to report to school for fear of repercussions. Definitely complain, don't be fobbed off. I'd send a letter, but as a follow up to a very stern call with the head.

Hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery and is as well as can be.

stophuggingme · 20/11/2019 22:53

Who on earth are the 2% that think YABU?
YADNBU that is dreadful

PixieDustt · 20/11/2019 22:53

Agree to email for a paper trail.
That's bullying and absolutely disgusting. Breaks my heart when kids get there glasses taken away from them.

BackforGood · 20/11/2019 22:58

If "the school" in your OP was the class teacher, then e-mail the HT.
If "the school" was the HT, then write to the Chair of Governers.

Ask at the office for the complaints procedure.

The response from "the school" is appalling.

Beveren · 20/11/2019 23:00

Get copies of the school's bullying and complaints policies (they should be on the website) and ask for a meeting where they are invited to explain exactly how they have been applying their bullying policy. If they don't give satisfactory answers, institute the complaints policy.

If they keep up with the "her fault" nonsense, ask if they are really saying it's fine for their pupils to take each other's property and break it, and whether they are prepared to put that in writing. I suspect they will backtrack when they realise the consequences of that little gem being relayed to the governors, Ofsted and elsewhere.

MrsJ28903 · 20/11/2019 23:03

I’m a teacher and think YANBU. The children who threw the glasses should be reprimanded. Please do write to the school.
Have they targeted your DD before? If there are several incidents then yes it could be bullying. If this is the only incident then it is unkind and inappropriate behaviour. Both types should be dealt with.

Poppinjay · 20/11/2019 23:05

If they destroy her clothing while she's getting changed for PE, is that her fault for taking them off too?

MrsP2015 · 20/11/2019 23:38

Agree with the poster who said to email so there is a log of evidence.

From the awful response already the school would probably 'lose' the letter.

This needs addressing now before it gets worse as believe me if these girls (all of them) are not punished they will get worse.

Hope your dd is ok. Vile bullies.

SaveTheTreesPlease · 21/11/2019 00:06

Your poor DD Flowers Absolutely disgraceful response from the school. Agree with PPs - escalate this until you get a satisfactory resolution and keep email records of everything. Show your DD you’re not prepared to let this go. I’m fuming on your behalf! Angry

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 21/11/2019 01:12

Someone broke DS2’s glasses. He took them off at break to play and someone took them and smashed them. The school took it very seriously indeed, the deputy head dealt with it. It is bullying.

As your is partially sighted you might want to point out that this could be seen as targeting someone because of a disability. Ask them in writing for their anti bullying policies and how they treat bullying based on a disability.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 21/11/2019 01:12

As your DD

PlanDeRaccordement · 21/11/2019 05:33

YANBU it is bullying. Your daughter deserves better from the school. Write a letter and demand a meeting with the head. Have you daughter tell you about any teasing or other bullying and keep a log that you send to the school in writing. Until the bullying stops. You are not asking a lot, just that your daughter be safe in school.

Needbettername · 21/11/2019 07:28

Presuming you are in England do not email! This is bad advice. The schools complaint policy will have how to complain and normally for it to be classed as formal complaint they will request the complaint in writing by letter.

SnuggyBuggy · 21/11/2019 07:33

I'd take this further, it's a crap response from the school