To think - ending a friendship- never easy?

[caravanette]

In my experience no matter how respectful you are to another person when you reject their friendship advances they will always be disappointed at the very least when you do this?

Some will even show stronger reactions e.g. anger

At the very best they'll show disappointment

I think anyone who experiences ‘rejection’ might feel some negative emotions, yes.

Do you want to end a friendship?

Twinkle not at the moment just a historical observation really

From some of the threads on here - so many people have difficulty with ending a friendship/saying no etc - I'm unfortunately no exception.. however I also think sometimes it's VERY NECESSARY

I just ignore them. Works for me.

Ignoring is often the best way

Ive never had to end a friendship. If someone is pissing you off just see less of them

@caravanette Ignoring is very cruel although it depends on the situation. If you don’t know them and they are ‘coming on to you’ then I guess ignoring should nip things in the bud. An old friend, you should definitely talk to as it can be very damaging to be ghosted.

SuperMeerkat - in an ideal world I agree with you but if you start pointing bad things out does that create unnecessary drama?

It depends on the friendship, how close you are. Some relationships would deserve an explanation, rather than ghosting.

This can never be easy or comfortable.

I agree Seahorse but if a once good relationship has deteriorated then it's just difficult to have that talk

It’s a hard one, someone obviously trying to ghost you and you not understanding what you did wrong is hurtful, but then being told straight someone doesn’t like you anymore and basically being horrible about you and things they don’t like is also awful!!

You can't win Jimdandy

I was ghosted after 50 years, we were the same age and raised like sisters. She started acting weird in the run up to my 50th birthday and was an absolute dick on the day. That was over 4 years ago, never seen her since.

I kept texting her for about the first year, suggesting we meet for coffee to try and find out what was wrong but she kept fobbing me off.

Fortunately I have lots of very good friends so could cope with the loss but it was a nasty, shabby way to be treated .

Yeah I was cut off by a (so I thought) good friend once with no explanation, and it was really hurtful. I’m pretty sure it was connected to her personal circumstances more than anything I’d ‘done’, but that is only my inference. I wouldn’t do it to a friend myself but I kind of get that if you absolutely don’t want them in your life anymore there may be little point in a conversation.

It is difficult. Has happened to me both ways. I have been ghosted and I have wanted to stop being friends. I haven't been very successful with me wanting to end a friendship. One ended with an argument - my friend being very angry because I had changed. The other I am still friends with.

redcar - that's the thing - even if you have a conversation they'll still feel disappointed about the whole thing

Twinkle - that's the thing but even though she was angry I bet you've never regretted ending it

I don’t think you can control how they’ll feel OP. If they want to be friends and you show them that you don’t, then yes, they might well be disappointed. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done the wrong thing.

True

This happened to me about a year ago,a mutual friend of long standing did it to another friend and i.We were all close and it was hard,particularly as shes still friends with other mutual friends.We are all going to mutual friends partners 50th party in couple weeks and my friend says she will confront her.Im not happy re this,as i think we should have moved on and i dont think shes worth getting upset over.Also why drag other friends into it.Her partner,other friends and myself have tried to persuade her but shes adamant,shes texted her asking possibly to meet but of course ex friend has ignored it.I just want to put it behind me i was hurt and upset at time and the reasons for ending friendship were silly and pointless but now i really dont care,I worry my friend will make herself look stupid in front of this person,and i dont want that.

Depends. I’ve never actively ended a friendship but it’s happened twice to me, by close friends. Once at 17 by my school bestie - we did resume it a few years later but I let it drift as we didn’t have much in common (no FB etc then so if you didn’t phone that was it). One in my early 30s - I was ghosted and have no idea why!! We are FB friends but she rarely posts anyway.
Both times we had prob drifted a bit and my school friend had a boyf, our lives were different - but 2nd time I had had DD, she was living w her partner who she married etc.
A lot of friendships have drifted in past few years due to not being at school gates any more, mutual friends having issues etc.
I think if I wanted to end a long-standing friendship I’d have to at least talk to them. In terms of more recent/less established, I’d be evasive w meeting up. In fact I ended up bumping into one of these recently and I thought how were we ever friends!