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AIBU?

to ask what you would like your kids to be told?

22 replies

sparks324 · 19/11/2019 13:23

DP is a teacher and has volunteered me to come into his school to do a presentation for the pupil in year 11.

I am meant to volunteer for my work's corporate social responsibility so this worked fine.

The school want me to come in because I am a box ticker: young carer, pupil premium, ethnic minority, female. I now work in finance in a male-dominated sector, top 1% income bracket for my age (for my age, I repeat!), volunteer regularly etc.

So - what would you want your kids to be told / what would like discussed if this were at your children's school?

I've thought about a background on my career but quite frankly, would they care? Do I mention barriers? Do I go for something inspiring?

To make matters worse, DP thought it was a great idea to tell them I am his partner so that's probably all they're going to care about.

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 19/11/2019 13:25

I wouldn't mention that you're his partner if you want them to remember anything else you say.

InACheeseAndPickle · 19/11/2019 13:27

I would discuss what your job involves and salary if you're happy. What you needed to do to get that job (Eg qualifications, first graduate job, career progression). You could also discuss barriers you faced getting there and how you were able to overcome them.

holly40 · 19/11/2019 13:42

Yes, I think it would be interesting to hear how you overcame or manoeuvred the barriers.
And I'd want to know how the choices I make now a yr11 directly impact on future career possibilities.
Don't mention you're his partner until the very end! If at all.

sparks324 · 19/11/2019 13:44

I would never mention I'm his partner, he has already told them! 'my other half will be doing your assembly on X December'

OP posts:
Areyoufree · 19/11/2019 13:48

The school want me to come in because I am a box ticker: young carer, pupil premium, ethnic minority, female. I now work in finance in a male-dominated sector, top 1% income bracket for my age (for my age, I repeat!), volunteer regularly etc.

I think that says it all, really. I think that your achievements fit in with non-typical female goals, and it would be useful to show young females that they can be career-focussed, and financially motivated. I think that women are expected to choose careers based on practicalities, or passion (i.e. caring professions), and it is good to show that ambition is also a female trait.

Obviously I think the volunteering is important too, but I don't think that children will see that as being unusual - especially for a woman. Schools tend to focus a lot on charity.

Stuckinarut81 · 19/11/2019 13:55

Do you have DC OP?

AgeShallNotWitherHer · 19/11/2019 13:57

Tell them exactly what you do in a typical day. Give them "stories" about what an XXXer actually does. That will give them the best chance of knowing what they can expect and what they might enjoy in future.

(Even as adults do most people really understand what others do on a day to day basis?)

inwood · 19/11/2019 14:00

Tell them how you have achieved what you have, inspire them that they can do it too.

Obligatorync · 19/11/2019 14:04

I'd tell them exactly how you did it. Go into detail I mean. Did you plan? How? How did you choose what to do? What was easy, what was hard. Is it worth it? Why? Why do you think you have succeeded? Is there anything you'd have done differently. Try to give them a flavour of what your life was like at their age and what you were doing to prepare for the future etc.

TwattingDog · 19/11/2019 14:10

How do you feel about using inequality and privilege as your teaching subject?

I find this video very powerful.



Maybe then go into your successes as well as your hurdles? There will be kids there with so many secrets they can't or don't share about their lives, and others smug as fuck about being the beautiful or wealthy kid. Help them understand its not a level playing field?
TwattingDog · 19/11/2019 14:10

There are other videos done by British videographers too.

chockaholic72 · 19/11/2019 14:53

I'd try and relate to the kids early on with what you do and how it impacts them - bring it down to their level. So in my case, before I go into my background, I'd tell them that I currently work for the government, trying to make housing affordable, so that when they are adults and earning a salary, we can try and make it easier for them to buy a house. (Not exactly riveting, but "accelerating the housing industry" isn't exactly something they might get). Then go onto my background, what I used to do, why I do what I do, and why I like it.

Then drop the bombshell that their teacher snores or picks his nose, or eats cereal in front of the TV in his pants or whatever... :-)

GettingABitDesperateNow · 19/11/2019 15:03

I'm guessing they want all those boxes ticked as these are statistically the things that mean pupils are less likely to succeed. So I'd maybe focus on your home life at the age they are. Eg if you had caring responsibilities. If you had nowhere to study and had to go to the library or ask a teacher to use their classroom after school. If no one in your family stayed in education past A levels and didnt expect you to etc. If you were a minority race at your school and how that affected you. So that the pupils who are in the same boat maybe find it easier to identify with you and are therefore more likely to believe that they could do what you've done? Could you do something around asking them questions to try and make them examine what they think is holding themselves back? Or is there too many of them. Does your partner not have a brief of what he wants you to do?

TeenPlusTwenties · 19/11/2019 15:13

Something like this?

Tell them what you do, a vague earnings bracket, and how important the job is.

Then say 'I bet a number of you think that to get this I must have had a privileged upbringing?'

Then go onto what barriers you have faced and how your drive / whatever has helped you achieve.

Then say it's in their hands, work hard, take opportunities, etc

mbosnz · 19/11/2019 15:42

Along with barriers - I'd like my kids to hear what things and which people, helped you on your journey.

churchandstate · 19/11/2019 15:44

How did you actually get to where you are? What did you work hardest at? What assumptions did you make that were wrong? What do you wish you had done differently? What did you think would be easier? What’s next?

SeaViewBliss · 19/11/2019 15:47

I’m not sure if the school would endorse this but I would like kids to hear that it doesn’t matter if you don’t fit into an academic box. Life is about finding your strengths and doing something you enjoy. I would want them to know that ‘success’ is not a defined thing and you can set your own goals for what success looks like.

Xenia · 19/11/2019 15:49

Good suggestions above. Try to involve them. Perhaps start by asking puty your hand up if you know what job you want to do. Then ask one of those that do what they chose and why they chose it. Then explain your job and why it is good.

Try to make them laugh.
remember most of them won't listen to a word and will tell their friends it is boring - that is just how teenagers are at time but a few may listen in!

pandora206 · 19/11/2019 15:52

How about going through the positive influences in your life (going back to school and early family life and well as more recently), the barriers you've faced and how you have overcome them?
Did you go a conventional route or a more meandering path?
What motivates you?
What advice would you give your 16 year old self if you could go back?

sparks324 · 19/11/2019 19:03

@Stuckinarut81 nope! I'm 25, kids are a way off

OP posts:
sparks324 · 19/11/2019 19:03

@TwattingDog this is great! Love this

OP posts:
TwattingDog · 20/11/2019 08:42
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