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AIBU?

Nursery Issue

17 replies

IndigoR · 16/11/2019 09:30

My 15 month old DD has just started nursery 2 days a week, still settling in but I am really happy with the nursery so far.

She does 9-5 while I work. I went to pick her up at 5 and she was in the nap room fast asleep. There was someone in there with her, all the other children in the main room were playing and singing.

I was a bit confused as to why she had been put down for a nap at this time. I felt awkward saying anything as I am new to the nursery and I don’t want to get a bad rep in my first month.

Her bedtime is 7pm but she wouldn’t settle until gone 10pm last night. She was absolutely full of beans.

I do appreciate that children do get so tired in their first few weeks of nursery but is it normal for a child to be put down for a nap at this time?

Would I look like a dick if I mentioned that I would rather she not be allowed a nap so late in the day? (She already had 2 that day as usual).

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

55 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
27%
You are NOT being unreasonable
73%
Invisimamma · 16/11/2019 09:34

Next time you're in nursery just speak to them, say something like 'she didn't go to bed until was past 10pm last week because she had a late nap here, please try not to let her nap after 2pm'

I'd be annoyed tbh. But maybe she was really tired or had fell asleep playing and they moved her to the nap room.

HotDogGuy · 16/11/2019 09:35

I’d mention it to the nursery staff next week. You can just ask them not to let her have a nap after x time and they’ll usually do that for you.
My son used to take himself off to the quiet room to have a nap so she may have done that rather than them putting her down for a nap.
As she goes to nursery more she’ll settle into a routine and the staff will get to know her more and what you want to happen

TeenPlusTwenties · 16/11/2019 10:02

Surely the most likely thing is she was so exhausted by the change to a busy nursery that she just fell asleep?

OneDay10 · 16/11/2019 10:13

Well think about it. How do you stop a child who is shattered from falling asleep?? Shes there for a very long day so I'm surprised at her age you expect her to be up. Shes also not there every day to get into a routine of not sleeping like she does at home. A full day , every other day it's no wonder shes tired
You could ask them to not let her sleep, but how would they do that? and wouldnt she sleep on her way home anyway ?

Waveysnail · 16/11/2019 10:30

perhaps she fell asleep in the play room and they moved her?

Just have a chat and ask them to try and keep her awake after x time.

GenevaMaybe · 16/11/2019 10:33

I gave my nursery in London a written schedule and they followed it to the letter.
Tried the same thing here in Geneva and they told me they were child-led and pretty much threw it out in front of me!!
Hopefully your nursery will be cooperative in helping you find a routine that works for them and you, and your little girl.

schafernaker · 16/11/2019 10:50

My DDs nursery asked when she started if there was a time after which we would like a nap to be prevented. We are pretty laid back with DDs sleep schedule so said no. Personally if I’d been at work all day I’d love the extra time with DD in the evening!

GleamInYourEyes · 16/11/2019 10:54

You need to ask them what happened.

Childcare providers can't keep a tired child awake though - there are legal requirements regarding children's welfare. If a baby falls asleep at 5, then the nursery can't poke them awake.

melj1213 · 16/11/2019 11:02

I very much doubt they put her down for a nap intentionally. It's more likely that she was just so tired she fell asleep and they decided not to wake her.

2 days a week of 9-5 is both a long day for your DD but also not enough for her to be in a consistent routine (especially as she's still settling), so its entirely plausible that on that particular day she just overtired herself from all the nursery stimulus and the nursery staff can hardly be expected to force a 15month old to stay awake when they are very clearly in need of sleep.

How many naps does she normally have in a day? My DD always had a longer afternoon nap when she was at nursery vs when she was at home because the day was so much more full on, so could you ask the nursery to extend her afternoon nap in the hopes she doesnt then tire herself out to the point of sleep until bedtime?

Taraswell · 16/11/2019 11:11

Of course you should have a chat with them about it. Tell them your preferences but of course they should be led by your daughters presentations... maybe it's been exhausting for her getting used to a busy nursery. I don't think they would have purposefully put her down for a nap at that time

Indie139 · 16/11/2019 11:50

I work in a nursery and i doubt they wouldve put her down for a nap for no reason. We usually only allow naps late if the child is very tired, falling asleep or unwell, or parent requested.

I would just speak to them to find out why.

Thehop · 16/11/2019 11:53

You can mention it sure.

I work in a private day nursery and certain parents we know to try and power children through with a game etc but policy states we can’t stop them sleeping, their right is to rest if they are tired so they likely won’t stop her.

NerrSnerr · 16/11/2019 12:12

I agree with the others, she was probably
Exhausted and fell asleep I doubt they put her to sleep purposely.

welshladywhois40 · 16/11/2019 13:31

As per the others - just ask was she especially tired?

Also worth noting their stamina does improve. My son started at 12 months and he was too exhausted to move much after nursery to begin with but after a few weeks he was bouncing round the house again after nursery.

My son's nap included a 2-4 nap at one point and it was agreed not to let him nap beyond 4 so you can ask for them to help with sleep routines

Doje · 16/11/2019 13:48

Just tell them! I used to pick up DS1 at 1.30pm. He would normal nap before that but I wanted to make sure that a) he wasn't asleep when I picked him up and b) that I got nap time rather than nursery!

museumum · 16/11/2019 13:51

Do they not report back with naps? Our nursery would always have a sheet with food and naps and tell us he/she ate at 8, 12 and 3 or whatever and napped 11-12:30 and 3-4 or whatever.
In theory you can ask them to change stuff but I found it was mostly easiest for us to change our routine rather than have our dc out of sync with the rest of the nursery room.

BouquetOfRoses · 16/11/2019 13:52

Nursery is exhausting when children are not used to it.

My DC were all under 1 when starting nursery so I was asked for a written copy of their usual routine. Then then discussed that this was likely to change as they got used to nursery ie lunch was when they would have napped at home. Overall this was fine and when I was trying to wean away from long naps they would be supportive and try to shorten etc.

Don't be worried about asking questions, the staff will have been asked everything before! As long as you are polite 😊

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