False promises/expectations - struggling to cope m

[user1469103274]

So me & my partner of 2 years agreed to come off contraceptive in February with the view to start trying and if it happened ... it happened. And at the end of last year he said that this year he would propose and we would get married as we have both agreed that we would like to be married when we have a child.

I’ve been off contraceptive now for 9 months and we haven’t been careful yet nothing has happened but a few near misses with some late periods . Each time my partner freaking out saying its wouldn’t be to the plan although he’s made promises about this year that haven’t happened.

I’ve tried to talk to him various times as I really feel this year I would have liked to have seen some kind of movement into the next phase of our life and it just hasn’t happened and it’s really dragged me down especially as I know of 20 people who are pregnant and 8 people who have got engaged and I’m constantly sat here thinking . Why not me even though the discussions have been had.

Is he all talk ? I feel so so so down and feel I’ve completely wasted a year of my life this year and can’t help but feel empty

Why don’t you propose to him? That way you get a yes or a no and you know where he stands and can make the decision of whether you have a future based on that.

The evidence would suggest he is all talk, yes.

Go back on contraception, get married then come back off it.

Though tbh he is not behaving like any man I've ever known who wanted a wife and baby. Normally they are falling over themselves to marry you. I'd say he's stringing you along and you are wasting your fertile years on him.

How old are you OP?

He sounds as if he doesn't really know what he wants. You made a decision together to come off contraception but neither want to have a child until you're married. That doesn't make any sense, surely you should have got married, then come off contraception.

To be honest I would be telling him straight what it is you want and if it isn't the same as what he wants, find a middle ground or go your separate ways, it is wasting both of your time otherwise.

And at the end of last year he said that this year he would propose and we would get married as we have both agreed that we would like to be married when we have a child.

He’s certainly leaving it to the last minute isn’t he....

It feels like there are more and more of these types of threads these days and it’s so depressing.

Stop waiting around for him, ask him outright if he wants to get married and tw

Post too soon: ask him outright if he wants to get married and if he says yes then start planning the wedding.

Otherwise I think you will be waiting around for a proposal that will never materialise...

Get back on contraception ASAP. It sounds like you both have very different ideas of where this relationship is going, and you don’t need to add a baby to that.

Two years!? Unless time is against you, that's not very long at all to promise to spend the rest of your life with someone and bring a baby into the mix. And guess who'll be left with it if it all goes pear shaped?
Broken promises? This all sounds very heavy for a two year relationship.

2 years isn't that long, and it sounds like he's not ready. Are you quite young?

Go back on contraception, get married then come back off it.

THIS WITH BELLS ON 🛎🛎🛎

Back on the contraception OP.

He sounds like is not to be trusted.
You know this.
Your gut knows this.
That's why you are upset.
Don't fall for it.
Do not get pregnant and be even more vulnerable to his messing around.

In your position I would tell him YOU need a break and some time to think.

Take that time. Don't be used by him.

Some men like to say what they think a woman wants to hear without meaning it.

Don't let your life become a casualty to this type of messing.

💐

Go back on contraception until you can sort things out either way. Sort the committment stuff out first, then baby

I genuinely don’t understand this thing where women wait around hoping the man will propose. You are both adults. Have a discussion, agree you both want to get married, plan a wedding.

I dont get waiting for him to 'propose'. Sit down and talk, set date for wedding and go shopping for an engagement ring next weekend. Why all the waiting for him?

Ask him if he was serious about you getting married and when would be a good date? If you can't be open then he's not the one.

I don't get the proposal thing either. You've agreed to get married so the proposal has happened. It is a proposal that you should marry each other. Not a fancy event.

And at the end of last year he said that ... we would get married as we have both agreed that we would like to be married when we have a child.

Apparently you agreed to start trying for a baby and apparently you both agreed to get married. However he panics whenever he thinks you might be pregnant and is delaying anything marriage related. I rather suspect it is you who desperately wants marriage and babies but he is too weak to object openly to being steamrollered into it.

So he’s happily having sex with you, knowing you’re not on birth control, and when your period is late, he’s freaking out saying its wouldn’t be to the plan? I think he’s working to a different plan than the one he’s mentioned to you.

I think you should tell him that you’re not prepared to be pregnant and unmarried, so you’re going back on birth control until after the wedding and you want to set a date so you can start planning. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.