To wish people would stop asking when the christening is?

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

DD is 6 months old.
Over the past 4 weeks 6 different family members have asked when the christening is.

Neither of us are religious. Neither of us are christened. None of our parents are religious. The last time we attended church together was 4 years ago for a wedding. I went 3 years ago for a funeral. That's it.

If we were intending on getting DD christened, we would definitely have done it before she was old enough to be upset by a strange man pouring water on her head (obviously strange to her, not saying vicars are strange ).

So why, oh why, are the people who supposedly know us best STILL asking when the christening is, and then looking at us like we have 3 heads when we say she's not having one?

We had the same when we didn't christen ours. There is still a section of society that expects christenings and church weddings of non-churchgoers. Just smile sweetly the first time they ask, and if they persist then cut them off at the knees.

Do christenings still happen? I haven't heard of anyone i know having one in about 20 years.

I’ve been to one christening as an adult, about 20 years ago. No one I know with kids did them.
Mind you I got married in b a field and an a tree hugger, so what do I know.
The older you get the less people try to interfere with your life though op. Roll then you have to be down and have a think skin.

I meant
till then you have to be firm and have a thick skin!!

Do you let them know that you aren't planning to bring them up as Christians ?
I think I'd have to put a puzzled look on, and say, well why do you think we would promise to bring our dc up as Christians, when we aren't Christian ourselves?
As I'd love to know why people who know you aren't Church goers, would think you would have your children Christened.

Onthecoins - do you want a badge for the 'most ignorant comment today' ?

@BackforGood that's pretty much always my response.

I think people just love a buffet

Just say “We’re not having her christened.”
You’ll have told everyone soon. Sorted.

My MIL gave our DS1 a christening gift for his first birthday. I'm guessing it was either a subtle dig about him not being christened or she bought it in anticipation of a christening that never happened. I just think for the older generation it was the done thing whether people believed or not. Whereas nowadays people only do it if they're religious.

How odd.

I do think some people expect christenings as more of an excuse for a party rather than a religious rite of passage.

If they keep pushing it then they're rude.

Both of my kids were christened, but if they choose not to christen their own kids I'll be disappointed but I won't ask questions - people just have to accept that it's a personal choice. I think for a lot of people that do christen nowadays it's just a tradition more than anything else.

I remember when DS was born I had people asking to be godparents and asking when/where the christening would be. I just said (repeatedly) we are not religious and will not be having our son christened for the benefit of everyone else's piss up.

I do not agree with any values or teachings of any religion and definitely would not be pushing that onto my child. No god is going to transform my son into a better person, it's up to me to teach him that.

Doesn't matter what other think/feel/expect in that instance. If you and dh are clear on this, a simple " never" answer is sufficient. Then go back to leaving the why/how comes to them.

Many people assume everyone else follows the same set of ‘rules’ as they do. Bizarre in this day and age.

A couple I know who have been together for twenty years and have two teenage children are constantly asked when they are getting married.

I'm RC, my H wasn't anything. It annoys me when people have a massive christening and never set foot n the church afterwards. It's just an excuse for a party unless you're religious.

my answer used to be bloody never we are a atheist household

im my little village the older people just asume you are doing it and are taken back when you say no

It's personal choice though I'm always bemused how many "urgent" requests for baptism are received in September/October, the school application deadline in October would not be a catalyst now would it???

If it's a desire for a celebration of the child, a first birthday party or a naming ceremony would do the trick. Assuming you want such a thing of course. I can't imagine asking anyone ever "when's the christening", you'd think people would ask are you having one, if they feel the need to bring it up at all.

If they're just after a buffet, maybe you could do a non-religious 'naming ceremony'. There's some ideas on the humanist website, but you can just DIY in any way you want.

humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-namings/

I think in a lot of places it's just the done thing. Where I live it would be normal for someone to ask when you're having the christening rather than if you are. I was christened, have god parents and my parents aren't religious in the slightest. All my family have christened their kids.

Noone in my family are religious and we only go to church for weddings and christenings, and I don't live in a religious area, so now I'm thinking about it I don't actually know why it's the done thing here 😂 if you said you weren't going to then it would be a case of being looked at strangely, as it's so engrained in culture to do it.
Its probably a case of 'we don't really believe in God however we'll christen the kids just in case!'

It's very rude to keep asking though even though you've made it clear you're not having one!

Our dc were baptised as we are religious, and both occasions were really special to us. I still would never assume anyone else would have one, and find it very strange to do so if you don't believe in God.

I think people like to celebrate the arrival of a baby - not just the parents, but their friends and family too. A christening serves this purposes, as well as the Christian aspects. We are not religious, and had Humanist naming ceremonies for our DC.

There's not going to be a christening because we're Satanists.

Accompanied with a sweet smile.

Do christenings still happen? I haven't heard of anyone i know having one in about 20 years.

I don't know anyone who hasn't had one! (unless their own religion made it pretty obvious why not )

It's still worst to have one for the sake of it without believing in anything -like someone getting married in church because it looks prettier on the photos - and rude to be so judgmental over someone's else choices!

OP, ignore the idiots, WHY should you have something you don't believe in , you are the one being normal here!

I think some people are more interested in the idea of a welcoming/celebration of the baby, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's fine to have a superstition-free naming ceremony (as PP have said, a humanist celebrant will be happy to oblige) if you want a party - and TBH that's nicer than going through the motions of a ritual you don't believe in.
Or you could just have a big party for family and close friends when the DC turns one (and will still be young enough not to really know or care what's going on.)

We had the same. My DH is so against religion that I was gobsmacked they asked to be honest!