To not be more happy for her?

[Emibanshie]

A friend I've known for many years is pregnant with her third baby, baby number three is from her current relationship and the first two are from her XH.

She's a brilliant mother which goes without saying and I think the world of her, but her partner is an arsehole. He's controlling and rude to her friends and causes an atmosphere when she has friends visiting or wants to go out without him. He takes steroids which contribute to his crappy moods.

I've congratulated her and told her I'm thrilled for her, and for her and her other DC I am pleased, but I can't shake the feeling that she's going to regret having a baby with this man in particular later on now she's tied to him for life.

AIBU for not being as joyous about her news as I think I should be? I feel alot of guilt for feeling like this, I know my POV is irrelevant anyway but I feel like a shit friend for not jumping for joy, as I know she would if it were me.

I'd probably be concerned too OP but, as you say, not your life.

Have you ever raised your concerns about him?

Why do you need to be jumping for joy? It isn’t your baby.

I felt exactly the same when I heard a friend was expecting a year ago. Her (now ex) DP was a terrible father to his existing childrennd downright nasty to his ex. I wanted to be happy for her but it seemed a terrible place to bring a baby to.

Nothing you or I can do though. If she asked I'd tell her why I'm struggling to be thrilled

You know, plenty of friends of mine had children in unwise circumstances.

You aren't obliged force an emotion you don't feel here, just as long as you completely hide any disapproval which however fair, won't be welcomed

Ok maybe "jumping for joy" was overkill, but we've always been genuinely thrilled for one another with baby news.

She was delighted when I announced my two pregnancies and I feel guilty for not being as happy for her as she is.

She knows how i and some other friends feel about the partner, but none of us expected her to end things on our say so.

I guess ultimately it's her choice who she settles down with, it's just a shame she doesn't realise she deserves alot better.