Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To ask for the mumsnet jury, should I change my kids primary school

14 replies

givemebooks · 19/11/2019 10:05

Good morning my DH suggested we put this question and its options to the mumsnet jury as to be honest in the last week we have talked ourselves in and out of this so many times its doing our heads in!

We have 3 boys with 2 still at primary one in y4 one in y6

Eldest of the two in y6 just passed 11 plus and is doing well

youngest in y4 has additional needs we are on the camhs waiting list for ASD assessment and he has been consistently behind his peers by 2 years since he started he was diagnosed with global developmental delay at 2 years old had full nursery support and extra funding

Youngest now has ZERO support in primary school we have not seen an IEP(think they are called something different now!) or intervention plan since he started! No diagnosis no support.

We have had meetings raised our concerns but nothing he gets stuck with 2 other boys who have 1 on 1 support, which is all well and good but he has no support under his name which will not help him when he heads to secondary

For further info our eldest boy who is at secondary now was let down by this school as well he had zero support again told us it was our parenting and he is now in secondary with an EHCP, full support and has been diagnosed with ASD he was at this school for 7 years they did nothing and said it was our parenting!

So sorry for how long this is! If you have got this far the question is should we move our kids out of this school?

We have the opportunity places are available but our main worry about doing it is that our boys are so so happy at this school they have friends and love it! Also it is a longer journey from our home.

Do we move them knowing our youngest will be better supported?

Do we wait until our y6 boy has left at the end of this year?

Do we put them been happy over support for the time being and push the school again?

Is enough enough?

Thanks for any opinions

OP posts:

givemebooks · 19/11/2019 10:06

And all my paragraphs disappeared?? Apologies!

OP posts:

Boom45 · 19/11/2019 10:09

Why do you have to move them both? I know school run will be a nightmare but it's only for 2 terms until the eldest gets to secondary school.
My mum moved my younger brother because our primary was dreadful - I managed because I was lucky mainly but my brother got bullied and the school did nothing at all. She claims moving him was the best thing she ever did and wished she did it sooner


Gatehouse77 · 19/11/2019 10:12

Tough one.

From my perspective the decision to send my children to school was for them to provide a good education. The social side is a (large) by product and something that can be more easily redressed outside of school.

We've had times when we've discussed if we've made the right choice and it always came back to whether we were happy with the actual education and the approach to it. We were and that's why we didn't move them.

If I felt the school was failing them in providing the education I wouldn't hesitate to move one or both.

How feasible would it be to move the younger one only?


givemebooks · 19/11/2019 10:18

We were more concerned that to move the youngest you have to give the authority a reason why.

we worried that say well basically your failing our y4 son would lead to them make life difficult for our y6 boy

OP posts:

Gatehouse77 · 19/11/2019 10:21

Do you know where the younger one would go? Is it worth speaking to them first as they may be able to help you with the wording on the form ?


CornedBeef451 · 19/11/2019 10:40

DS moved schools last May when he was in Y3. I was worried about filling in the form because the school can contest it. It turned out to be ridiculously easy, I just put in one of the suggested responses shown on the form and it got approved immediately.

We moved him because of the high number of disruptive children in his year that weren't being supported properly and it was impacting on his work and enjoyment of school.

DD was in Y6 and had a dreadful year due to constant low level bullying. That definitely made me more keen to move DS because we'd all just had enough of the school and wanted nothing more to do with it, despite it being 4 minutes walk away.

DS loves his new school and has settled in really well and DD is now at senior school, luckily not with the girls who were bullying her.

Make the move for the younger ones somehow, they will make new friends really quickly and it is more important they are supported and able to learn.


Waveysnail · 19/11/2019 10:41

I'd push the school more first. Try national autistic society or ipsea for legal advice. I'm in different part of the uk so not sure of the processes to apply for ehcp. Nas or ipsea can advise. I'd be reluctant to move a happy asd child from a school as mental health is a huge part of their schooling. I'd exhaust all avenues to get support. It's all about pushing unfortunately. School have very limited resources and only children causing significant problems or parents who create the most fuss get anywhere - sad but true


ViaSacra · 19/11/2019 11:13

I think it would be very unfair to move your Year 6 boy at this point, when he’s only got 2 terms left.


negomi90 · 19/11/2019 12:53

Keep year 6 in place, move the other 2 and remember it's only 2 terms of hellish school runs and pick ups.


BlackSwanGreen · 19/11/2019 12:57

I definitely wouldn’t move your year 6 boy at this point. Either wait until the end of the year or have them in different schools for a couple of terms.


Fightingmycorner2019 · 19/11/2019 16:11

Probably an airy fairy answer but happiness is so critical
My friends son was almost suicidal due to not having needs met . That’s a terrible situation
I would stay put personally and look for support
Outside school and revisit in a few months


TheMasterBaker · 19/11/2019 16:22

Would you Y6 child be happy to move? I removed my eldest in Y6 due to ongoing bullying, no support etc and her mental health was taking a massive nosedive. She is so much happier after moving. I'm also moving my other DD who is currently in Y6, after Christmas. She is very happy to do so. If she wasn't happy to move, then we'd keep her put and just do longer school runs back to the old school. If you feel you can get your youngest the support they need, go for it. Can you discuss it with the Y6 child and see how they would feel about moving?


arethereanyleftatall · 19/11/2019 16:34

My job means that I teach about 20 different school classes per week. On average nowadays, in a class of about 30 kids, at least 3 need extra help, ideally 121. And that just isn't financially possible. My point being, it's possible the school he moves to will be just the same.


stucknoue · 19/11/2019 16:35

I would just move the younger one starting in January. Older one is ok to travel alone at 10 ( mine took the city bus alone by then as they change school at 10 here)

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?