Another Xmas one.. Gifts that are useful rather than a treat.. Not extravagant Parents / dc.

[OnTheFenceWithMostViews]

We've always grown up that what ever we've needed we've had.
I've never been into perfume, make up etc..
I'm happy. With pjs, even primark doesn't phase me. or something for the home.. That makes me happy!
My friend said its boring and that I need to live a little abs enjoy the finer things! .. And said she likes her expensive perfume from her parents or dh etc.. Which is what makes her happy. Yet she doesn't go many places to use it.. She just likes to own it and display it iyswim

I've asked my Mum for lounge curtains.. Boring but makes me happy

Equally my dad has asked for a George forman and mum money or voucher towards something she wants.
I also don't spend much on parents and inlaws.. Not due to funds.. Because they simply don't want anything and have no expectations in massive gifts . My inlaws wanted cutlery and some shortbread,

I now feel bad that my gifts are shit and boring.. Despite thats what everyone's asked for.

It's not boring to them though. I always buy from amazon wish list for my brother and SIL as their tastes are so different to mine. It's always books, DVDs or CDs. Boring to me but they always love whatever it is so I figure if it makes them happy then that's all that matters :)

The thing is you would have extra cash to spend on yourself because you haven't shelled out for the lounge curtains / cutlery whatever, so I've never really seen the argument.
We buy "better" versions of stuff, so posh bamboo socks instead of bog standard socks for example. Still cladding my trotters but a little bit special as well.

A gift someone has specifically asked for won't be boring to that individual, it may be boring to someone who has no interest in the specific item but that's entirely different.

My siblings and I always tell each other what we would like because that means we all get something we want. This Christmas for example one of my sister's has asked me to get her the Belleek Living cutlery service, to me that would be a horrific gift, I mean it's knives, forks and spoons but to her it is something she covets, she really wants it because she likes it and she will put it to good use.

Your gifts to your in-laws and parents are what they want and as such they will be happy to receive them.

If people have asked for something then that is what they want, you deciding that the presents are boring and getting them something you think is a treat may well backfire as it will be your idea of a treat, not necessarily theirs. If I was asked what did I want and said something specific then got something else I would be wondering why you bothered asking me.

Everyone has different taste & values different things so if you get them what they've asked for you can't go far wrong. Present etiquette is buy people what they like, not inflict your taste & choices on them: & vice versa.

Thanks. I was always happy to buy what people want, likewise ims excited for my new curtains.
It was just my friend made me feel a bit crap about it.
It's just how we've always done it.

I get this too. Some people seem to be unable to accept that the things that they enjoy are not universal. I don't wear perfume, make up or jewellery either so gifts like that are completely wasted on me, yet some people insist that I need a "treat". Well they are not a treat to me and I don't really appreciate being told what I should enjoy. The gift should be about the recipient not the giver. I wouldn't buy my SIL sportswear because I think she could do with taking a bit more exercise, I will get her earrings because that's what she wants. However she will get me perfume or similar because she apparently knows I "need" a girly treat.
I am expecting massive fallout from some quarters this year as one of my teenage sons only wants money and I have said that is ok. I am not normally terribly keen on money as a gift to be honest but he is saving up for some new (well, new to him) wheels for his bike. If the ten or so more distant relatives each gave him a tenner instead of a Lynx gift set then that would be a great step towards his target.I've told him that if he saves £250 then I will pay the rest. He would happily go without anything on Christmas Day if it means he gets the wheels by the Spring. But I know I will get told that he needs lots of presents to open because others cant see that what is important to him is different to what is important to them.
Ignore your friend OP. You and your family sound very respectful of each others' wishes and feelings.

I’ve asked for a meat slicer and a set of trolley bags this year among my list - if I want something more luxury I tend to but it myself , I hate people buying me perfume as I tend to stick to one or two and a lot don’t suit me