To refuse permission to share PE kit

[Hammer19]

DD's pe bottoms were in his school bag, so I asked why they had brought them home. She said another child had borrowed them to attend a sports competition.

DD attends every out of school sports club but is never picked to represent the school. She is quite sporty, not elite but good enough. The school say that all kids get a chance to represent the school but in reality the same 5-6 kids are picked for every type of sport competition regardless of whether they attend the clubs. DCD always asks why they are never picked. I could understand if the school were winning all the competitions and they wanted the best to compete but they lose at everything so why not give all the kids who want to try a chance to attend. Funny how you miss school for holiday but it's ok for the same kids to miss at least an afternoon each week to represent the school.

So here is my aibu, I feel like writing to the school asking them not to loan my childs PE kit out to other children to compete in competitions.

It's a bit of a rubbish message for my DD , you are not good enough to attend but we will use you for your PE kit. Kinda rubbing her face in it

My kids wouldn't be happy with anyone using their PE kit. I don't buy PE kit for other kids to use.

Had the other child taken them home to wash them or did they come home for you to wash? If they sent home for you to wash, that's even worse.

YANBU and the school sport ethos is shit.

Did school ask to borrow or was it your daughters friend who asked to borrow. If the latter the school may not even be aware of the 'transaction' but may have told the one attending she needed to sort out some kit to wear.

Yes I’d talk to the teacher about that, and also ask about fair distribution of sporting opportunity. I agree with giving children a chance regardless of ability but all of them should have a chance to take part if there are multiple opportunities.

And I would definitely object to the school renting my pe kit out, but if it was a friend asking my child then i happily do an extra wash to facilitate that peer support.

YANBU on either objection

Ew no I wouldn’t want them sharing pe kit anyway!!

Urgh this happened to DS many years ago. His outdoor PE kit came home covered in mud, even though he had Badminton or something in his indoor stuff. Turns out the teacher told him he had to lend it to another child...

Oh hell no, yanbu

No way would I be happy with lending out my dds pe kit. Im happy to wash my own childs sweaty, stinky stuff, but I shouldnt be forced to wash out another childs (it will be pretty sweaty and gross after a sporting competition).
If the "chosen" child doesnt have their pe kit they dont participate, its as simple as that.

In my day if you didn't have full kit, you didn't represent the school - not helpful I know. However I think it's unreasonable to share another person's PE kit. I think you should write to the school and include your comment you are not good enough to attend but we will use you for your PE kit
As for PE staff limiting their team selection to the same group of children - it's the same from time immemoriam . The thing is by definition PE staff are sporty and therefore competitive and it almost literally causes them physically pain not to have the best people on the team. I agree it's not fair, which is why I did my sports outside of school. I don't sign up to the doctrine that school team sports are character building and good for team work and health. Well I do, but not in the positive way schools sell it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who still has shivers from the humiliation that was team selection during a PE class - always one of the last to be chosen, or even worse the actual last. Or the deep joy of standing on the touch line in freezing weather for most of the class time ....Anyway that's off topic

If be fine with this if a one-off (like, if a competing child had forgotten their own kit), but not on a regular basis.

Who loaned them, though? Your DD?