Is he hiding it?

[ThisMightSoundOddButBearWithMe]

DH went out last night while I was at home with our 3DC’s who were nightmares for the majority of the evening (all under three and one of them is a breastfeeding 2 month old!) Sunday’s are my lay-in days and literally my only opportunity to have an hour to myself, so despite his likely hangover, I’ve made DH get up with the kids like he’d normally have to do today, as me having a tiny ounce of 'me' time is important too!

Anyway, whilst I was laying in bed trying to nod off again, I noticed his wallet wasn’t on his bedside table. He’s the type that every day without fail/after every night out, will put his phone, wallet and keys on the side. I wondered if maybe he lost it last night (though I’ve known him a long time and he’s never lost a damn thing!) so I leaned over and checked his coat and jeans which were in a crumpled pile on the floor right next to the bed, as I couldn’t be bothered to get out bed just yet to go and ask him if he still has his wallet. The Wallet wasn’t in the clothes he was wearing last night, so now here’s where it might get weird and my spidey senses are tingling for some reason.

IF he hasn’t lost it, which in all honesty, I don’t think he has, then that can only mean that it was left in his jeans over night, but that he’s then gone through the jeans this morning, retrieved the wallet and put it in his dressing gown pocket which he’s currently wearing. He has no plans to leave the house in his dressing gown, he’s sitting in the front room with our DC’s while they have breakfast. Never in his life has he put his wallet in the pocket of his dressing gown, but, if it’s not that he’s lost it, then the only place the wallet can be right now, is with him.

For some reason I’m feeling like something fishy is going on. But id like some opinions. Why would a man (potentially) put his wallet in his dressing gown pocket, rather than leave it in last nights clothes, or leave it on the side?

Er, ask him?

@ShirleyPhallus hitting the nail on the head here.

Does he gamble? There was a lot of football on yesterday, maybe he put a coupon on and was checking the results.

I dont even understand what sort of incriminating thing there could even be in a wallet.
Receipts would just be thrown away or put somewhere else, surely.
Other than that most people just have cash and cards in their wallet.

I think it's a sad commentary on your relationship is to assume there is something fishy going on. I wouldnt even notice if my husband hadn't put his wallet in the usual place.

There's literally nothing wrong here.

He was pissed. People always forget things, leave things in weird places, do stupid things when pissed.

You're insecure because you have 3 babies under 3 and probably exhausted. I've been there.
I am there! Please don't let this ruin your weekend.

Like I've said, I totally get how weird it all sounds. But those who 'wouldn't think twice about it' probably haven't been cheated on, lied to and deceived/had stuff hidden from them by the person they're with.

We're in the process of trying to rebuild the trust since he cheated, but he's lied to me a few times since then so it's taking me a while to build up confidence in him again.

I get why you're suspicious completely. Did he get a taxi home? Innocent explanation would be that he paid for the taxi and then left it by the door or something.

What was the overdraft for? Is he gambling or similar? Could have a lot of cash in there if so and what to hide it for that reason..

Having been married to a liar and a cheat I'd have to say that if you get that sense that something is wrong then 9/10 times it is!

he's recently lied to my face about extending his overdraft in a big way

I think his wallet is full of credit cards you don't know about.

Just ask him?

It must be very hard being with someone who you can't trust. I've never stayed with anyone I didn't trust, so I don't know about the details. Try to rest and talk to him about it later when the children are sleeping.

When I'm drunk I leave things in all sorts of funny places. He has likely paid for a taxi and been holding his wallet when he got in so dumped it on the nearest table. Ask him "wheres your wallet?" and stop driving yourself crazy.

Have you asked him yet?

Living with someone you don’t trust is exhausting and it rarely gets better - do you want your life to be like this forever ?

I wonder where it was.

We're in the process of trying to rebuild the trust since he cheated, but he's lied to me a few times since then so it's taking me a while to build up confidence in him again.

Read that back to yourself and let it sink in.

On what basis exactly do you plan for this trust to be built up? Because right now the only possible option there seems to be Lie To Myself. Because he simply just isn't trustworthy. Or honest. At all. And you know it. It's like saying, I'm working very hard at the moment to convince myself that Nigel Farage wants to stay in the EU but him starting the Brexit party is making it a difficult process for me.'

You'd laugh if it werent' so awful.

Stop lying to yourself. It will bite you on the bum. He's a bad apple.

This wallet thing is a red flag - telling you to just get the hell out. Not easy with a baby, I know. But this one is a total dud.