To leave my 10 month old to cry?

[DobbyIsAGoodElf]

I have a 10 month old DS, he has never been a good sleeper. He fights sleep something chronic, absolutely always has.
He basically cries himself to sleep, for every nap, every bedtime and every night waking. Not like a whimper or a little cry, a proper blue in the face screaming and I've tried everything I can think of. This isn't a new or recent thing he has been like this from about 4 weeks old.

So far I have tried, holding him, feeding him, cuddling him, rocking him, laying near him, pushing him in the pram, the car, my bed, his bed, sling, white noise, blackout blinds, pick up put down, controlled crying and now I just can't see any way forward besides just letting him cry?!

We are all perminantly exhausted living off of 4 hours sleep and my 2 older DC are going to school having been woken up at 3/4am by his screaming.

Not to mention what the neighbours must think. I feel awful leaving him but aibu? Is there something I'm missing? I never had anything like this with my older 2.

[Ohnoherewego62]

Have you tried co sleeping??

We were exhausted with a baby sleep regression that started around 8months ish? And is still going on months later.

We decided to co sleep as we'd tried everything else bar allowing her to CIO (I wouldnt use it but no judgement!!!).

Sleep deprivation is awful though! Is he definitely tired when going for a nap?

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Ok, most parents will try and get baby to sleep directly after feeding them. Is this the case with you? Do you feed the baby, burp and then try and settle him for sleep?
If so, the crying could be related to the feeding not sleeping. He may have acid reflux and need to sleep in an elevated position, propped up in semi recline on a wedge. He may have a food intolerance say to milk or soy.

[ThePurpleMoose]

Have you investigated potential medical issues e.g. reflux, CMPA? Also have you tried moving nap/bedtimes around? My 6MO isn't great at sleeping but it's a lot easier if you catch her at just the right moment when she's tired but not overtired - she tends to go into hyper mode when she needs a nap and by the time she looks obviously tired i.e. yawning, eye rubbing etc. she's gone past the sweet spot.

[doodleschmoodle]

I think in your shoes I would enlist the services of a sleep consultant. Many of them do a free 15 minute phone consultation so if their full services are too expensive then you could get some tips for free.

[Heartburn888]

Have you tried giving him a dummy?

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Here is an article
www.verywellhealth.com/preventing-infant-reflux-1742625

If you suspect acid reflux (and spitting up is just one symptom and not in all babies with acid reflux) then see your doctor. They will help you as there’s even medications for ten month olds.n

[GivemeGinandTonic]

You may have already read books on this but I used the baby sleep guide. Very small easy to read book that taught me a lot about baby sleep cycles and consistency etc, no cc needed and worked v well.