To think this is unlikely to be racism?

[Frazzledforever]

One of the parents in dd's reception class has complained publicly on the WhatsApp group about her daughter being bullied. She sort of hinted that it might be racial, as there was a similar situation in a different class with her son. She named names of kids who were supposedly bullying, and they're Asian and South American. The bullied kid is also Asian although a different part.
Am I naive to think this is unlikely to racially motivated? We are in the middle of a big city. Most of the kids have at least one parent who is not white British, including my own daughter. There's also not a dominant ethnic group, for example there are seven languages spoken between twelve kids.
I know that ethnic minorities can be racist against other groups but the whole 'one kid telling another that their skin/ hair texture is funny' is unlikely to apply in a class with kids from Africa, Asia, Latin America, Europe and the Middle East. I mean whose skin or hair would be seen as 'normal'?

It's impossible to say unless you know what form the bullying took, what was said. However, unless she has discussed it with the school, and their response has been inadequate, I think it's highly inappropriate for her to be naming kids on a WhatsApp group .

@carolinelucaseshandbag definitely! She said she already spoke to the school but still went to the WhatsApp group and named a load of kids, just based on what her 4 y.o had said!

Asia is a huge place and there is immense racism between Asian communities. For example Indo-Bangladeshi / Pakistanis, Indo-Bangladeshi / Chinese. Middle Eastern racists often view themselves superior to people between Afghanistan to Bangladesh.

I mean whose skin or hair would be seen as 'normal'?

I've read that there can be what is sometimes called 'colourism' within ethnic groups. So someone who has darker skin or curlier hair can be picked on by people of their own race. Is it possible something like that is going on?

It's my understanding that there can be tensions between different groups of people from across Asia because the cultural differences from one part of say, India, to another part can be significant.

With that in mind I think it's certainly possible that some of the bullying is racially motivated.

Even if the school is very multicultural, it's still possible for bullying to be ethnically motivated between children from different countries or regions. I went to a very multicultural secondary school but the Indian boys would never be friends with the Pakistani boys. That doesn't mean it is necessarily racially motivated in this case of course, but it's possible.

You are being unreasonable.

Racial prejudice can exist within similar groups of people. For example, colourism. A lot of it is linked with the lessons and teachings of racism brought to continents such as Africa and Asia by the white man. The idea that hair resembling that of a white person is more attractive or that the lighter ones skin is the more attractive and acceptable it is.

I suggest you broaden your horizons.

I get that but because there were two from different places (one who arrived in England for the first place in October!) I find it hard to believe that the two of them aged four collaborated in a racial attack. Isn't it much more likely to be kids just being kids?

It’s actually more likely because if they’re from the countries themselves the racism is often engrained far earlier than from the UK. The only Indian / Pakistani origin kids I know who are friends, for example, are British born.

My 4 yo Indian DN likes to call anyone with East Asian features ‘chinny minnies’. It’s horrifically racist and caused him not to be accepted at an international school in Mumbai and sil is appealing this on the grounds that it’s not racist because he’s too young for it. (At the same time as other Indians in their family / friend circles laugh about it and call it cute).

But do we know what the bullying consisted of? @Frazzledforever was it
a comment about hair or features? It's not clear from your post as to whether your hair comment was an actual example or something that kids may say anyway?
Are the parents of the accused kids part of that WhatsApp group?

@carolinelucaseshandbag apparently it was pulling her hat off and running away with it. There wasn't mention of hair, that was just an example.

If the acts of bullying do not involve mention of race or anything that could remotely be connected to race/religion (e.g. pulling off a headscarf rather than a hat) then without knowing the kids involved it's not going to be easy to establish whether race has played any part in the targeting of the victim.

It's impossible to say unless you know what form the bullying took, what was said

This....

I find it hard to believe that the two of them aged four collaborated in a racial attack. Isn't it much more likely to be kids just being kids?

Why are you trying to minimise the possibility that a group of 4 year old's could be racist towards each other? It isn't a pleasant thought, but it is possible - the behaviour/language/racial slurs are taught at home.

I would say that the mother and child are right. There was an attempt to ostracise my daughter last year because she isn't a muslim. I am not, but her father is and hence she has a very typical Arab surname and so it was assumed that she was. During a discussion on religion and acceptance, she announced that she wasn't muslim but maybe a humanist. I complained to the form teacher and it was considered a serious matter.
I am Indian, my daughter is Indian/Arab, the majority of children in her class are Asian muslim. I have since noticed that the muslim children like to only play with other muslim children. No doubt this is encouraged, or at least overlooked by the parents.

It's not impossible that the kids were bullying the child because they are different therefore it could be seen as racism. But as I've said previously, we can't know that from the information provided. Kids do unfortunately pick on other kids. It's shit and it needs to be dealt with, but a couple of kids stealing another kids does not immediately scream racism. But we don't know.
I'm still shocked at the mother naming kids on a WhatsApp group. That's something that's not on unless the situation is out of control, the school aren't dealing with it etc.

She probably knows better than mumsnet tbf.

I find it hard to believe that the two of them aged four collaborated in a racial attack. Isn't it much more likely to be kids just being kids?
Yes I believe you're right. They are in reception.
They are 4 she has named shamed and branded them a racist. FFS.
At least you know now, she is THAT parent.
My own DC school is multicultural all the DC just get on with it.
I would be extremely surprised if it is racism at 4.

She was right to contact the school, not the group.
I don't join the WhatsApp group.