eating roast chicken with fingers - AIBU?

[separatebeds]

Husband has gone to bed early as we had a big argument over dinner because he was eating his roast chicken with his fingers again.
It was the wings but when he is constantly telling the kids off for their table manners, I don't think getting greasy hands and licking fingers is setting a very good example.

Was I BU to have pulled him up on this?

You sound controlling, belittling and a nag, not surprised he went to bed ld be fuming too if my DH told me how to eat.

You've argued about how he eats chicken? Surely it's better to ignore how hes eating it rather than have a massive argument in front of the kids?

How on earth do you eat wings with a knife and fork ?
Wings are the chefs or washer-ups perks when its been a full Sunday dinner in this house .

Licking fingers shows it tasted good! Showing appreciation.

No. A comment would show appreciation. Licking your fingers is just disgusting.

Wings and ribs and drumsticks are all meant to be eaten by hand. Is this a reverse?

How do you expect him to eat wings? It's nigh on impossible with cutlery.

If you're teaching your kids manners, folks would be agog at watching them trying to eat wings with a knife and fork.

I always eat the wings with my fingers, they're my favourite part too.

I would eat everything (perhaps not soup) with my hands, so your dh eating wings and you being horrified amazes me😲

And licking fingers (just my own, you understand), is the perfect end to a meal!

@PrincessHoneySuckle - agree it would have been better to avoid the argument. It just annoys me when he is always telling the kids off for their bad manners....

I agree eating a roast (with gravy?) with your fingers is not the done thing but that's why wings don't belong on the plate with a roast dinner. They're eaten straight from the carving board in the kitchen or saved for another day.

@seperatebeds it does sound like double standards on his part

No, if it’s part of a roast lunch then it should be knife and fork.
If it’s an odd mug of wings in a trendy restaurant with finger bowls then hands are more acceptable.

But in this instance he wasn't displaying bad manners, as wings are properly eaten with your fingers. Does he eat with his mouth open, or lick the plate, or anything like that?

YABU - so long as he ensures to show DC him thoroughly washing his hands afterwards for cleanliness. There are plenty of foods that I eat with my hands (pizza, ribs, sandwiches, chicken wings as per your OP and so on and so forth)

But I get the irritation if he’s bleated on at your DC for doing the same, only to then do it himself, I’ve never been a fan of the ‘do what I say not what I do’ type of parenting.

@LoyaltyBonus and @SamBeckett - for future dinners I will leave wings off the roast chicken

So you're not going to allow him to eat wings in future? 😂😂😂 Madness.

agree it would have been better to avoid the argument. It just annoys me when he is always telling the kids off for their bad manners....

Well it's not bad manners to eat wings with your fingers, so he wasn't being inconsistent.

OTOH, I do find it a bit sad when a meal involves constant criticism. Meals should be fun, enjoyable times if at all possible. I used to dread mealtimes with my family for a variety of reasons, and I've made a huge effort to make mealtimes enjoyable for my children.

They're all teenagers now, and eat with minimal savagery while also being fun and entertaining to spend time with.

I should correct "I used to dread mealtimes with my family for a variety of reasons..." to "As a child I used to dread mealtimes with my family for a variety of reasons..."

Eh? He won't be allowed to eat the wings?

Op, are you serious? He's eating them correctly. This is his home. Your kids should also eat wings with their fingers. It's how it's done.

Actually eating parts of chicken by hand is NOT bad manners in most settings. so it's fine if he tells kids off for bad manners while he uses fingers to eat chicken. At home...
www.etiquettescholar.com/dining_etiquette/table_manners/dinner_etiquette/meats_and_eggs/chicken.html

If this was a Sunday dinner roast then yes I would be annoyed too. But then I probably would not have served the wings any way because I see them a chef perk to be devoured in the kitchen ... If it was a roast chicken served any other way then the wings cannot really be eaten any other way.

Are you the type of wife who insists he uses a knife and fork for pizza?

Unclench.

Your kids would eat wings with their hands surely?? My 19 month old would eat some chicken off a leg with her hands??

We eat the wings using our hands, and have them before the roast dinner, bit of a cooks treat, :-)

Also, if you wrote this post a little differently...

Title - DH eating chicken wings with his fingers

Post - husband has gone to bed because we had an argument about eating chicken wings and chips with his fingers.

Would that be weird?? Or a side of chicken wings with a burger and chips??? Would you eat that with knife and fork!!

It's not about manners.