Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what my neighbours are up to?

49 replies

numberonecook · 20/11/2019 08:34

Background - my lovely neighbours who lived in their house for 40 years moved to live with their daughter. They sold the house to a family, a couple with 2 boys (11 and 14)

Since moving in we have discovered that the mum likes to smoke cannabis every night with 14 year old. The mum dad and 14 year old take great pleasure in picking on 11 year old. To the point they are all laughing at him or shouting at him so we can hear next door (not attached we both have drives spreading our houses). We have also noticed the 11 year old doesn’t go to school most days and is in the house by himself. Other than this the boys seem to be well dressed, fed and have toys, phones devices etc. I’ve never seen or heard any evidence of physical violence.

For the past two weeks a car has come and parked outside their house. It has our local council logo on the side. They pull up, take out a clip board, write something then drive away. I initially thought truent officer but DH said the school would probs be involved first? What I’m earth are they upto now? They (mum and dad) always have large parcels delivered (which they never fucking come and collect) and they are really heavy. AIBU to think they are dodgy? And what is this bloody car?

OP posts:
Dilkhush · 20/11/2019 08:47

I wouldn't be accepting delivery of any more of their parcels. I don't think I'd want to know what's going on there, they sound as though they'd be awful people to fall out with.

Taraswell · 20/11/2019 08:51

Noooooo way would I be taking parcels in for them!
I'm also very very intrigued about the car pulling up. What could it possibly be??????

Kazzyhoward · 20/11/2019 08:59

Just say no to the parcel deliveries. They don't mind and soon learn who will and who won't take in parcels. We have a particularly awful neighbour across the road. We take in parcels for all other neighbours but not her. The delivery drivers don't bat and eyelid when we politely say "no I'd rather not" and just go to another neighbour instead.

Vilanelle · 20/11/2019 09:08

You sound really, really nosy

RoseyOldCrow · 20/11/2019 09:08

I'd be tempted to accept the next parcel or two, take them round & try to get a look into the house and check on the kids (from a domestic & welfare perspective).
(Up to you if you want to accept more parcels after that.)

I hope the 11yo's mental health is ok, that sounds like he has some pretty tough times if everyone else is stoned (let alone what it's doing to both boys' longer term health).

Perhaps you could make his school pastoral lead aware of that aspect of his home life, its probably not helping any desire he has to go to school every day.

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 09:14

Since moving in we have discovered that the mum likes to smoke cannabis every night with 14 year old.

Does the 14 year old actually smoke the cannabis?

Ifonly86 · 20/11/2019 09:20

Do you know which school? If so can you get in touch with their safe guarding officer and report your concerns? They won’t know it’s you. Agree not to accept anymore parcels either.

TOPPOT · 20/11/2019 09:22

Report concerns to Social Services but don't give your name because they might tell them.
Sounds like potential emotional abuse of the 11 year old.

Original poster
numberonecook · 20/11/2019 09:24

@Vilanelle I am! Haha. Truth be told it is hard not to hear what’s being screamed from the house and every evening when I’m putting the bins out or going to the car it’s hard not to smell the cannabis. They sit in the bloody garden with the gate open so don’t try to hide it. The car pulling up is noticeable as we live on a quiet cul-de-sac. So If that makes me nosey then yer I am lol

The younger boy doesn’t ever seem to be in school so I don’t even know what school he goes to! The older boy is always in school because he goes to the same school as my daughter and they arrive home at similar times (not in the same year and don’t talk to eachother). The younger boy plays out in the street with his cricket ball Angry And seems happy enough then. But as you say who knows

14 year old had been seen by my DH smoking with her yes.

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 20/11/2019 09:26

Did anyone else think of Matilda?

CoraPirbright · 20/11/2019 09:29

I would be reporting your concerns anonymously to SS. Sounds awful for the poor 11 year old and will build into a bigger picture given that the council already seem to be aware.

Original poster
numberonecook · 20/11/2019 09:38

@EnglishRose13 yer except Matilda took in packages not refused to answer the door so her neighbour had them clogging up her hallway haha

OP posts:
judgemeallyouwant · 20/11/2019 09:40

The car could be from the council as most attendance officers are employed through the council. I would definitely contact ss and then the police regarding the cannabis.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/11/2019 09:41

My first question would are you going to report them to social services and the school?

SafferUpNorth · 20/11/2019 09:46

Poor 11 year old!!! Sounds like something's very wrong there. Unless he's supposedly being home schooled?? If it was me I'd be reporting anonymously to Social Services either way. There's probably history there.

malmi · 20/11/2019 10:08

Open a parcel

Vilanelle · 20/11/2019 10:10

Did anyone else think of Matilda

yep

thenightsky · 20/11/2019 10:10

When the younger boy is out playing in the cul-de-sac, can you not go out to your car or bins and strike up a conversation with him? Just something casual... 'no school today then?'

Apolloanddaphne · 20/11/2019 10:15

If I am honest, I am a social worker and I would be passing on my concerns to SS about the 14yo smoking cannabis and the 11 yo being scapegoated and not in school. You can do it anonymously through the NSPCC if you want to.

Greencustard · 20/11/2019 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Havaina · 20/11/2019 10:30

I would report to social services and also speak to school to say older brother has a younger brother who doesn’t go to school.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 20/11/2019 10:30

Please report to SS.

EdinaMonsoon · 20/11/2019 10:34

You absolutely must report this to SS. The 11yo is being scapegoated by their own family & the fact that they aren't in school much is worrying.

GenderfreeJoe · 20/11/2019 10:41

Maybe the 11 year old is homeschooled. It's not illegal to home school, or leave a capable 11 year old at home.

scoobydoo1971 · 20/11/2019 10:45

The children may be registered as home schooled, as the school attendance officer would be making regular visits otherwise. Local authorities are usually pretty fast at dealing with truancy these days, and the threat of fines is usually enough to get parents to comply with an attendance order. However, given what you have heard with regards to the youngest child then you really must call the NSPCC to report this. Social workers would not bat an eyelid at cannabis being smoked at home by the mother, but they may take an interest in any parent allowing their teen to partake at home. The abuse of the youngest child also needs addressing. If its loud enough, perhaps you could record the abuse of the youngest child on your phone or similar device and send it to your local social services department. That may escalate the investigation if they can hear what is going on. Since you have had people sat in cars outside, this family maybe on some official radar already...like the police observing for drug dealing, or DWP looking at benefit fraud.

Swipe left for the next trending thread