Aibu to ask about the constant music in my head 😫

[AlanPartridgesSausageSandwich]

Ever since I can remember I have suffered with intrusive thoughts, recently these focused on my relationship (Will he leave me? Does he really love me? Do I even love him?) or they would be random (my dog/son being hit by a truck)
About a month ago these incessant thoughts became too much for me and I began having extreme anxiety and panic attacks complete with feelings of utter doom and the feeling I would never feel sane again.

After a particularly trying day of panic my partner arranged a doctors appointment for me in which the GP prescribed 50mg of Sertraline and 20mg of propranolol. The side effects of the sertraline were hard going for the first two weeks, I had heightened anxiety, insomnia, suppressed appetite and I became such an Olympic yawner that I swear my jaw touched the floor every time.
Going into the third week these things started to lift and the intrusive thoughts, although still there, were not so debilitating to me.

Now I find I have songs playing in my head constantly from when I wake up to when I go to bed. All different songs, easily triggered by hearing words or phrases ( I.e saw the word Holy and now have Holy Diver by Ronnie James fucking Dio stuck in my head)

My partner thinks this could be normal as he has lots of music going through his mind, what with him being a musician and all.
This is a very new thing for me though and it's driving me batty.
Is this something to worry about or is this my new normal??
Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Thanks in advance and Yay, this is my first ever mumsnet post ( finally driven to posting by the music!) smile
I have also posted this in mental health, I hope that's OK.

In the throws of a particularly bad period of anxiety I had Dr Ranj's theme tune on a loop. It was fucking awful.

CBT and mindfulness helped me a lot.... On top of the sertraline.

When I was on sertraline my new 'brain' experience was very vivid, random and constantly changing lights and images whenever I closed my eyes, like someone had turned a TV on in front of my eyes when I was trying to get to sleep etc. It either settled down after about 6 months or I got so used to it I stopped noticing.

I always have music in my head, and always have had, but your description of your experience is very like my 'images'. If the intrusive thoughts and anxiety are now manageable I would personally try to tolerate the music.

I agree that if it’s new to you and clearly connected to the medication then you need to mention it to the gp.

But, it is normal for me too. I don’t always have something playing in my mind, but I quite often suddenly realise that a song has been playing for ages without me really noticing, something just happens to bring it into focus. I also get word association songs all the time. My children just roll their eyes when I start singing a song containing a word they’ve just said. I think I did about three in a row while we did the washing up after dinner today.

Intrusive thoughts and repetitive music/words in your head are classic OCD signs. Practise mindful acceptance of the songs in your head. There is no problem with them being there, the issue comes from how you react to them.

This is normal for a lot of people.

Could it be that you are paying too much attention to them, and reacting too much to them? If you try just accepting them, and not thinking about them/focussing on them too much you may find they become less bothersome.

Cross post with Pukka.

Practise mindful acceptance of the songs in your head. There is no problem with them being there, the issue comes from how you react to them.

Exactly this. Mindful acceptance allows us to not fixate, and so move on.

So all the posters saying this is normal does the music constantly change?
Mine is constantly changing. As soon as I wake up its there and I've cycled through about 12 different songs by lunchtime.
I just want a bit of peace and quiet.

I've experienced ear worms before but this feels different and intrusive.
I'm hoping it's an unusual side effect from the drug and will calm down.

Mine changes very often, though I sometimes get the same one stuck for a few hours which is annoying. Listening to it tends to "unstick" it.

I also get music that isn't a song I know, just a random tune that will stick around for a while and get replaced by something else.

Occasionally I'll hear a word or phrase that it used in a song I know and then I'll start hearing that song, sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere.

Having on background noise like the TV or listening to a busy street/traffic can make it go away when it's bothering me, but the majority of the time I either don't mind it, or like it.

I always have music in my head, but I have always had that and it has to do with me being very musical. If it has just started, then you should chat to your GP again.

OP, what is your worry about the music? Can you pinpoint what is troubling you about it?

@Tolleshunt

It's the fact that it wasn't there before and now it's constant. I have a tendency to completely catastrophise things and I'm panicking that this is how my mind will be forever and I'm stuck like this.

I have catastrophised with every new mental side effect so far.

OP I have this too. It is called Intrusive Musical Thoughts. My psychiatrist told me it was a form of OCD. It isn't the sane as ear worm or just having music in your head. It is incredibly intrusive so I feel for you. At its worst the only thing that stopped it was the OCD dosage of Prozac. Clomipramine also really helped and is another anti-depressant that can be used for OCD. Do go back to the GP if it is bothering you that much. It drives me to distraction and keeps me awake for hours. There are articles on this on the Internet

It's the fact that it wasn't there before and now it's constant. I have a tendency to completely catastrophise things and I'm panicking that this is how my mind will be forever and I'm stuck like this.

I have catastrophised with every new mental side effect so far.

I thought you would say this, but wanted to check.

I’ve been there, and it’s awful. But there is a solution, though it’s not instant. Simply, the more you focus on, and worry about the symptom, the more you will get of it. By focussing and worrying, you are training your brain to notice it, bring it to the fore and ramp it up further (it will get louder and more intrusive...). If you panic and desperately try to push it away, the same thing happens.

The key is to accept the symptom is there, with as much grace, calmness and even amusement, as you can. Be curious about it, explore it, even tune in to it. At first, it may seem to get worse. This is completely normal, and not something you need to worry about. Over time, however, you will notice that it generally will get quieter and less frequent (with the odd blip where it seems worse again- totally normal and don’t panic!). Then you will realise it no longer bothers you at all, and some time later you will realise you haven’t had the symptom for ages, but didn’t notice it had gone.

The only way to get it to go away is to accept it is there now, and not be desperate for it to go, paradoxically.

People with obsessive/intrusive thoughts can find their thinking is less flexible than others - they get stuck on one thought that would only have passed fleetingly through the minds of those who are not obsessive.

Have you had any therapy? I found a combination of mindfulness, meta cognitive therapy and ACT worked well for me. CBT was a disaster, as it encourages you to engage with the thoughts, when what is actually required is to disengage.

There are meta cognitive brain training audios available for free, which can help you train your brain to relearn flexibility. If you are interested I could dig out some links for you when I get back home.

Ultimately, this could be down to the meds or not. It could be that the meds have excited some neutrons that are now firing randomly. Hopefully it will settle, but the tips above will help regardless of the cause, and more generally for obsessive tendencies (i’m guessing that if this one were to resolve, another one would take its place very rapidly).

I had a very similar experience for many years. I didn't dare tell anyone about them for fear that I would be given a diagnosis of schizophrenia or another serious mental illness. It was very unpleasant images in my case, which caused me to develop OCD characteristics, worrying that I might do something awful. Although the rational side of me knew I wouldn't, as it was all in my head.

I mentioned it to a family friend who is a GP and she told me that my symptoms sounded like PTSD. I'd worked at an immigration law firm dealing with asylum cases from the former Yugoslavia so I knew a bit about PTSD. It made sense, but I couldn't understand why.

Much later, after my DH and I had adopted our DDs, I worked out what was going on. My DSis, who also had young DC, had a very vivid flashback of a serious sexual assault that happened when we were little.

I remembered the incident then, as I had previously been concerned that what I remembered was actually being groomed. I then realised that the images I had were in fact flashbacks and when I stopped fighting against them, the memories of the incident came flooding back, as did my DSis's.

I've spoken about this on other threads and it's not relevant here. To cut a long story short, I processed the memories under EMDR, and as a result the images disappeared.

It was traumatic and led to more distressing memories coming back, but it certainly was a relief to know that I wasn't losing my mind.

Now I'm obviously not suggesting that there's anything like that going on for you. But the fear you describe that you're losing your sanity is something I remember really vividly. My mistake was suffering in silence. Believe me, it's always so much better to ask for help to discover what's going on than to distress yourself worrying that you're going mad.

It was really brave of you to go for help, OP, that's the hardest part.

I can't comment on the music. I do get music in my head, too, but I'm okay with that, it's not distressing like what I went through before. I sing or hum the tune in my head, which helps.

I do think that some posters are missing an important point, however. This is that if you can't stop intrusive thoughts and images (or music) it can feel like you're losing your sanity, which is a scary place to be.

I do think that some posters are missing an important point, however. This is that if you can't stop intrusive thoughts and images (or music) it can feel like you're losing your sanity, which is a scary place to be

Yes, but only if you buy into the idea that that = insanity. Which it doesn’t.

Knowing the symptom is normal and temporary is useful, no? It doesn’t mean we are minimising her distress. On the contrary, we empathise and are keen to help her.

Lizzie what an awful thIng to go through.

I have this too, almost constantly. Interesting that it can be linked to anxiety - for me, I either have a ticker tape in my head constantly replaying anxious thoughts, or incessant music. Usually one part of one song for most of the day.

I've been on SSRIs in the past but not currently.

Yes, but only if you buy into the idea that that = insanity. Which it doesn’t.

I know that now, as I've but for a very long time I didn't.

As I've said, that should read.

Thank you everyone for your replies.

@Tolleshunt that message was a comforting read and really helpful. I will try to follow your advice as best I can. These things always seem insurmountable at first though.
Those links sound helpful, thank you.
Sometimes I feel as if I am doing it to myself, by checking to see if its gone I am bringing it to the forefront.

I have a medicine review the week after next so if it still persists I will mention it to the GP.
The pills are working in a way as my panic has subsided and my general anxiety is less. I hope the GP doesn't think I need to switch tablets as I felt I was making good progress on these and I'm dreading going back to square one on a new pill.

@Lizzie0869 thank you for sharing your very personal story with me. I hope you and your family are doing OK now

@Countrygirl38
How do you cope? Do you ever have moments when your head is quiet?

I love that Dio song :) sorry op, no help here but I feel for you

Thank you for your kind words, OP.

Yes, we're doing okay. DSis and I are both happily married with DC. Tragically, that isn't the case for my DB, who was also abused. His life has been destroyed; he's now 50 and has very serious MH issues.

Our F, who was responsible for all the abuse, is now dead.

The past has taken a tragic toll upon DSis and me, though. My DSIs has PTSD and vaginismus (she's been unable to have full sex, their DC were conceived by artificial insemination. I have PTSD and ME, and I turned out to be infertile, our DDs are adopted.