To tell my mum not to buy DC rubbish for Christmas this year.

[Lak1115]

I don’t want to sound ungrateful but every single year, birthdays and Christmas my mum buys the kids cheap rubbish that falls apart and it’s starting to infuriate me. She would rather buy my kids 10 cheap rubbish presents than one or two decent items. Like I said I don’t want to sound ungrateful. Money isn’t an issue on this. She spends hundreds on my siblings who don’t have children and around £50 each on my DC but it’s all rubbish.

It’s the kind of stuff that’s difficult to store like things that don’t go back into the box properly, that you have to buy more plastic storage boxes for. I don’t like too much unnecessary clutter either.

Both DC have additional needs and have very particular interests and half the time they don’t look at it past Christmas Day and in time it either ends up at the charity shop or in the bin 😱

Aibu to think I should chat to her about this? Obviously I won’t tell her what I’ve said above but maybe tell her that the children would rather have one item they are particularly interested in compared to several items they are not.

It frustrates me. In the past I’ve told her what they are interested in but buys things she likes the look of or things we liked as kids thinking DC will be the same. 😭

I think it’s secret competitiveness with my mil too. Mil buys quality items over rubbish and that sometimes means just one present each (ideal) but My mum wants to buy them loads to compete (I know her too well, this is most likely part of it).

I just can’t help feeling anxious about all things she’s gonna buy this year and how it will be just hanging round in their rooms til it goes to the charity shop.... Then I feel guilty getting rid of stuff she bought but surely she should ask what they want Before buying crap?

My mum isn’t the easiest person to talk to either so I dread it!

What about saying a plastic free Christmas for the environment?
But you have saved her the bother of finding alternatives so here is a suitable list
.....

This is my MIL all over! I hate it too but don't say anything to keep the peace

instead of saying "don't buy rubbish" why not say "don't buy anything, we're trying to cut down on stuff to help the environment".

Maybe you could suggest to her that what they'd really like, much, much more than your MILs any other present, would be a family subscription to your nearest zoo (or whatever)

Maybe say that you’re really worried about the planet your kids are going to inherit, you’ve watched programmes about plastics etc and this year you’re making a real effort to cut down on unnecessary consumption, of plastic in particular. So you’d really appreciate it if she could help by buying the kids fewer, good quality presents that have enduring value eg Lego, books etc. This is the case I’m presenting to my MIL anyway...

Tell both sets not to but anything and then no clutter and no competiveness.

Absolutely @Winterdaysarehere. I am trying to cut down on plastic so this is another reason I didn’t mention. I am guilty of buying some plastic items for them myself but I tend to pick wisely and buy things that will interest them for a long time and look after things so it can be sold on eventually. But my mum isn’t very very environmentally friendly 😭

Is there anything in particular that your DC would really like? Could you give that idea specifically to your mum and explain how that would be their favourite gift?

Or I specific outing they are desperate to do?

YANBU and environmental reasons are valid.

My mum does the exact same. It's not as bad now because she's started to realise it's only her own money she's wasting when stuff doesn't get played with or gets broken easily.

I do try and tell her what they really want to tell her that she doesn’t have to spend so much (they have enough relatives giving them gifts) but she just buys what she thinks they will like anyway. It’s just starting to infuriate me. If they don’t play with it after a certain amount of time I will get rid (preferably charity shop if still good condition). She does know I get rid as If I kept everything she ever bought I would need to put an extension on my house!

Tell her they're saving for something and would she give money instead. Then have a lie moan about how MIL won't listen and will give a present instead of money and they'll hate that etc

I complained to my mum a few weeks ago that MIL insisted on buying cheap shit that kept breaking to bulk up the pile of gifts (insists tat she needs to spend £50 even if the ideal gift is only £20. Then goes to B&M and buys rip off games that do't work.)
This then prompted a conversation about xmas which led to me saying I would prefer one or two quality items that 5/6 cheap ones which she has agreed to.
DH then told mil that the kids have so many toys that they would like a passport for xmas and please don't buy any shit from B&M! HE could have worded it better to be honest!

Sorry - tangent! YANBU.

My mums the same, except it’s not plastic tat that she buys, but expensive good quality stuff. The problem is that’s it’s almost all clothes that my fashion conscious dds would not be seen dead in, books that will never interest them and random ornaments that just sit there gathering dust.

I wish she’d just give them £20 in a card and stop wasting money on stuff they’ll never use. I have told her, I’m as nice a way as I can, but she doesn’t listen. 🤷‍♀️

Imagine how expensive university will be when your children are that age, it's such a shame to waste money on unsuitable toys when she could invest in their future.

Quantity over quality is never good! YANBU.