Friend's new relationship

[Polly345]

My friend has begun a relationship with a married man. From what I can gather they met via a dating website. I'm also not sure if she knew he was married from the beginning.
She says she has never been happier and this is the ideal relationship. My difficulty is - my exhusband left me stating it was all my fault and all the time it was because he had begun another relationship. She also knows that I have seen heartbreak both with friends and family. She says the man has no plans to leave his wife (financial thing) but at the meantime she is fine with that.
I would like my friend to be happy but it goes against everything I believe in. I can imagine that if I told her that my partner had an affair she would be outraged - so why is it different for her?
At the beginning I reminded her of the heartbreak I had went through as 'the wife' but it didn't seem to matter. She wants to talk all the time about this relationship and, to be honest, I am finding it difficult.

I would distance myself from her, people like that are horrible people. Both of them.

You can't stop her.

You can stop her talking to you about it.

You could just say "don't talk to me about this: it's very painful" and refuse to budge (it would not be ott to stick your fingers in your ears and sing la la la).

Or you could continually say "he'll cheat on you" - to which she will have no comeback because that is, indeed, the sort of man he is.

She's not in a relationship, he's in a relationship with his wife and she is just a living sex doll. He's sick, she's sick.

How much positivity do you get from your friendship with her? And would she be a great loss if you cut her out?

Really difficult one.

My MIL has been seeing a married man for 30 years, it suits her perfectly (she has said this to me). Her husband cheated on and left her, so she knows how it feels to be the cheated-on wife.

But seeing him totally suits her. It's crazy because we all have to pretend we don't know he's married when we see him. And I do wonder if his wife knows after all these years.

If my friend did this I’d ditch them. Shame on her, shame on the husband, I feel so sorry for the wife.

She would no longer be a friend of mine. Her behaviour is showing you exactly who she is as a person. I would ghost her, and if she asks why, I would tell her the truth.

No, no, no, no. A friend did this to me earlier this year. I tried to go along with it for two months, as I thought that was what friends did.

But I couldn't. And I told her so.
The friendship was over for me.

Every now and again, she messages to see if I have time for a drink. I don't. I am polite to her as we have friends in common, but they must wonder why I have gone from being super close to no contact at all

I'm not sure I could be friends with this person any longer - having an affair with a married man goes totally against my morals.

If you still like her as a friend, but don't approve of what she is doing I agree with merryhouse and just tell her that you don't approve of what she is doing and you don't want to hear about her FWB.

I couldn’t respect her choice to date a married man unless his wife knew and it was something they were both into.
Being some kind of on the side shag is disrespectful and embarrassing.
Does she have low self esteem? Do you think she secretly thinks he will fall in love with her dump his wife and they’ll live happily ever after in a spousal maintenance free land or something?

Sigh. She’s a fanny. Literally. That’s all she is to him. See how long he dates her if she stops putting out.
Or perhaps she’s been abused before or something and in her twisted mind she is now empowered and choosing to have sex with him for money/diamond bracelets etc
Who knows.
I don’t know if I could be around her any more.