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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I say something to his messy brother?

30 replies

Lgxo · 18/11/2019 12:40

Ok, so little background. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months, we was previously in a relationship for two years but then broke up for 2 years, to find our way back to each other.

He lives with his brother in a fairly decent sized house, they work away quite a lot. Recently my boyfriend has been working closer to home with his brother working away, so he comes home at weekends. I practically stay every night when my boyfriends working close to home and I stay at weekends regardless,

His brother will come home on a Friday, throw all of his clothes everywhere. In the dining room, on the landing. He won’t wash what he needs until the Sunday evening. He has a washing machine where he stays when he’s working away, so could always use that. I always buy all the washing stuff, softener etc. Anything that’s to do with cleaning I buy. I work 6 days a week and have Mondays off, I usually spend that day cleaning their house and then relaxing. I feel like me & my boyfriend always make sure there is clean towels, toilet roll, bin bags... and his brother doesn’t bother!

His girlfriend stays at the weekend too and she never clears up after herself either! They’ll leave takeaways lying about, mugs of coffee left untouched and general mess everywhere. Basically, he’s dirty!

I’m also 8 weeks pregnant and will more than likely be moving in with them both in the new year, as his brother is fine with it, they’re twins, so very close. It’s also a good way for us to save up money as I’d like to buy my own place in a couple of years. My boyfriend has said he’ll talk to him, but he never does and as the person cleaning up after them both on my one day off, I’m thinking I might have to say something myself...

OP posts:
Havaina · 18/11/2019 15:02

So you’re basically living rent free except for some washing powder and cleaning products?

Are you going to be contributing to the bills and mortgage when you move in?

fedup21 · 18/11/2019 15:05

You’ve been with your boyfriend for 6 months and you’re 2 months pregnant. You’ve already broken up once and you have just moved into a house your boyfriend shares with his brother.

Does anyone else here, read a thread and cen imagine exactly what thread the OP will be posting in 6-12 months time?

Oh, yes indeed!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 18/11/2019 15:11

I always buy all the washing stuff, softener etc. Anything that’s to do with cleaning I buy.

WHY? You don't live there.

Why don't you stay at your house sometimes?

I work 6 days a week and have Mondays off, I usually spend that day cleaning their house and then relaxing

No-one is asking you to do this so just stop. Honestly.

Cornish2 · 18/11/2019 15:34

Maybe stay at your own house and invite your boyfriend round? Meanwhile save up for your own house and leave others to it or they will resent you, they aren't pregnant and don't have any responsibilities so can live as they wish.

pinkyredrose · 18/11/2019 15:40

You're acting like a martyr. Is your boyfriend happy to see you spending a day cleaning his house? If he is then they may be problems ahead. You've already built up the expectation that you'll do the housework.

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