WIBU to quietly unsubscribe from this work WhatsApp group?

[Waytooearly]

So everyone in my office is on an official WhatsApp group. That's fine, sharing news and work-related practical stuff.

But for some reason there's a second group that was created, I'm still not sure why, someone lost their phone. The second group has everyone but the new guy.

I've put it on mute and "hidden" it, but still check it because there's the occasional work - related tidbit on it.

Here's why I want to unsubscribe :

1.new guy is excluded (he knows and doesn't mind, but still)
2.It's become a real 'gals chat' scene with baby and husband stuff. I like all of them, but I like to keep work and close friends separate.

1. They're all a different religion from me. Which is nice, faith is faith, we have really interesting chats about it. But our boss is some kind of leader in their religion, and at times her posts veer from "here's an inspiring quote" to "now I'm going to preach at you". And the rest respond with, "Amen, so true".
2. The boss and one team member make personal plans to get togethersociallyon the group. I presume since it's on the group I could just go, "Great, I'll come too!"

Like I say, I have to keep one eye on it but I'm thinking of saying something like "I've got that many groups on the go Im getting myself mixed up"!

When someone leaves any WhatsApp group I'm on it clearly says 'Jessica left the group' or whatever. I'm not sure you can 'quietly' leave.

Sorry, just to be clear, we have an "official" WhatsApp group that's all normal work-related stuff, and then a second one missing the one male staff member, with the problems outlined above.

Just go into the settings and mute it, then you can go in and out as you need to and none of them will know.

Yeah, you're right.

Is there a way I could just be like, "Wow too many groups"?

Just I don't see how I can rise the above without it being A Statement.

As I say it is muted.

But the occasional work-related info is there so I have to scroll through all the messages, which defeats the purpose.

It's like 20 messages of boss posting a photo of her children and saying they're successful because she raised them in the faith and then the others going, "Woowww".

@Waytooearly you could say you need to leave it as you're running out of storage on your phone for all the messages (play dumb to the fact you can clear the messages and remain in the group!)

I don't think you can do it in a way which isn't a bit of a statement. No-one is going to buy the "wow too many groups" excuse. I would think muting is the way to go.

Full disclosure: I'm trying with varying success to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to bear a child. Not that they know this, but still.

I recently unsubscribed from a school mums WhatsApp group. I agonised over the decision for months even though I am renowned for being a strong minded, fairly direct woman who knows her own mind! There’s a long backstory which included low level bullying amongst the children and I took a conscious decision to reduce contact with one of the mums IRL. I felt a bit two faced being on the group chat reading the messages (even though it was on mute) and never responding with comments when she posted messages. Finally I told one or two that I’m close to that I was going to come off it so that when I did, they could just say “it’s not really her thing” if asked. I’m not a big user of social media, never been in FB etc so I think they could write it off as being that. I did leave after posting a very general statement saying I was coming off a number of group chats but still happy to get direct messages. All I can say is : The Relief! I’m on other group chats for family and kids’ sports but this one felt so invasive and not really me as there were so many messages. Also, I think it was really noticeable I wasn’t posting and others had stopped too so I think I was having a negative influence on those who would otherwise want to keep chatting.
That was long but in summary - I think I did them a favour!!

I’d just say you keep getting too many notifications and your phone keeps beeping all the time so you are cutting back on the groups. Then leave and when told you could have muted the group instead, feign ignorance.

Send a message to the "unofficial" group saying something like
We seem to have two work groups running, as the other one includes everyone could we post all of the work info in there, I'll leave this one now as I've got too many groups on the go.
Makes the point that someone is excluded and you get to leave without it being a big deal.

They already know it's on mute! I got busted when I returned from holiday and had clearly missed some news about one of their kids (nothing bad, something along the lines of a school play). They were like, "Ooo oh she muted us!"

Only two more decades to retirement.

What @WantToBeMum said-nobody can then get offended.

Actually Wanttobemum, I kind of like that script. I could do that.

Just read your follow up posts. Preaching religion in a work group is a massive no, a good enough reason to leave the group.
And, sorry to read your child struggles... I'm in the same position - years of failed fertility, trying to come to terms with the reality. Hugs to you.

Sorry! That you had it on mute went in one ear and out of the other. Apologies.

Own it. Leave and stand up for your feelings.

Lol. You have me on mute?

I'm travelling soon. I could be like, "So many groups, weve already got one group with whole team, I'm struggling to keep track especially on the road..."

Are people that invested in watsapp? It's not like defriending somebody is it?

Yeah I'm sensitive of having them interpret it as me saying: "I'm sick of your baby pics and pompous preaching"

Which is exactly how I feel, not incidentally.

They sound so.... Wrapped up in their own stuff they probably won't register that's why. They don't sound v self aware.

It gives me a general feeling of unease too when work colleagues become soooo chummy so quickly. I've always found that crashes and burns pretty spectacularly,eventually. I'm trying to steep away quietly.

Just say am on too many groups just sticking to the one group for work related stuff from now on - big smile face. & leave...

Ah, just leave the chat. If they’re halfway reasonable types then they’ll know that the religion chat isn’t for you.