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AIBU?

Tell I am being unreasonable about Christmas

27 replies

twitterusername · 19/11/2019 22:14

Who would spend 4hrs in the M25 Traffic jam and then 4Hrs in an old age peoples home? To have your disabled Autistic teen shouted at by your sister in law and have your snide brother in law comment on all the lovely family heir looms he has snaffled away. Really who would spend Christmas like this or tell I am being unreasonable about Christmas? My mother in law has dementia who only remembers times when they were poor. My father in law talks about subjects you have got the foggiest idea with a social communication difficulty. As you can I am not looking forward to Christmas and would rather stay home alone. Please discuss xxx

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BlackeyedSusan · 19/11/2019 22:20

Stay home on your own with your disabled child. Put their needs first. That's your job.

OMGicantbelieveeit · 19/11/2019 22:26

I would be reluctant to spend 4hrs in a car on Xmas day to visit relatives that I actually liked so certainly wouldn't be willing to do it for ones that I don't like!

twitterusername · 19/11/2019 22:26

Thank-you darling.

OP posts:

Aderyn19 · 19/11/2019 22:30

Stay home. Agree that your priority is your child. Even if you didn't have children, no one owes their ILs Christmas!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/11/2019 22:30

I would be staying home, without question. Perhaps you could visit on another day with just your family.

Dollymixture22 · 19/11/2019 22:40

Last year I cancelled all obligations and did what I wanted, spent time with people I loved. It was bliss.

Make yourself and you children happy. You deserve it.

TheBigFatMermaid · 19/11/2019 22:43

Prioritise your child! Let the others crack on!

blackteasplease · 19/11/2019 22:44

For the sake of your teen definitely stay home. The rest I could get past, but this is a good reason.

TheMidasTouch · 19/11/2019 22:46

How does your DH feel about it?

MoonlightBonnet · 19/11/2019 22:47

Is your DH insisting on this? Why can’t you and your DS stay at home?

plightofthealbatross · 19/11/2019 22:48

It's your Christmas, too, and your son's.

Stay home and treat each other well.

If your DH is daft enough to feel he has to go, then let him join his extended family.

Luckingfovely · 19/11/2019 22:51

Um. Yes. Stay home. That's it. Announce it, and refuse to think about it again.

SimpleSimonSaysU2 · 19/11/2019 22:54

We had Christmas' like that when I was young. I couldn't wait for them to end. Now I miss all those people being around. Would love to see them again. ☹️

EL8888 · 19/11/2019 22:56

I wouldn’t be going as it sounds like a nightmare. Maybe mysteriously you can wake up with the flu Christmas morning?

daffodilbrain · 19/11/2019 23:02

Crikey I wouldn't be going . Just say it's too far for DS to travel and it's his Xmas too. Suggest you visit before or after

scoobydoo1971 · 19/11/2019 23:06

I feel that a really bad winter 'flu' ought to hit your household a few days before Christmas that makes it unsafe to travel (like others have suggested)...life is too short for struggling with motorways in December, don't you think?

Bluerussian · 19/11/2019 23:08

Stay at home with your child who should NOT be shouted at.
It's a sad business for the elderly lady with dementia but as you say, she won't know you're not there.

Travis1 · 19/11/2019 23:09

All of the nopes

morriseysquif · 19/11/2019 23:10

Just because they are family, doesn't mean you have to like them or spend any time with them. They sound horrible, spend the way you would like to.

Collision · 19/11/2019 23:11

So don’t do it.

You are a grown up with a mind of your own and you should use it.

No. That doesn’t work for me. I’m staying home with Jack and watching TV and drinking sherry.

Crack on with your celebrations and I will catch up with you another time.

Purpleartichoke · 19/11/2019 23:15

Your teen comes first
Visit the nursing home on a day that traffic isn’t a nightmare. Even offer to go twice in exchange for skipping Christmas Day. Spreading out the family visits so you don’t all show up on the same day and then they have no visitors for long spells of time is actually a good idea anyway.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 19/11/2019 23:15

I'lll tell you YABU if that's what you want. But, I'd be lying.

It's a truth that visiting elderly relatives in a care home full of vulnerable people when you feel flu-ey is ill advised.

Everyone knows that

GetOffTheTableMabel · 19/11/2019 23:18

Absolutely not. No.

mumwon · 19/11/2019 23:23

I am not joking - grandmas aren't just for Christmas - best to arrange to go by yourself for short periods at other times of year - as frequently as is feasible. & you obviously cant go if you develop flu/cold/v&d

myhandsareverycold · 19/11/2019 23:27

If this was a friend of yours and she asked the same what would your answer be?

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