To not understand how it's cheaper to send dc to school with a cold happy meal than a packed lunch?

[bobstersmum]

In the news this week, an article about children in deprived areas being sent to school with a cold happy meal. Then parents in another article defending the reasons for it, saying that sometimes it's all they can afford. I just can't understand it? A happy meal is 2.99 I think? But a cheap loaf of bread is 50p, a cheap pack of sandwich meat or cheese is less than a pound, bag of bananas a pound multipack of crisps a pound, that's lunches for the week for around the same cost?

Until you have seen how some families live you don't grasp how you need the basic infrastructure and organisational skills to make cheap meals. It's not about cost. You can't make a cheap sandwich if you can't get to a cheap shop, if you haven't got a clean surface or cutlery. You can't batch cook and freeze without saucepans, a freezer, freezer bags and money in the electricity meter.

woodhill DD would actually miss meals rather than eat something she doesn't like. I think some of MrsKoala's DC are the same, iirc.

Surely if the dc are that hungry then they'll eat whatever is offered unless they have dietary requirements

< hollow laughter >

You have not met DS. He has ASD, so sensory issues with food texture combined with extremely rigid ideas about what is and isn’t acceptable would absolutely result in a hunger strike. He’s refused an entire packed lunch before because the cheese in his sandwich “looked sweaty”, which made him heave so much he couldn’t eat anything else either. He was beyond “hangry” by the time I collected him from school, so I can’t imagine he’d had a very productive afternoon. It galling because, as I’ve mentioned, our borough provides free school meals throughout primary and the menus look great. But instead each morning I’m making DS his limited, same-every-day lunch of Marmite sandwich (Marmite, thank god, does not sweat), Granny Smiths apple (any other sort of apple would cause distress) and plain hula hoops. I wish it wasn’t so. His little sister eats everything on the menu, but I know DS and I know how being confronted with an unfamiliar and inedible (to him) lunch would affect the rest of his day.

What would I do if the only thing he would eat was a happy meal? Fuck knows, but I’m thankful I don’t have to make that choice!

But I'm sure your dc are properly fed and not starving hungry

But if he has to eat what he’s given rather than what he will eat he’ll be starving hungry soon won’t he woodhill?

I used to think like you until I watched a programme about a fussy eater. Her parents had taken the advice of “she’ll eat what she’s given and not starve” from well meaning family members, but the girl had ended up in hospital on a drip multiple times for refusing to eat whatever she was given. She would literally rather have starved than eaten food she didn’t like. So yes, of course you’d have to send children like that in with a McDonald’s if they’ll eat it

Yes I agree, it's meeting in the middle.

Someone summed this up further up the thread. In the majority of cases (not all, but most), this will be down to dysfunctional parenting. No matter how much some posters try and say that to send a child in to school with cheese, crackers, an apple and a basics yogurt is utterly impossible - it really isn't. Sending them in with shite cold food such as Happy Meals is neglect, pure and simple.

And don't @ me! It's my opinion only.

woodhill Thu 21-Nov-19 17:55:00

But I'm sure your dc are properly fed and not starving hungry

No, DD4 was not properly fed and her diet is now very poor and deficient.

When she was younger she ate all sorts of junk whenever she could get her hands on it, and when at exH's for EOW visits she drank sugary fizzy drinks and ate Doritos from Friday evening to Sunday evening. In between - 12 days with me - she ate very little, apart from her salami sandwich lunches.

She ate no vegetables at all and still won't, at 18. She has never even tasted most vegetables (apart from when she was first weaned) and won't try them. Same goes for most fruits - no strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, mangoes, bananas. It's actually easier to list what fruit she will eat - apples. But not all the time. I have to guess when. I end up eating dozens of apples.

I have even bought her vitamins that she wouldn't take because she objected to the taste. I had them myself. She isn't on the spectrum. Just stubborn as a mule.

I meet her way more than in the middle. DD4 will not budge so I put food in the fridge and freezer that she will eat and continue to hide nutrients in goodies..

Why are leftovers so unacceptable for kids, you should see our office fridge on a Monday, Indian, Chinese and Pizza galore, all weekend takeaway leftovers. We earn above the average salary, we aren’t poor, we could afford to throw the leftovers away and buy M&S for lunch but it’s a massive waste, so everyone microwaves it for lunch on Monday. The rest of the week we are generally quite a healthy bunch. It’s all in moderation whilst trying not to be wasteful just because.

No matter how much some posters try and say that to send a child in to school with cheese, crackers, an apple and a basics yogurt is utterly impossible - it really isn't.

It isn't utterly impossible at all. But it is often in many cases utterly futile. It would just come back uneaten. I've spoken to many mums at the school and their children are not dx with any SEN but still they have a self restricted diet and would rather eat nothing.

My niece who is undiagnosed with any SEN had a very restricted diet growing up and now is 14 and in an eating disorder clinic for anorexia. She has gone from rather starve than eat something she doesn't like to just rather starving than eating at all. My dc are undiagnosed and 2 would starve rather than eat what isn't on their restricted list. There are some children who just hate food. If McDonalds or other similar unhealthy stuff is all they will eat then that's what you have to give them. It's not a game of chicken i'm willing to lose.

@MrsKoala I'm not talking about extenuating circumstances

Most of the parents sending kids in with really shit food are really shit parents

But to the teachers and everyone there are not extenuating circumstances. No special needs etc. Just crappy lunch boxes. As I said I know of 20% in ds2 class who have what MN would consider really shit lunches. That's a large percentage. Are they all shit parents as none have extenuating circumstances?

It's ok , you know, to acknowledge that some parents are neglectful and shit and don't give a toss what their child eats or how they are dressed or equipped for school. I've acknowledged that in some circumstances it is poverty. But in the most cases? Parents who simply don't care

You seem to want to twist a narrative to make it so that all these children being neglected and mistreated as absolutely fine, bless them - it's simply that they don't like ham sandwiches ..

And I'm no lunch box police ... I send my youngest in with chicken or cheese sandwiches or wrap. Maybe soup in a flask. Some crisps. Some fruit. A cake or biscuit. A carton of smoothie. And a bottle of water. Some people would say that wasn't as healthy as it could be.

So define a 'crappy lunchbox.'

I used the general term 'crappy lunchbox' as a cold McDonalds or nutritional equivalent. I absolutely do not think a chicken sandwich or flask of soup and some fruit could ever be described as the same as cold McDonalds - even if it did come with crisps and a cake.

I don't dispute there are neglectful careless parents out there. I have worked in a secondary school and seen a variety of parents. I am also not twisting anything. I have been answering the question of why someone would send a cold McDonalds. What I have said is why I would and why some people I know would.

While there are going to be parents who are lazy and shit there are also going to be lots who aren't. I like to hope the latter are the majority and my experiences support that hope.

math it sounded like you did your best though with your dd. That's all you can do.

DS doesn't eat particularly well Imo even though he is obsessed with fitness