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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I leave?

3 replies

RedlynRoes · 19/11/2019 20:09

I am currently in a relationship with my son's father and have been together for 6 crazy years. Recently, I am wondering if he is actually the right guy for me but I am so torn because I'd hate for my son to grow up in a broken home.
I didn't grow up with my parents, I came to America with my dad but he couldn't care for me so I went to live with a different family. I always felt a need to be loved and to feel like I belonged. I didn't get that growing up. I desperately want my son to be in a loving home where both his biggest supporters live.
2 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I thought for good. He was an abusive person mentally and physically. On the day I left him, he said,
"I've thought of ways of killing you"
After a year he charmed me and I found myself right back in his grasp.
In 2019, I lost my dad in May and my mother in July. I am desperately trying to hold on to any sense of family I have left and that's my son and my boyfriend.
Since the death of my parents, he has torn me down mentally and I don't want to be in a relationship any longer. I am afraid of the extent he will go to. Currently contemplating and lost.

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 19/11/2019 21:10

Can you contact women’s aid or a similar organisation. Sorry for your losses and that you are in this situation.

lexiepuppy · 19/11/2019 21:39

Are you still in the U.S or U.K?

You have had a really rough year losing both your parents, but you must not stay with this abusive bully.

It is really upsetting to read that he threatens you and that you went back to him.
For the sake of your DC you must delete and block your BF out of your life before he takes away any remaining self esteem that you have.

You need to build yourself back up.
Get some counselling.
Do the Freedom Programme.
Contact Women's Aid.

Buy the book by Lundy Bancroft- Why does he do that?

Love yourself more. I hope you have support from family and friends. Flowers

TimeTravellingDiamond · 19/11/2019 22:23

OP 💐

Please, please get some help for yourself and your son. You cannot stay with this abuser.

Are you still in the US? I have no idea how things are there but there must be Women's Aid or something like it? Please get in touch with a charity or organisation that is there for domestic violence victims.

You can and must leave him and life WILL be so much better. But please get the help and protection you need to do this.

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