To think bullies /domineering people really dislike being 'pushed back'

[caravanette]

On the subject of bullying and domineering people I've noticed they can 'dish it out' as it were but tend to put on a strop /show their obvious disappointment when they're shown they can't dominate and people don't accept their crap. If you can't take it don't dish it out!!!

Yeah they fucking hate it.

Too tight

Too right***

Gives me great pleasure actually to say...errr, no sorry I won't/cannot/will not do that. For lovely kind generous friends I would literally drive 400 miles out of my way to help out or babysit or cook or 'lend' as much money as I could afford to lose (and never ask for it back) but if a CF tries to impose on me...they suddenly see a different woman! Turns out they distance themselves pretty quick once they know I'm 'not for profit'. My advice is 'Say NO when you can't afford the time/money/whatever)...its a fantastic filter for vampiric dickheads. A true friend says 'no worries whatsoever'. A CF will beat their fists on the ground.

Totally agree Cecil

Yes. Somehow you become the big, meanie bully and you're being unreasonable and aggressive. Have an ex H and a mother who cannot stand being stood up to.

That's why they're domineering bullies. With an ordinary person, other people are allowed opposing views.

I find the maturest people cope best with being ignored etc. I ignored someone I genuinely liked once cos I respected him and didn't want him to see me in a bad situation. He didn't take offence

Yep! After years and years of crap I finally stood up for myself against my husband and he couldnt take it at all. We are now getting divorced.

IME they make such a fuss out of being pulled up they place themselves as the victim.

Boils my tits

Great to see we're all on the same page on this!!

YANBU

People I have known like this have always become the 'victim' when someone stands up to them. Never their fault, never because of them/their initial actions.

Yep. Take take take take take. Then the second you can't give anymore or dare to say no, you are a selfish nasty bitch. Through really really hard lessons I say no to most things now.

Gosh I agree so much with you all -playing the victim- how true.
I do find that when I adopt a firm voice they are stuck for words

Bullies are almost always cowards in my experience. If you can find the courage to stand up to them they crumble.

#Mammatino Yes, I’ve been called “selfish” more times than I can count since I started overruling the people pleaser in me. It’s the ultimate insult for a people pleaser which is why they use it. Only now I call them out on that too, and ask them to explain how they’ve arrived at the conclusion I’m selfish. This seems to rile them up more, probably given they can’t.