To point out I'm only one person

[Couldcry]

I have 5dc, partner with multiple health issues, a family friend with learning disabilities who has no one else, an elderly woman (no relation, former boss) going through cancer treatment, a disabled mother and 1 dc just diagnosed autistic.
I'm, literally, running around everywhere, making phone calls, doing hospital visits, sorting meds etc etc...
I'm burned out. I want to disappear. No one fucking appreciates anything.
I get grief from all angles, whatever I do

Who’s giving you grief OP?

I get this from my dm. I couldn’t cope with your list

I think that sounds like an awful lot to be dealing with.
Can you take a wee step back, take a look at the whole picture and prioritise?
You can’t do it all, but only you know where you can do a wee bit less.
If you try to keep doing it all, you will cease to cope and everyone will suffer.
Is there any external help you could access for the non-family issues (these are really not your responsibility).
Your children and your own health need to be your priority - other peoples’ needs come after that, if you have capacity.
Take care of yourself x

Sounds like social services need to be more involved op, with your friend and your Mum at least.

The ex boss also isn't your responsibility.

Do your partners needs totally pre lude him fro msharing the parenting load? How old are the kids?

Sending yo us huge hug

People on here can help

I know is sounds mercenary, but can you reduce the number of people relying on you?

Your old boss, what does she need form you and can she get it elsewhere? If she has no family or friends, can you contact a charity to see what emotional support they can provide her? Maybe a befriending service?

The family friend with learning disabilities - what support are they getting form social services? Again, can you contact the relevant charity to see what help they can provide?

You need to be kind to yourself, there is a limit to what you can do and how much you can give. Make a list of all the people who depend on you and prioritise them and their needs. Outsource what you can.

💐

You have to be selfish. You have to look after yourself first. Like of you're on a plane that needs oxygen, you have to put your mask on before helping anyone else.

You first.
Your children second.
Then your husband. Who I hope is in a position to help you with the DC.

After that, you decide how much time you are realisticly able to dedicate to anyone else. You owe them nothing. I know it sounds harsh and selfish, but you're burning out and at this rate won't be in a position to be able to help anyone. Massive hugs you are truly a diamond x

💐 you are kind-hearted op. You are probably a 'doer' and feel good helping. People know this and lean on you... But suddenly you are in over your head and people are used to you doing everything, they are not in the habit of coping, so they pull even harder and don't appreciate what you do give.

You need to slowly make those who are able, take on responsibility themselves. Even though it will be one more pull to put help in place.

Lend an ear to your dp, but let him manage as much as possible.
Find someone to put something in place for your family friend.
Support your former boss with chats, but ask her to set up outside help to get her practical help.
Get all the help possible for your dm maybe involving gp and carers.

...And then focus on you and your dc. Nobody is going to thank you in the long run, if you break down. And trust me, you end up bitter if you continue like this. People quickly don't appreciate help, but expects even more.