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AIBU?

To think bullies /domineering people really dislike being 'pushed back'

16 replies

caravanette · 16/11/2019 20:50

On the subject of bullying and domineering people I've noticed they can 'dish it out' as it were but tend to put on a strop /show their obvious disappointment when they're shown they can't dominate and people don't accept their crap. If you can't take it don't dish it out!!!

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Cecilandsnail · 16/11/2019 21:08

Yeah they fucking hate it.

caravanette · 16/11/2019 21:09

Too tight

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caravanette · 16/11/2019 21:10

Too right***

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Cecilandsnail · 16/11/2019 21:15

Gives me great pleasure actually to say...errr, no sorry I won't/cannot/will not do that. For lovely kind generous friends I would literally drive 400 miles out of my way to help out or babysit or cook or 'lend' as much money as I could afford to lose (and never ask for it back) but if a CF tries to impose on me...they suddenly see a different woman! Turns out they distance themselves pretty quick once they know I'm 'not for profit'. My advice is 'Say NO when you can't afford the time/money/whatever)...its a fantastic filter for vampiric dickheads. A true friend says 'no worries whatsoever'. A CF will beat their fists on the ground.

caravanette · 16/11/2019 21:17

Totally agree Cecil

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WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 16/11/2019 21:17

Yes. Somehow you become the big, meanie bully and you're being unreasonable and aggressive. Have an ex H and a mother who cannot stand being stood up to.

RuffleCrow · 16/11/2019 21:18

That's why they're domineering bullies. With an ordinary person, other people are allowed opposing views.

caravanette · 16/11/2019 21:19

I find the maturest people cope best with being ignored etc. I ignored someone I genuinely liked once cos I respected him and didn't want him to see me in a bad situation. He didn't take offence

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Sallyseagull · 16/11/2019 21:35

Yep! After years and years of crap I finally stood up for myself against my husband and he couldnt take it at all. We are now getting divorced.

itsgettingweird · 16/11/2019 21:37

IME they make such a fuss out of being pulled up they place themselves as the victim.

Boils my tits

caravanette · 16/11/2019 21:44

Great to see we're all on the same page on this!!

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MissMogwai · 16/11/2019 21:51

YANBU

People I have known like this have always become the 'victim' when someone stands up to them. Never their fault, never because of them/their initial actions.

Mammatino · 16/11/2019 21:59

Yep. Take take take take take. Then the second you can't give anymore or dare to say no, you are a selfish nasty bitch. Through really really hard lessons I say no to most things now.

caravanette · 16/11/2019 22:08

Gosh I agree so much with you all -playing the victim- how true.
I do find that when I adopt a firm voice they are stuck for words

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SirGawain · 16/11/2019 22:22

Bullies are almost always cowards in my experience. If you can find the courage to stand up to them they crumble.

VisibleShantiLine · 16/11/2019 22:48

#Mammatino Yes, I’ve been called “selfish” more times than I can count since I started overruling the people pleaser in me. It’s the ultimate insult for a people pleaser which is why they use it. Only now I call them out on that too, and ask them to explain how they’ve arrived at the conclusion I’m selfish. This seems to rile them up more, probably given they can’t.

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